The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

Marley a ticket to fly here on Friday and we’ll all come home together next week.”  She told me some details about the funeral and then asked if I would put her daughter on the phone.

I gave Marley privacy, but half an hour later when I was sure the call was over, I went to find her.  She lay on her bed with her back to the door.

“Hi,” I said softly.  “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, and sat up.  The marks of her tears stained her cheeks.  “I talked to Gunnar.  He’s so sad, even his voice sounds different.”

I nodded and my own eyes filled again.  “It’s a very, very hard time for him.  I’m glad you’ll be there to help soon.”

“Do you really think I’ll help?”

“I definitely think so.  You and Hallie make him so happy.”

She wiped under her eyes.  “Your dad died, didn’t he, when you were little?  Was there anything anyone did that really helped you?”

I thought back to that time, but my memories from then seemed like a smudge of darkness—it was hard to pick out actual events.  Even the funeral…  “I don’t know if there was any one, particular thing.  I remember being glad that my teacher at school let me leave the room to cry without having to ask and get a hallway pass.  My dance instructor stopped yelling at me for a few months, which was nice.  I bet a lot of people were very helpful, but I was too young to really appreciate it.”

“What did your mom do?  Did she make you feel better?”

I thought about lying, but I wasn’t any good at it.  I opted for a half-truth.  “She was having a hard time, too.  Everyone deals with things in different ways.”

“When did you feel totally good?” she asked.

“Are you wondering when Gunnar will get over it?”  Marley nodded at me and I thought for a moment.  I didn’t think I really ever had, myself.  “It’s going to take a long time, but he’ll get less and less sad.  He’ll start remembering his dad without crying every time he does.  Then he’ll go through a whole day without thinking once about how much he misses him, and that will make him worry that he’s forgetting and feel guilty.  He won’t forget, though.  It just gets easier.  I don’t know exactly how long it will take,” I cautioned, when I saw her brows furrow.  “It’s different with everybody.”  That was the best I could do, but it seemed to make Marley feel a little better.

Friday morning, I drove her to our small airport and got her on the plane.  It was a tough goodbye for both of us, but I hugged her hard and told her that I’d see her soon.  I went from there right over to practice at the stadium.  It was only three days a week right now, but of course I was working on my own in every spare moment.  I had signed up for a tumbling class that didn’t start until next week but I was already doing stuff online, and I’d been heading to my old high school to try stunts on the grass field instead of on the concrete pad behind the bookstore.  It was much more forgiving, which was lucky, since I’d taken a few more falls.

“I think it’s another cut day!” Addison announced when I came in, and I barely managed to keep the smile on my face.  She was certainly happy about it, but she hadn’t been the one back in Sam’s office on the last cut day.

“All the vets are afraid that Kennedy is getting the ax.” Addison pulled me closer and spoke in a gleeful whisper.  “I guess she had emotional problems, so she ate her feelings.”  She laughed.  “The girl had a lot of feelings!”

I pulled away from her hand on my arm.  “That’s not very nice.”

She rolled her eyes like Marley.  “Gaby, as someone whose ass almost got marched out of here, I would think that you’d be pretty happy that someone else’s is on the line.  There are thirteen of us trainees left, and if Kennedy goes, there would be six spots open.  The odds would be better for you.”

“For all of us,” I corrected, but she was as sure as I was that she wouldn’t be getting the ax herself.

“Sure, whatever,” she answered breezily, then narrowed her eyes.  “You’re Gaby Carter, right?  That’s your last name?”

“Yes.”  We were known around the studio mostly by nicknames and numbers and I wasn’t sure how Addison knew that.  “Why?”

“I think my big sister knows you.  She’s a lawyer.  Ainsley Evette.”

I swallowed.  “Yes, I worked with her when I was a real estate agent.”

“Right, that’s what she said.  She told me that you used to work for Shephard Sterling at Sterling Standard Realty but that you—”

“Let’s go, Woodsmen Dames—I mean, ladies,” Coach Sam called from the front of the room.  “Damn—I mean, darn, we have to get a new name for the squad.”

“After we determine the final roster,” Rylah reminded him, and we all took our spots on the floor.  My heart was already pounding as my mind ran through possibilities of what Addison’s sister might have known about me, and what she might have mentioned about why I’d left my job at Sterling Standard Realty, working for Shephard.  Did she know what I’d done?  Did everyone know?  Shame burned up in my face.

It was hard to focus after that but I must have done just enough, because I escaped the requests to come to Sam’s office at the end of practice.  Only Parys with a Y and Tiara got called back, and I practically ran out before they could say, “Oh, we forgot!  Number seventeen, Gaby, whose tumbling hasn’t improved.”  At least the body makeup had stayed on my knees so they couldn’t see the bruises there.

I rushed to get ready at my condo before I picked up Tessa but there wasn’t enough time to perfect everything, so later