Not Pretending Anymore by Ward, Penelope (big ebook reader .TXT) 📕

“I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I know. And I’m going to miss you.” I cupped her face in my hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “I might be leaving, but I’m leaving a piece of me behind, Molly.” I looked straight into her eyes. “And I’m taking a piece of you with me. We’ll always have that. We won’t physically be in the same place, but it doesn’t change how much I care about you.”

Molly sniffled. “Will we talk every day?”

I smiled. “Dr. Dick will probably hate that. So absofuckinglutely.”

She laughed through her tears. All I wanted to do was kiss her beautiful, red, blotchy face, but I knew that would make things harder. “Seriously, Moll.” I took her hands and weaved her fingers with mine. “Thank you for the last few months. I don’t know how you did it, but I feel like you’ve changed me as a person.”

Molly nodded. “I know what you mean. I feel the same way.”

Before we could say anything else, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I wanted to ignore it, but I had a feeling it might be the driver, so I begrudgingly let go of one of her hands and dug it out.

I frowned reading the text. “My car is here. It’s a few minutes early. There’s nowhere to park, so he’s going to circle the block until I come down.”

Renewed tears began to fill Molly’s eyes. I pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “No more crying, beautiful. We’re not even going to say goodbye. I’m coming back in a couple of months, remember? So it’s more of an I’ll see you later.”

Though it was true that I might be back, things wouldn’t be the same. She’d have spent a lot of time getting closer to Will, and…well, this would likely be the end of who she and I were to each other at this moment. I kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you soon, Mollz.”

I was super proud of her for not crying again as she walked me to the door. I gave her one last hug and wheeled my bags out. “Take care, sweetheart.”

It took everything in me to put one foot in front of the other and walk away. My heart wanted to stay so badly. But somehow I managed to get into the waiting car. Inside, I stared straight ahead, even though I felt Molly’s eyes on me at the window. I knew she was waiting for me to look back. But I couldn’t do that to her. It would only make it harder if she saw the tears on my face. So I looked down. Goodbye, Molly.

CHAPTER 23

Molly

A week later, my father was at the hospital for a scan. It was my day off, so I went with him. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could, and I also wanted to give Kayla some time to run her errands. She’d been by his side nearly every minute since his diagnosis.

They’d taken Dad back a few minutes ago, so I sat in the empty waiting room by myself. While I was thumbing through a magazine, Will walked in, carrying a coffee in each hand.

“Hey,” I said. “I didn’t think you were on today.”

“I’m not. I came to keep you company.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek before taking the empty seat next to me.

“You did? Thank you. That’s so sweet.”

He extended a hand with one of the Styrofoam cups, then pulled it back and switched. “Actually, this one’s yours. It’s black. Mine has cream and sugar.”

His thoughtfulness made me feel guilty. I’d mostly avoided him over the last week, since Declan had left. I hadn’t felt up to spending time with another man. In fact, it had been an effort to get out of bed most days, so pretending to be happy was more than I could handle.

Will peeled back the plastic tab on the top of his coffee. “How’s your dad doing?”

I sighed. “He’s lost a lot of weight, and his skin tone is off. But he’s doing his best to be in good spirits.”

Will nodded and took my hand. The gesture was sweet, but it also reminded me of how tightly Declan had held my hand on that last evening before he left. Which in turn, made me feel even guiltier. I was sitting next to a man who was trying so hard to be here for me, yet I was thinking about someone else.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but it looks like you’ve lost some weight, too,” he said. “I’ve heard you tell more than one new father that it’s important to take care of the caretakers. I’d like to do that for you, Molly. You don’t need to carry this all on your own.”

God, I’m an awful person. The guy I was supposed to be dating had offered to take care of me because I was sad. And part of the reason I was sad was because of another man.

I squeezed Will’s hand. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

Over the next half hour, our conversation moved to lighter topics. We talked about work, who was secretly sleeping with whom this month, and Will kept me entertained, telling me about all of the bizarre things he’d seen shaved into a woman’s private area over the years.

“Someone really shaved the Chanel logo down there?”

“How could I make this shit up?”

I laughed and realized it was the first time I’d done so in a week. But then my cell rang, and my smile wilted. Declan’s name flashed on the screen. And I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

Will eyed me and sipped his coffee. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”

I shook my head. “I’ll call him back later. He knew my dad had an appointment, so he’s probably checking in to see how things went.”

Will nodded, but said nothing.

Since I’d been dodging him, he didn’t know Declan had