The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

gave up what you wanted for that,” she said, shaking her head.  “Not worth it!  Anyway, I think you secretly understood that it wasn’t really going to work with Shep.”  Hallie said his name like it was a swear.  “You wouldn’t admit it to yourself, but I think you did know, even if you kept telling me that he would get a divorce and you two would end up together and happy.”

I nodded.  That was true, I supposed.  I’d had a lot of faith at first, but in the end…  “When he broke up with me, I was such a wreck.  But in a way, I was relieved.  At least the lying was over.”  Even if the guilt wasn’t.

Hallie nodded.  She had been very relieved and happy when Shep had dumped me, too.  “If you still want a marriage and kids, why don’t you focus on that, now that you’re free?”  She smacked my laptop with her palm.  “And rather than trying to start something that you’re not very interested in and that would take up almost all your time, why don’t you look for a job that you like?  Something you’d enjoy, but that wouldn’t be all-consuming, like running your own business can be.”

But everyone would be so disappointed.  I thought of my mom, reminding me again about Anthony’s success.  “Maybe.”

“And start getting out on the market to meet a guy, rather than staying in to answer those calls almost every night.  Why not?” Hallie asked, smiling a little.  “Why can’t you do that?”

I nodded a little, but no.  Now it was too late, because I had already done it again and made the wrong choice, a choice that was bound to make me unhappy.  Now I was in love with someone else off-limits because he worked for the Woodsmen.  Someone inappropriate because he was my boss, someone unattainable because he had told me, flat-out, that he would never get married again.  He didn’t even want to date.

“Maybe,” I repeated, trying to smile but having a very hard time.

“Good.  I’ll stop bothering you about this,” she said, and patted the laptop more gently, “and start bothering you about finding another job.  Um, you’re for sure coming tonight for dinner at our house, right?”

I looked at her, feeling a tinge of suspicion.  “Yes.  Why?”

“Hallie, Gunnar is saying that you guys met when you threw a rock and hit him,” Marley called from the children’s section.  “Is that true?  I don’t believe it, because I’ve seen your aim.”  So I didn’t find out what Hallie was up to until I got to her house that night, and saw the big banner stretched across the front door saying, “Happy Birthday!”

I stared at it and considered staying in the car.

That door swung open.  “Happy birthday!” Hallie yelled as she came out onto the porch.  “Did you think that I’d forgotten?”

I’d hoped so.  “Hi,” I said, and put on my smile, because she was obviously so excited about this.  “You really didn’t have to, Hal.”

“I wanted to!  You made my birthday so fun last summer when I was so sad about my dad, and I wanted to reciprocate.  Come on in.”

I walked up to the door a little warily and looked around her big living room.  “You didn’t invite other people, though, right?” I asked, and her guilty face was all the answer I needed to that question.  “Who?”

“Cavin’s here!” Marley yelled, and pelted past us to throw open the front door again.  I remembered my mom’s rules for me about boys when I had been in high school: I had to make them come to me, I was supposed to act as if I didn’t like them even if I really did, I needed to pretend I had other plans when they asked me out.  Marley stood at the front door and waved eagerly to this boy, who practically ran up onto the porch to meet her.  They both had grins about as big as their heads.  No, she didn’t live by those rules at all.

Cavin was a nice kid.  He told me very formally that it was a pleasure to meet me, but as a little time wore on, he relaxed and started teasing Marley just like she teased him.  Hallie caught my eye over where they were sitting together at the kitchen island and smiled at me, and I nodded back.  This was good.  I started to relax, because at least we were going to focus on Cavin instead of my stupid birthday for the night.

Then someone else rang the doorbell.

“I wonder who that could be,” Marley remarked loudly.  “Hallie, who could possibly be at the door in this utterly surprising way?”

Hallie glared at her.  “I’ll get it.”  And when she came back into the kitchen, Ben and Tessa were right behind her.

“Happy birthday!” Tessa said when she saw me, so much louder than I’d ever heard her speak in front of strangers.  She ran to hug me and I picked her up.  “Now you can have a birthday party just like mine!”

“Yay,” I answered, trying to sound excited.  “Hi, Ben.”  I turned to stare at Hallie, who looked at the ceiling very innocently.

“I tried to tell her not to stick her nose into stuff,” Marley said.  “She doesn’t listen at all when she loves you a lot.”

“I listen!” Hallie answered.  “But then I still do what I think is best.  I think this could be the best,” she said, looking meaningfully between me and Ben.  “It is because I love you, Gaby.”  I nodded, knowing that was true.  But also, I still wanted to kill her, both for making a big deal out of a day that wasn’t one, and for inviting the one person who I was trying to keep out of my mind.

Ben looked back and forth between us.  “Happy birthday,” he told me.  “You didn’t mention that it was a special day when you were over at the house.”

No, because I had been trying to pretend that