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think me capable of deciding any point in which two such gentlemen disagree.’ Thwackum and Square, who both alike thought themselves sure of a favourable decision, seconded my request. She answered with the same good humour, β€˜I must absolutely be excused: for I will affront neither so much as to give my judgment on his side.’ Indeed, she always showed the highest deference to the understandings of men; a quality absolutely essential to the making a good wife. I shall only add, that as she is most apparently void of all affectation, this deference must be certainly real.”

Here Blifil sighed bitterly; upon which Western, whose eyes were full of tears at the praise of Sophia, blubbered out, β€œDon’t be chickenhearted, for shat ha her, d⁠⸺⁠n me, shat ha her, if she was twenty times as good.”

β€œRemember your promise, sir,” cried Allworthy, β€œI was not to be interrupted.β€β β€”β€œWell, shat unt,” answered the squire; β€œI won’t speak another word.”

β€œNow, my good friend,” continued Allworthy, β€œI have dwelt so long on the merit of this young lady, partly as I really am in love with her character, and partly that fortune (for the match in that light is really advantageous on my nephew’s side) might not be imagined to be my principal view in having so eagerly embraced the proposal. Indeed, I heartily wished to receive so great a jewel into my family; but though I may wish for many good things, I would not, therefore, steal them, or be guilty of any violence or injustice to possess myself of them. Now to force a woman into a marriage contrary to her consent or approbation, is an act of such injustice and oppression, that I wish the laws of our country could restrain it; but a good conscience is never lawless in the worst regulated state, and will provide those laws for itself, which the neglect of legislators hath forgotten to supply. This is surely a case of that kind; for, is it not cruel, nay, impious, to force a woman into that state against her will; for her behaviour in which she is to be accountable to the highest and most dreadful court of judicature, and to answer at the peril of her soul? To discharge the matrimonial duties in an adequate manner is no easy task; and shall we lay this burden upon a woman, while we at the same time deprive her of all that assistance which may enable her to undergo it? Shall we tear her very heart from her, while we enjoin her duties to which a whole heart is scarce equal? I must speak very plainly here. I think parents who act in this manner are accessories to all the guilt which their children afterwards incur, and of course must, before a just judge, expect to partake of their punishment; but if they could avoid this, good Heaven! is there a soul who can bear the thought of having contributed to the damnation of his child?

β€œFor these reasons, my best neighbour, as I see the inclinations of this young lady are most unhappily averse to my nephew, I must decline any further thoughts of the honour you intended him, though I assure you I shall always retain the most grateful sense of it.”

β€œWell, sir,” said Western (the froth bursting forth from his lips the moment they were uncorked), β€œyou cannot say but I have heard you out, and now I expect you’ll hear me; and if I don’t answer every word on’t, why then I’ll consent to gee the matter up. First then, I desire you to answer me one question⁠—Did not I beget her? did not I beget her? answer me that. They say, indeed, it is a wise father that knows his own child; but I am sure I have the best title to her, for I bred her up. But I believe you will allow me to be her father, and if I be, am I not to govern my own child? I ask you that, am I not to govern my own child? and if I am to govern her in other matters, surely I am to govern her in this, which concerns her most. And what am I desiring all this while? Am I desiring her to do anything for me? to give me anything?⁠—Zu much on t’other side, that I am only desiring her to take away half my estate now, and t’other half when I die. Well, and what is it all vor? Why, is unt it to make her happy? It’s enough to make one mad to hear volks talk: if I was going to marry myself, then she would ha reason to cry and to blubber; but, on the contrary, han’t I offered to bind down my land in such a manner, that I could not marry if I would, seeing as narro’ woman upon earth would ha me. What the devil in hell can I do more? I contribute to her damnation!⁠—Zounds! I’d zee all the world d⁠⸺⁠n’d bevore her little vinger should be hurt. Indeed, Mr. Allworthy, you must excuse me, but I am surprised to hear you talk in zuch a manner, and I must say, take it how you will, that I thought you had more sense.”

Allworthy resented this reflection only with a smile; nor could he, if he would have endeavoured it, have conveyed into that smile any mixture of malice or contempt. His smiles at folly were indeed such as we may suppose the angels bestow on the absurdities of mankind.

Blifil now desired to be permitted to speak a few words. β€œAs to using any violence on the young lady, I am sure I shall never consent to it. My conscience will not permit me to use violence on anyone, much less on a lady for whom, however cruel she is to me, I shall always preserve the purest and sincerest affection; but yet I have read that women are seldom proof against

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