Never Say Never by Rachael Sommers (books to get back into reading TXT) 📕

been a godsend during Jaime’s early years, and she knew already exactly how Camila worked and how insane her hours were. The thought of not having to interview a revolving door of candidates was a relief. “Can you come to my office later today to talk it over?”

“What time?”

And that was that. Eleanor was happy to come back to work for Camila and would probably have started that night, if she had asked her to.

She wasn’t ready to let go of Emily yet, though, so Eleanor would start the Monday Emily’s classes began. Camila would call her if she needed her sooner.

It was a relief knowing that Eleanor would be coming back—if anyone could pick up the reins after Emily, it was her, and the transition would be easier on Jaime with someone he already knew.

She just wished she could make the transition easier for herself.

Chapter 22

Camila was miserable during Emily’s last week, thinking of life without her.

It was awkward whenever they were in the room together, which meant Emily didn’t linger. She was quick to scurry away as soon as Camila arrived home. In less than a week, she wouldn’t even have this glimpse of her.

On the night before her last day, she skittered out the door as usual right after Camila came in. Camila peered into Jaime’s room—he was already fast asleep, his chest rising and falling steadily. She closed the door and padded into her study, dropping her head in her hands.

She wondered how long it would take for this ache to fade, how long until she could think of someone besides Emily. She tried to work but gave up after a few minutes, spinning her chair around to look at the city outside her window.

She reached for her phone, thought about calling Emily, wondering if she would answer and what Camila could say to heal things between them or if the damage was irreparable.

She ended up calling a different number.

“Miss me already?” Jenny picked up on the fifth ring, and Camila rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair and propping her feet up on the window ledge.

“Hardly,” but her voice lacked its usual bite, and Jenny picked up on it.

“Is everything all right?” Jenny asked.

Camila didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because she couldn’t remember the last time everything had been all right.

“I…I’ve made a horrible mistake.” It wasn’t easy for her to admit it, but Jenny was the one person who would understand.

“This is about the nanny, isn’t it?” Jenny asked. “You pushed her away because you have feelings for her, didn’t you?”

“I… How did you know that?”

“Because I know you, Camila.” Camila imagined the look of exasperation on her face. “I know you think that you don’t deserve to be happy. I know you’re convinced that you ruin everyone’s life, but I know you, Cam. You’re a good person, and you deserve to have someone, and if she makes you happy, maybe you should stop standing in your own way.”

“It’s too late,” Camila said. She shook her head and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. “I already pushed her away.”

“I’m sure the damage isn’t beyond repair.”

But Camila was sure that it was—the past few days had proved it.

“What did you do?”

Camila told her, and Jenny groaned. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Camila.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m sorry, but you are. You take the girl away to London, take her on a date—and don’t tell me it wasn’t a date because it clearly was—make out with her, then turn around and say, ‘Sorry, not interested.’”

“It was for the best.”

“Because she’s too young for you? Because she works for you? Because she’s too good for you?”

“Yes. All of the above.”

“Bullshit.” Jenny sounded angrier than Camila had heard in a long, long time. “God, that poor girl—you’ve given her all these mixed signals. If you care about her so much, don’t you think she deserves to know the truth? If you’re scared, tell her. If you don’t want a relationship, tell her why. If you think she’s too young for you, say it. If you don’t want to date an employee, let her decide if she’d rather have you or a job. If you think you’re going to wreck her, tell her why and let her decide whether that’s a risk she’s willing to take. Just… For God’s sake, just stop dancing around and being such a coward and tell her how you really fucking feel.”

Camila blinked, shocked at the outburst and at the fact that Jenny knew her so well, well enough to know why Camila had done what she did and to argue each and every single point. She hated that she might be right.

“I care about you, Cam,” Jenny continued, unapologetic, “and I want you to be happy. It sounds like she could make you happy, so just…think about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

She replayed Jenny’s words in her mind long after she hung up the phone. Her mind was spinning. She was shaken, hadn’t known what she was looking for when she called Jenny, and even now wasn’t sure if she had found it.

Was she stupid for letting Emily slip through her fingers? She wondered if she had done things differently, been honest with her from the start, where they would be now. Would Emily be here with her? And would that be so bad?

After tomorrow, Emily would no longer work for her. One of Camila’s excuses for why they shouldn’t be together would be gone. Could she let go of the other reasons and let Emily in?

If someone had asked a month ago, Camila’s answer would have been a resounding no. But now?

She wasn’t so sure anymore.

* * *

“I don’t want you to go.” Jaime’s eyes watered as he looked up at her. They were already red from crying earlier in the day.

“I know, buddy.” Emily’s throat was tight. She knelt in front of him.

“I’ll miss you.” His bottom lip quivered, and Emily pulled him into a fierce hug. Saying goodbye to him