Not Pretending Anymore by Ward, Penelope (big ebook reader .TXT) 📕

God, this sucked. But I owed Julia the truth. “I guess it happened over time, while I was living here. It was slow, but then it sort of hit me all at once.”

She shook her head. “So you’re telling me while we were hooking up, you were falling in love with another woman?”

It sounded awful when she said it like that, but it was also the truth. I hung my head and let her get it out. She had every right.

Julia raised her voice. “I broke up with my boyfriend for you!”

“I’m sorry. I liked you. I really did. This thing with Molly—it was very unexpected.”

“You know what else wasn’t expected?”

She stood, pulled her pocketbook onto her shoulder, and took two steps to my side of the booth. Then she picked up the large glass of ice water the waitress had left and dumped the entire thing onto my lap before storming out.

Well, that went well.

***

The next morning, I woke with a bad feeling in my gut. I still hadn’t heard from Molly, even though I’d sent a second text last night. Again she’d read my message, but hadn’t responded. I started to get worried, so I’d followed up with a call. But that went straight to voicemail. It wasn’t a good sign when the woman you flew into town to profess your love to wouldn’t even text or call you back.

Though, for some reason, being back in Chicago had a surprising effect on me. I’d started to feel surer than ever that I needed to come clean with Molly and put my heart on the line. So rather than send a third text that would keep me staring at my phone all day, I decided to go find her.

Molly’s normal shift ended at seven, so I went to the hospital and waited out front. A slew of people dressed in scrubs walked in and out, but there was no sign of the woman I’d come to see. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed a familiar face come through the door.

“Emma?” I called.

Her brows pulled together for a second before she recognized me. “Declan, right?”

I nodded and walked toward her. “Yeah. How you doing?”

Emma had been walking with another nurse, and she turned and told her she’d see her tomorrow.

“What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Are you visiting someone?”

I shook my head. “I’m actually looking for Molly. Did you happen to see her today? I’m not sure if she’s working or not.”

Emma frowned. “She wasn’t on last night. Though I saw her name on the schedule earlier in the week, so I asked our supervisor. She said Molly had requested a few days off.”

“Oh? Is she okay?”

Emma looked at me with what could only be described as pity. “Yeah, I texted her to check in and ask if everything was alright. She said she went out of town for a few days—a mini vacation of some sort, I guess.”

“Out of town? Did she say where?”

Emma shook her head. “We were really busy last night, so I didn’t get a chance to text back. Once I knew she was okay, I figured I’d check in with her when I got off today.”

Well, this news sucked, but I guess that’s what I got for showing up unannounced. “Thanks, Emma.”

“Do you want me to let Molly know you’re looking for her when I text her later?”

It dawned on me that Molly had found time to text her friend back, but not me. My theory that she was busy went flying out the window.

“No, it’s okay. Thanks.”

“Alright. You take care, Declan.”

She turned away, but I needed to know one more thing. “Emma?”

She turned back.

“Did you happen to see Will Daniels on tonight?”

She frowned again. “No, he wasn’t on either. Sorry.”

After that, I wasn’t quite ready to go to the office. I decided to take a ride out to the lake. When I got there, I sat on the concrete wall that ran along the sand and looked out at the water.

Where was I going from here? Back to California? It was screwed up, but the place where I’d lived my entire life no longer felt like home. I used to think home was where all of my shit was stored. But now, home felt more like where my heart resided. And that was in Chicago with Molly. Leaving here would be leaving it behind. I couldn’t imagine ever having another use for it, so maybe it didn’t matter where the hell I left it.

I wound up sitting on that wall for hours. I didn’t even call or text Julia to let her know I would be late to the office. I doubted she was anxiously waiting for me to show up anyway, unless perhaps there was another glass of ice water nearby. At noon, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was the first time in the last few days I hadn’t gotten that rush of excitement, thinking it might be Molly. Because now I knew she was most likely away with Will. Nevertheless, I dug out my cell.

Belinda’s name flashed on the screen. I debated not answering, because what was I going to tell her? That I’d waited too long and failed? I hated to disappoint yet another person. But before I could decide, it stopped ringing. A moment later, it started to ring again, and the same name flashed on the screen.

So I took a deep breath and swiped to answer.

“Hey, Belinda.”

“Where the hell are you, cowboy?”

“I’m in Chicago, down by the lake.”

“Well, I just opened up for the day, and guess what? A gorgeous woman was my first customer. Little thing made my heart do a pitter-patter.”

I smiled. “That’s great, Belinda.”

“It sure is. Beautiful woman walks into a lesbian bar and smiles at me. I was thinking this was my lucky day. So you know what I did?”

“What?”

“I hit on her. Used one of my best, tried-and-true lines.”

“Good for you.”

“Not really.”

“How come?”

“Because this