Not Pretending Anymore by Ward, Penelope (big ebook reader .TXT) 📕

Declan had suggested. I probably didn’t need to shower now that I wasn’t going in to work, but he was right. It did relax me, and by the time I got out, I no longer felt as guilty as I had before.

After I dried myself off, I dialed Declan back.

He answered, “Have we lost all our fucks yet?”

“We have. Or at least we’re trying to. It’s done. It was very uncomfortable for me, but I feel a lot better since I showered.”

“Woohoo! Welcome to the dark side.”

I chuckled, twirling a piece of my wet hair. “What’s next?”

“You’ve got the entire night off. The possibilities are endless.”

I knew Will was working at the hospital tonight. He’d probably text me as soon as he realized I’d called out to see if I was okay. Would I lie to him, too? I suppose I could be honest and tell him I wasn’t really sick, just needed a mental break. That was the truth.

There was a knock at the door.

“Hang on. Someone is at the door.”

When I opened, I found a delivery man standing there. “Delivery for Molly?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I didn’t order anything.”

“I did,” Declan said in my ear.

My jaw dropped. “Declan, you what?” I took the bag from the man and ran to get my wallet, but he held his hand out. “Tip is taken care of.” He nodded. “Have a great night. Enjoy.”

The smell of marinara wafted in the air. I knew that smell. This food was from my favorite Italian place down the street.

“How did you manage this? I didn’t even know Nonna’s delivered.”

“I called while you were in the shower. And…well, they deliver if the owner’s daughter has a crush on you.”

“Ah.” I felt a twinge of jealousy and shook my head to ward it off.

“I knew you’d sit around for hours debating what to eat. So I made it easy. It’s not my gnocchi, but it will have to do. Besides, I couldn’t find any place fast enough that delivered breakfast for dinner.”

“I’m too spoiled with your French toast anyway. No one could top it.” I sighed as I opened the bag and took out the aluminum containers. In addition to the gnocchi, he’d ordered me cheesecake. “Declan, seriously, this was so sweet of you. I can’t even—”

“Okay, so dinner’s sorted. No Fucks Given Day is in full effect. Now we have to figure out the rest of your night.” He paused. “I assume you want to be alone if you’re not feeling great?”

He might have wondered whether the man I was dating would be coming over. Declan never asked how things were going with Will, so I never offered the information. Did it bother him? There were things I avoided asking him too—like if he’d met anyone or screwed anyone since arriving in Wisconsin. Perhaps he was aloof with me because he didn’t want to share what was going on with him.

“Will is working tonight,” I reported.

“Ah. Good. Okay. Well, I can’t be there to keep you company either, of course, but I can still provide compelling dinner conversation.”

I smiled. “That sounds perfect.”

Declan stayed on the phone with me for over an hour while I ate the delicious dinner he’d ordered. While we’d talked briefly a few times a week since he’d gone, I hadn’t spent this kind of time with him in a while. And it made me really miss him.

After we got off the phone, I was on my way to my room when I took a little detour, instead opting to enter Declan’s room and lie in his empty bed. To my surprise, even though he’d been gone a month, his sheets still smelled of his cologne. I hugged his pillow and nodded off, feeling rested and truly cared for.

***

Later that week, Will visited my apartment for the very first time. You’d think in all the weeks I’d been seeing him, he would have come by at least once. But I’d never suggested it while Declan was living here, and I’d done a great job of avoiding the situation like the plague. So him coming over was long overdue.

When I opened the door, Will looked so handsome and held a huge bouquet of flowers. He handed them to me before pulling me into a hug. “Hey, gorgeous. How are you?”

I sniffed the arrangement of lilies and hydrangeas. “I’m good. Thank you so much for these.”

“Well, this is a pretty big occasion, finally getting to see your apartment.” He looked around. “Nice place.”

“Thank you.” I walked over to my sink and pulled a vase from under it.

Will leaned against the counter as I arranged the flowers. “You said your roommate recently left, right?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Will obviously never knew my mystery male roommate and Declan were one and the same. I hated lying to him, but I couldn’t risk admitting everything now.

“Yeah… He left, and now I have to find someone else. But he paid the rent through the end of his original commitment, so I still have a couple of months before I have to find someone.”

“Well, this will be a nice break from having to share your space,” Will said as he continued to scope out the place.

“I definitely prefer living alone, but finances mandate that I have a roommate.”

Will flashed a sympathetic look. “I get it. It’s expensive to live in the city, and this is a nice place in a great neighborhood. Before I paid off my student loans, I always had to have roommates, too.” He smiled. “In any case, I’m happy to have you all to myself tonight.” He reached out to draw me close. “Come here.”

I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he flipped me around and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“What are you doing?”

“You seem tense. I want to help.” He began to massage.

I closed my eyes and relished the feel of his strong hands on my neck and then my back. I thought about how