The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy (acx book reading txt) 📕

a low rumble, and large drops of rain spattered on the thatch above him. He remained indifferent, tracing a pattern with his finger on the dusty surface of a little rustic table. Fleur’s future! “I want fair sailing for her,” he thought. “Nothing else matters at my time of life.” A lonely business⁠—life! What you had you never could keep to yourself! As you warned one off, you let another in. One could make sure of nothing! He reached up and pulled a red rambler rose from a cluster which blocked the window. Flowers grew and dropped⁠—Nature was a queer thing! The thunder rumbled and crashed, travelling east along a river, the paling flashes flicked his eyes; the poplar tops showed sharp and dense against the sky, a heavy shower rustled and rattled and veiled in the little house wherein he sat, indifferent, thinking.

When the storm was over, he left his retreat and went down the wet path to the river bank.

Two swans had come, sheltering in among the reeds. He knew the birds well, and stood watching the dignity in the curve of those white necks and formidable snakelike heads. “Not dignified⁠—what I have to do!” he thought. And yet it must be tackled, lest worse befell. Annette must be back by now from wherever she had gone, for it was nearly dinnertime, and as the moment for seeing her approached, the difficulty of knowing what to say and how to say it had increased. A new and scaring thought occurred to him. Suppose she wanted her liberty to marry this fellow! Well, if she did, she couldn’t have it. He had not married her for that. The image of Prosper Profond dawdled before him reassuringly. Not a marrying man! No, no! Anger replaced that momentary scare. “He had better not come my way,” he thought. The mongrel represented⁠—! But what did Prosper Profond represent? Nothing that mattered surely. And yet something real enough in the world⁠—unmorality let off its chain, disillusionment on the prowl! That expression Annette had caught from him: “Je m’en fiche!” A fatalistic chap! A continental⁠—a cosmopolitan⁠—a product of the age! If there were condemnation more complete, Soames felt that he did not know it.

The swans had turned their heads, and were looking past him into some distance of their own. One of them uttered a little hiss, wagged its tail, turned as if answering to a rudder, and swam away. The other followed. Their white bodies, their stately necks, passed out of his sight, and he went toward the house.

Annette was in the drawing-room, dressed for dinner, and he thought as he went upstairs: “Handsome is as handsome does.” Handsome! Except for remarks about the curtains in the drawing-room, and the storm, there was practically no conversation during a meal distinguished by exactitude of quantity and perfection of quality. Soames drank nothing. He followed her into the drawing-room afterward, and found her smoking a cigarette on the sofa between the two French windows. She was leaning back, almost upright, in a low black frock, with her knees crossed and her blue eyes half-closed; grey-blue smoke issued from her red, rather full lips, a fillet bound her chestnut hair, she wore the thinnest silk stockings, and shoes with very high heels showing off her instep. A fine piece in any room! Soames, who held that torn letter in a hand thrust deep into the side-pocket of his dinner-jacket, said:

“I’m going to shut the window; the damp’s lifting in.”

He did so, and stood looking at a David Cox adorning the cream-panelled wall close by.

What was she thinking of? He had never understood a woman in his life⁠—except Fleur⁠—and Fleur not always! His heart beat fast. But if he meant to do it, now was the moment. Turning from the David Cox, he took out the torn letter.

“I’ve had this.”

Her eyes widened, stared at him, and hardened.

Soames handed her the letter.

“It’s torn, but you can read it.” And he turned back to the David Cox⁠—a sea-piece, of good tone⁠—but without movement enough. “I wonder what that chap’s doing at this moment?” he thought. “I’ll astonish him yet.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Annette holding the letter rigidly; her eyes moved from side to side under her darkened lashes and frowning darkened eyes. She dropped the letter, gave a little shiver, smiled, and said:

“Dirrty!”

“I quite agree,” said Soames; “degrading. Is it true?”

A tooth fastened on her red lower lip. “And what if it were?”

She was brazen!

“Is that all you have to say?”

“No.”

“Well, speak out!”

“What is the good of talking?”

Soames said icily: “So you admit it?”

“I admit nothing. You are a fool to ask. A man like you should not ask. It is dangerous.”

Soames made a tour of the room, to subdue his rising anger.

“Do you remember,” he said, halting in front of her, “what you were when I married you? Working at accounts in a restaurant.”

“Do you remember that I was not half your age?”

Soames broke off the hard encounter of their eyes, and went back to the David Cox.

“I am not going to bandy words. I require you to give up this⁠—friendship. I think of the matter entirely as it affects Fleur.”

“Ah!⁠—Fleur!”

“Yes,” said Soames stubbornly; “Fleur. She is your child as well as mine.”

“It is kind to admit that!”

“Are you going to do what I say?”

“I refuse to tell you.”

“Then I must make you.”

Annette smiled.

“No, Soames,” she said. “You are helpless. Do not say things that you will regret.”

Anger swelled the veins on his forehead. He opened his mouth to vent that emotion, and could not. Annette went on:

“There shall be no more such letters, I promise you. That is enough.”

Soames writhed. He had a sense of being treated like a child by this woman who had deserved he did not know what.

“When two people have married, and lived like us, Soames, they had better be quiet about each other. There are things one does not drag up into the light