The Bookshop of Second Chances by Jackie Fraser (best life changing books .TXT) 📕

‘June.’

‘Well, I missed it, then, didn’t I? Were you in? I mean, did you work?’

I nod. ‘Yeah, it was a Tuesday.’

‘You should have said.’ He frowns at me. ‘Why didn’t you?’

I shrug. ‘It was fine. We did have cake – I bought you a Belgian bun.’

‘We’ll have to do better for your next birthday.’ He’s still frowning. ‘D’you think you’ll still be here?’

‘Who knows? Perhaps.’

‘Open it then,’ he says, nodding at the packet. I pick it up – it weighs hardly anything. I tear off the wrapping and unwrap the dark blue tissue paper within. A tiny silver spoon, barely the length of my little finger. There isn’t room for three initials on the handle, but there’s an elegantly curly A.

‘Oh, that’s lovely.’ I look at him. ‘What is it? Coke spoon?’

He snorts. ‘No, it’s not a coke spoon. Jesus. It’s a salt spoon, I think, or a mustard spoon.’

‘It’s charming. Thank you.’

He’s turned away, stooping to look for something in one of the desk drawers. ‘You’re welcome.’

‘Please don’t buy me anything else though – I feel bad.’

‘You needn’t. I wasn’t looking for something to buy you – I just spotted it. I spend a lot of time poking about in the sort of place they have that kind of thing. And it didn’t cost much.’

‘That’s what you said last time.’

‘Ha, well, this was even cheaper. And older – it’s Georgian. 1801.’

‘How cheap? Was it less than twenty pounds?’

He nods. ‘Twelve quid.’

‘Oh, okay. That seems reasonable. Okay. Thanks. It’s lovely. Maybe I should start a spoon collection.’

‘Prepared to accept it then, are you?’

‘Yes. I’ve probably bought you twelve quid’s worth of buns, so, yes.’

‘Good.’

‘But seriously, don’t buy me anything else unless it’s Christmas, or–’

‘Why not?’

‘It isn’t seemly,’ I say primly.

He laughs. ‘I’d hate to be unseemly.’

‘Well, it isn’t, is it? It makes me feel…’

He’s looking at me intently. ‘Makes you feel what?’

‘I don’t know.’ I’m embarrassed, and stoop to push the spoon into the front pocket of my bag.

‘I thought everyone liked presents.’

‘Yes, but… that’s not the point.’

I’ve been thinking about whether I should go home. Not permanently – at least not yet – but to see Chris. I think I’m so far ‘out of sight, out of mind’ that he’s forgotten he’s meant to be remortgaging the house. I’m still paying my share, after all, as well as rent on my empty flat, and the fee for my storage unit. I don’t want to keep paying for Susanna to live in my house, it’s not fair. However childish that sounds. I’ve been worrying about it, and although I had an email from him yesterday where he reassured me that he’s in the process of sorting things out, he’s said that before and I still don’t have my hundred and fifty grand or whatever. I need to make some plans. Xanthe sent me a link for the developers who are building out on the coast road, back home. The flats look good, and I could live in one or rent it out, depending on what I decide to do. It would be good to have some income, even though I’m sure letting agencies are tiresome to deal with. The house is the next step in the process. Once that’s sorted, we just have to get divorced, and pretty soon it will only be a year before that can happen without us having to go to court.

Edward’s in an unnaturally good mood this morning; he even whistled while he was making coffee. Admittedly, it was ‘Famous Blue Raincoat’ he was whistling, rather than ‘Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows’, but nonetheless. It’s a week or so since his fight with Lara. He hasn’t mentioned it again; but then, why would he?

‘You’re perky,’ I say, holding out my mug so he can top it up with milk.

‘I doubt I’ve ever been perky.’

I laugh. It does seem unlikely. ‘Unnaturally chipper.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m in a good mood.’ He flashes a grin at me.

‘Any particular reason?’

‘Yes, actually. I’ve made some “life changes”. I think you’ll approve.’

I take my coffee back towards the front of the shop. ‘Will I?’

‘Mm. I’ve knocked it on the head. With Lara.’

‘Oh my God, have you?’ I turn back to look at him. ‘What brought that on?’

‘I’d been thinking about what you said. And about the way I haven’t had fun with Lara for… Well, maybe we never had fun. I can’t remember it ever being anything but a Godawful slog.’

‘Wow. I do approve. Not that it’s any of my business. But it did seem a bit pointless. What happened, then?’

‘I drove up there last night after work. Told her I couldn’t be bothered with it anymore.’

I close my eyes briefly. ‘Bloody hell. I don’t like the woman, but could you not have been even slightly tactful?’

He snorts. ‘Yeah, okay, I didn’t say it quite like that. I said it seemed like hard work, and I know it’s not working how she wants, and blah blah.’

‘What a gent. And?’

‘And she took it pretty well.’

‘No shouting?’

‘No, remarkably.’

‘Did you fuck her?’

‘Thea, you know sometimes you surprise me,’ he says, looking pained.

‘What?’ I take a swig of coffee. ‘I’m just interested. I mean, people do stuff like that, don’t they? Once more for old times’ sake and all that.’ I grin at him. ‘Even I’ve done that.’

‘No, I didn’t fuck her.’

‘Did you want to?’

‘No.’ He sighs. ‘You know that’s been part of the problem.’

‘What, that you didn’t want to–’

‘Things have been… unsatisfactory on that front for a while. For both of us.’

I’m pleased about this, even though it absolutely is none of my business. I’m not going to remotely consider examining my reaction. ‘I suppose there’s no point if you don’t like each other and you’re not even getting any.’

‘Quite.’

I’m on my own in the shop today, as I have been all week. I’ve been wrestling with pumpkins all morning, sorting out the window display for Halloween. Leaves from the Virginia creeper drifting down the wall and piled into heaps in the corners, some