The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

I laughed.  “I can keep a secret.”  Oh, gravy.  I felt that terrible clench in my stomach again, because I was keeping another secret from Ben: the secret that I was an adulterer like his wife.  “Ben, I should…I have…”  I should tell him.  I had to tell him.

But he had bent to put his face near my neck.  “What perfume is this?”

“I don’t wear perfume.”  I felt his nose brush against my ear and his breath against my skin.

“You smell so good.  Sometimes I can smell it in the house, too.  Like a flower.”

“Oh, it’s just soap…”  He was definitely nuzzling me now.  His lips whispered down my neck and kissed the hollow of my collarbone.  “It’s this gardenia stuff but it’s expensive so I only use a little…Ben?”

“Gaby.”  He pulled me against his chest and cupped his other hand around my cheek, tilting my face to look me in the eyes.  I watched his get closer and flutter closed as he kissed me, just once, just softly.  He pulled away a little but I put my own hand at the nape of his neck to draw him back.  So he kissed me again, deeper, his tongue now touching mine and my breath catching somewhere in my throat.  It seemed to go on and on, just kissing and holding each other there on the beach beneath the big moon that had risen over the lake.

“We should go in,” he murmured.  But his mouth was on my neck again, and I felt his teeth gently nip my ear.  He moved my head to give himself better access to the other side, and I couldn’t help a little moan.  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like this, if I ever had before.  Like my skin was barely holding me together.  Like I wanted to shove him onto his back in the sand and rip off his clothes and put my hands and my lips and my tongue—

“Gaby?” a faraway voice called from the direction of the house.  “Ben?”

“We should go back in.”

“Yes,” I mumbled, pushing my mouth back to his.  “Sorry, yes,” I sighed, and pulled away.  “Yes, let’s go to the house.”

“It’s cold water, right?” he asked me, pointing to Lake Michigan.

“You haven’t felt it yet?  Yes, very cold!”

“Great.  I’ll be right back.”  He waded right up to his knees and then dunked his head as I watched with my mouth hanging open.  “I needed to cool down,” Ben explained when he came up the beach to where I sat.

He reached and pulled me to my feet, and like I usually did, I put my weight on my left side.  “Walking in the sand is a little difficult,” I admitted.  “I’m still not totally steady on this particular surface.”

“That’s fine,” Ben remarked.  “I’m happy to help.”  And he picked me up, holding me to his chest.  My arms immediately went around his neck and I remembered the last time he’d carried me, when I’d tried to keep myself stiff and away from his body.  This time, I couldn’t help myself from snuggling right in, close enough to kiss away the water droplets from the soft skin under his chin and around his ear.  I shouldn’t have, and I knew it.  I shouldn’t have had my lips anywhere near Ben Matthews, not with my history and with his, not with the fact that as a Woodsmen employee, I was supposed to stay away.  With him as my boss, it was just a bad idea.  And not with him vowing that he didn’t ever want to get married again, or even date, and I had just figured out that I wanted those things for myself.

But I kept kissing him because I couldn’t help it.  I couldn’t help how I felt about Ben.

“Honey, you’re undoing the calming effects of that cold water.”  He stopped on the path.  “Do you want to come over?  I mean, come back to my house, later tonight?”

My mouth went so dry that I couldn’t swallow.  I certainly couldn’t speak to say yes, but I tilted my chin up and down and nodded.  I saw Ben’s white teeth flash as he smiled in the light from the big moon that filtered through the pine trees.  I did want to, and gravy, this was probably another bad idea.  But he bent to kiss me and—

“Gaby?” Hallie called, and she barreled around from behind one of the trees and directly into me and Ben, nearly sending all of us over.  “Oh, there you are!  Tessa wanted you.”

“I’m coming,” Ben answered.  “But I may need to go into the lake again, first.”

“No, I mean she was asking for Gaby,” Hallie explained.  “Something happened to one of her braids, and apparently only you can fix it,” she told me, and laughed.  “Tessa is so cute.  We’ve all been playing and Gunnar just said to me that he hopes that we’ll have a—”  She stopped mid-sentence.  “Nothing,” she finished.  “Nothing!  Just come on back to the house.”  She turned and took off toward their deck.

“Hallie!  Hallie Holliday, stop right there!” I hollered.  “Ben, go!  I think she just admitted that she’s having a baby.  Catch her!”  I kicked my good leg in the air, urging him into forward progress.  “Run!  Now!” I demanded.  He started laughing and neighing like he was a horse, but we did head off in hot pursuit.  And I got a wonderful present, which was that I was going to be an aunt again, and Marley found out that she was going to be a big sister.  We celebrated with another slice of the birthday cake and Ben fed me a bite.  It was delicious.

∞

I tried to take my own advice.  Hadn’t I told Marley to stop staring in the mirror, that Cavin had liked her when she’d come to school in her grubbiest clothes and with her teeth unbrushed?  Well, I was definitely not forgoing my oral hygiene, but I tried