I Am What I Am by John Barrowman (white hot kiss .TXT) 📕

their ashes in all the places they loved in Florida and in London, and the rest we spread under a tree in our garden in Wales. We miss them all, and feel blessed that they enriched our lives.

CHAPTER TWELVE

‘A NIGHTINGALE SANG IN BERKELEY SQUARE’

★

‘You’re an impossible thing, Jack.’

The Doctor ‘Last of the Time Lords’, Doctor Who

Six and a half amazing things about playing Captain Jack

1 He has changed my life.

2 He has touched the lives of millions.

3 He got me a ticket to ride in the TARDIS (and to straddle it).

4 He brought me face-to-face with Davros (still get chills).

5 He introduced me to ‘Sarah Jane’.

6 He introduced me to Catherine Tate.

61⁄2 And did I mention I got to be in, on and near the TARDIS?

Prometheus, the Greek god, stole fire from Zeus, gave it to humans, and allowed them to use it to establish civilization. Because, you know, it’s hard to invent the wheel, write poetry, make art, sing songs and dance when you can’t cook your dinner and your toes are numb. Because of Prometheus’s generosity – the whole bringing ‘light’ to humans thing – ordinary men and women back in the days of myths and stories considered him to be a pretty good god.

Unfortunately for Prometheus, Zeus was pissed at his disloyalty and his challenge to authority. Prometheus had to be punished. Poor Prometheus was chained to a big rock, where an eagle was sent to eat his liver.1 As if this wasn’t bad enough, because Prometheus was immortal, every day his liver regenerated and the eagle would swoop back and have another nosh.

As Captain Jack’s character has developed over the years, I think he’s becoming a twenty-first-century Prometheus, and in ‘Children of Earth’, the allusions and connections are even stronger. Both Prometheus and Jack are cunning, smart and immortal.

Before hard-core Woodies protest, yes, I know the debate. Technically, Jack is not immortal because he can die … he just doesn’t stay dead. He rises, and he resurrects, and I realize that this may make him more Christ-like than Promethean, but I think that’s quibbling. Plus, I think the darker, roguish qualities in Jack’s nature make him more rebel than angel; however, I wouldn’t rule out Russell T. Davies’s connotations of either in Jack’s make-up. After all, every culture from ancient times onwards has myths of men and women who sacrifice themselves for the good of others and then reappear, resurrect, or – like the Doctor – regenerate.

To continue: in one version of the myth, Prometheus is chained naked to a rock face. In ‘Children of Earth’, Jack is chained naked to a rock wall. This was a gruelling scene to film, mostly because, although I could struggle against the chains, I had to be held in one place.

I made sure I had some fun with these nude scenes too, though.2 Before the filming of series three began, Euros Lyn, the director, asked me if I would be okay getting naked on camera.3 If you’ve watched ‘Children of Earth’, you’ll know that Jack is naked for most of the sequence that begins in the military jail cell and ends in the quarry where Jack, with Ianto’s help, breaks out of his tomb.4

The scenes in the jail cell were filmed first, and a few days before we were due to begin, Ray Holman, Torchwood’s costume designer, asked me if I wanted a jock.5 As you may know, I have no issues about baring my bum, but I did think about it for a beat or two in deference to my colleagues and the crew. However, in part of the sequence, viewers would see Jack in all his glory from behind. Ray, Euros and I therefore decided that if I were to wear a flesh-coloured jock, the strap of the jock would need to be digitally altered in post-production, so as not to affect the aesthetic of the scene.6 So why bother? The three of us concluded it wasn’t worth the hassle, and I declined Ray’s offer.

(As it turned out, though, costume and I still had to do a little tucking on the day of the shoot, because when Jack rises from the ashes and faces Gwen, Ianto and Rhys, ‘my boys’ were clearly visible.)

The temperature on the day we were set to film was typical of the Cardiff climate: bloody cold. After the set designers did their initial prep work of the scene, they realized the problem I was going to have was with a different set of balls – the balls of my feet. The rocks were razor-sharp, and after Jack emerges from his tomb,7 he must walk barefoot towards Gwen, Ianto and Rhys.

While the cameras weren’t rolling, a strategically placed towel covered my bare bits. As far as Gareth, Kai Owen (who plays Rhys) and Eve were concerned, underneath that towel was a jock – worn to protect their innocent eyes when Jack rises up8 from the rubble and walks towards them.

Cameras roll. Sound runs. Action.

Jack climbs naked out of the rubble and walks towards his rescuers, who, if you watch the scene very carefully, are not just smiling broadly because they’re thrilled that Jack is back and in one complete piece, but because I failed to tell them9 that I had decided not to wear a jock. Their expressions are priceless, and they get even better when they try not to acknowledge that I have Always sanitary towels with trimmed wings stuck to the bottom of my feet.

The relationship between Jack and Ianto has grown over the series to become one of the strongest plot threads that you’ll see in any dramatic TV show, and I’m so proud to be part of it given that it’s between two men. In ‘Children of Earth’, the subplot and the banter surrounding Jack and Ianto’s couple status brought humour and pathos to the episodes. I particularly loved the fact that in ‘Children of Earth’, the writers presented viewers with two distinct relationships at different points in