Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

only one pill left in it. I picked up the bottle and noticed you weren’t due for a refill for another three weeks. That bottle should have been close to full. Abby, I assumed you had tried to kill yourself. I thought maybe everything with Marcus and Gage had gotten to you and you couldn’t handle it anymore. I’ve never been more scared in my life. I thought I was going to lose you.” She grabbed my hand as tears rolled down her face.

A tear escaped me too and I let out another breath slowly, willing myself not to burst. This is what my life had become.

“Medicine bottle? I only have one prescription. That’s my depression meds.”

“Yes. That’s what was in the sink.”

“I didn’t take those, though. I took a Benadryl.”

“No, you didn’t, Abby. I don’t know how many, but you took your prescription. I guess the alcohol clouded your mind. You were passed out and I couldn’t wake you up. That’s when I called 911.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “How did I do that? Was I that far gone?”

“I don’t know. I wish you would have called me. I would have been there for you, Abby.”

“I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know what to do. Melinda, my mind is so fucked up. Something’s got to give. I have to do something. I can’t go on like this.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I don’t know, but something. First things first, I want out of here.” I said.

“I’ll go get the nurse,” she said, standing.

At that moment, the door opened again and Marcus appeared with a look of perplexity on his face. My eyes jumped again.

“You called him?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I’ll let you two talk.” She said quickly, rushing out of the room.

“Are you okay?” he asked timidly.

“I’m fine.”

“Obviously not, if you tried to kill yourself and you’re in the hospital.” He said. He walked to the green chair that was beside my bed and sat down.

“It was a misunderstanding, Marcus. I would never try to kill myself.”

“Then what the hell is going on, Abby?”

“I want a divorce.” I said. I let the words fall out before I had a moment to think about them. This wasn’t the time or place I expected for our conversation, but it was now or never.

“What?”

“You heard me, Marcus. I want a divorce.”

“Where is this coming from? Maybe you really do need to be sent to that nuthouse.” He scoffed.

“Shut the fuck up! I’m only crazy because you made me this way! I know about the affair, Marcus. I’ve known for over a year!”

“Affair? Ab, what are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid. I know. It’s done! It’s over! I know about Katie, and I’m sure she’s not the only one. I literally have proof. I have pictures and I’ve heard phone conversations.”

“Abby…”

“Don’t, Marcus. Just don’t. You know, I don’t even care. I’m not going to fight you on anything, I just want out. Let us divorce in peace and move on.”

He sat quietly, unable to form words. It was the first time I’d ever seen him at a loss.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“No, you’re not.” I rolled my eyes. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have continued it for this long. All I want to know is…why? Was I not enough for you? Was my anxiety and depression too much for you? Why didn’t you end things with me first? Just why?”

“Honestly, Abby…I don’t know. I don’t have any answers to give.”

“I figured you wouldn’t. Do whatever you have to do to get someone to draw us up some papers, and I want this done.”

“Okay.”

And just like that, he agreed.

Lowering my tone, I spoke again. “Really, Marcus, why didn’t you end things? We’ve both known for a while that things between us were dead.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Your betrayal hurts worse than an honest divorce.” I said. It sounded good, but it was a partial lie. The only hurt I felt right now was losing Gage. I’d already come to terms with my marriage.

“I know. I was stupid.”

“It is what it is.” I said.

“Do you want me to move out?”

“The house is only in your name, Marcus. Keep it. I don’t want it. Just allow me to take what I want out of it, and we’ll be fine.”

“Take whatever you want.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll also go to the bank Monday and get you a Cashier’s Check for half of the savings.”

“Don’t do that. I don’t want your money. I have a job now, remember.”

“We were together for a long time, Abby. I know I built the savings account, but technically, half is yours. I owe it to you. It’s the least I can do for all the hell I’ve caused.”

He was right about that, and honestly, I really didn’t want his dirty money, but I’d take it. It wouldn’t hurt me, that was for sure.

Our conversation turned, and I never revealed to Marcus why I was in the hospital. He didn’t even ask. I left it at a “misunderstanding.” When he stood and walked out of the room, his eyes looked sad, but I wasn’t sure if it was legit, or just another deception.

This wasn’t how I imagined my life going. It was a thought that crossed my mind daily. Although I wasn’t the initiator in the downfall of my marriage, I’d made a mistake that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. It was one I’d never forgive myself for. I’d never understand why I allowed Gage in my life. That part was on me. My heart was shattered, but being free of my marriage gave me a little room to breathe. I’d