Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

“He never loved me. How did I fall for that bullshit? I’m such an idiot.”

I finished off the drink and brought my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly as I lay on my side in the tub. My mind could no longer think. The sobbing took over and I cried until I couldn’t any longer. When the water turned cold and my eyes were dry, I stood up, swaying slightly.

“I’m not even tired. I just want to sleep!” I yelled. Everything made me crazy. Certifiable.

Wrapping in a towel again, I walked downstairs and mixed another drink, then grabbed the bottle of Benadryl, anxious to black out soon.

Once upstairs, I drained the tub and threw on a long t-shirt. Then, I held my nose and downed my drink in one swift motion. Making my way to the sink, I placed both hands on the counter and looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted with the person who looked back at me. I needed this to end. I needed everything to be over.

I filled my drink glass with water then popped open the pill bottle. Sleep was all I wanted—to wake up with a different heart and clear mind. Stumbling to the bed, I fell against it, darkness consuming me.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

They say that time heals all wounds, but I don’t think that’s entirely true. Time simply teaches us how to live with the pain. I’d never felt love like I did with Gage, and that’s how I knew it was real. It was unexplainable, and when you feel it, you know. I didn’t see how all the time in the world could ever cure the ache in my soul.

Maybe it was the fact that I was lonely. Maybe it was because we were in similar situations and all of our conversations aligned perfectly. Maybe it was his charm that pulled me in and captivated me in a way I’d never felt before. Something about him sent my heart into overdrive and I believed him when he told me he loved me. I’d never been more wrong about someone in my life. The sting of my husband’s affair didn’t hurt me as much as losing Gage. I loved him, and he lied to me, nor were my feelings reciprocated. He said he loved me, and maybe he thought he did, but he couldn’t have. He’d never know just how much he destroyed me.

Melinda was right. I should have never involved myself in such a stupid situation. It was a mistake I’d regret for the rest of my life. Could I ever be forgiven for my discretions?

These were thoughts that played over in my mind repeatedly. I’d been stuck in a dream, but it felt like a nightmare. All I wanted was to awake with a newfound hope, but it was like I was falling into a black hole with no escape.

Eventually, my eyelids opened slowly and a beeping monitor startled my attention. An IV was placed in my arm and both of my hands were restrained to the bed, ceasing any movement. I was in the hospital, and I was locked down. My eyes roamed the room frantically, looking for someone, anyone to tell me what was going on.

A few moments later, the door creaked open and Melinda stepped into the room. I let out a sigh of relief at the familiar face.

“Oh my gosh, you’re awake!” she said, rushing to my side. She wrapped her arms around my neck, but I was unable to hug her back. “I know I need to go get the nurse, but I want to talk to you for a minute.”

“Mel, what’s going on? Why am in the hospital? And why are my arms tied down?”

“Abby…do you remember anything from last night?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You tried to kill yourself…why would you do that?”

My eyes grew wide. “WHAT? Do you hear yourself right now? I would never try to kill myself, Melinda. Are YOU okay?”

“Ab, you need to tell me everything that happened yesterday evening, or the doctor is going to send you to the crazy house.”

I let out a deep breath, not wanting to relive the details of my night, but I had no choice. I needed to know how falling asleep sent me to the hospital, and why these people thought I was suicidal.

“I got home, did laundry, and picked up the house. I was exhausted, so I was going to have a drink and a bubble bath. As I was getting ready for my bath, I got an e-mail from Gage…breaking up with me. I did lose it a little. I was sad. I was mad. I was hurt. I had my own little psycho pity-party, but it was fine. I had a few drinks, and took my bath. I still couldn’t fall asleep, so I took a Benadryl. I know I probably shouldn’t have…with the alcohol, but I just wanted to go to sleep and I knew that would do the trick. That’s it, Mel.”

She sat quiet for a moment before she responded. “You may think that’s how it went, Abby, but my version is a little different.”

“Your version? Melinda, spit it out. What are you talking about?”

“I’d been texting you, seeing if you wanted to come over for dinner, and I wasn’t getting any responses. You hadn’t even read my messages. Finally, it was a little after ten, and I was worried about you because I knew you should have been home and I hadn’t heard a word from you. I drove over to your house and used my key to let myself in. I went up to your room and found you passed out on the bed. There were two candles lit in the bathroom, a broken glass, and your medicine bottle in the sink with