Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

I’m an asshole and this is the only woman who makes me feel so many fucking emotions, I can’t stop the shit that comes out of my mouth.

“So you let me fuck you when you’re pregnant with another man’s baby but you won’t stop and talk to me without backing up?” I snap. She looks at me like I just slapped her and she takes a deep breath. I should stop talking, but it’s too fucking late. I’m hurting and I want her to feel what I feel so I continue hurting her with my words.

“Does he fuck you good the way that I just did?” I taunt. Her face is turning red and I know I’m hurting her. “Are you that fucking mad at me that you begged me to fuck you, when you could’ve left with him and let him fuck you” I snap again. “I mean, you’re carrying his baby and you just fucking allowed me to fuck that pussy.”

“Eli stop,” she whispers.

“Does he know that you cheat on him? I hurt you that bad that you’re doing the same shit Michael did to you? I thought you were better than that.” I know I’m digging myself a deeper hole but I can’t stop myself. I chuckle and say “You’re just another Becca, and I hope you’re happy with yourself.”

Tears are running down her beautiful face and I can’t get myself to give a fuck. I’m so blinded by my own emotions that I don’t care how she gets home anymore. I don’t care about how her family will feel about me, I just don't want anything to do with her anymore. She’s crying and I don’t feel anything. I need to get over her so I say, “Get the fuck out of my house, and have a good life just as long as you’re not in mine.”

The look on her face is gut wrenching. Do I feel bad that I didn’t keep my promise from hurting her again? Absolutely! Do I regret falling in love with her? Not at all. Am I sorry that I know in my heart that I just hurt her again? I don’t give a fuck because I am done with her. She opens the door and I see that it’s started raining outside, but it doesn’t deter her and she leaves without saying a word. I expect her to slam the door behind her, but she doesn’t. The door closes softly and I feel sick to my stomach.

But I don’t give a shit because like I said, I am fucking done.

Chapter Forty

Sina

It's raining hard outside but I didn’t want to be in his house anymore. So, I walked out and didn’t stop. I didn’t have anything on me, and I wasn’t going to ask him for any help. It wasn’t a far walk from his place to Mama’s so I just kept walking. I’m not sure how long I’ve been walking for but it’s starting to get a little cold. My feet are swelling up and I’m hungry. I pray that I’m not going to get sick because I don’t have time for that. I feel my son kick, and I stop walking because I need to catch my breath. I stand there with both hands on my belly and feel baby Elijah move again. I have so much going on in my head that I can’t stop myself from crying. Everything starts to crash down around me and I feel overwhelmed and heavy with emotion. I was about to tell Eli that I was carrying his son, but then his whole face changed and I don’t know what made him so angry. One minute he’s inside of me and the next minute he’s telling me that he hates me and throwing me out of his house.

My chest feels tight and all I want to do right now is be in bed and cry myself to sleep. When I found out that I was pregnant the first thing I wanted to do was call him and tell him that I was carrying his baby, but I didn’t want to add anymore on top of his plate. He had every right to know. There’s no excuse, but because I thought Becca was pregnant with his baby, and I didn’t want to be the reason why they couldn’t be a family. It still didn’t make it right that I didn’t tell Eli.

I’m still shocked that Becca is carrying my brother’s baby and not Eli’s, but that’s for another day. I didn’t keep it from him because I hated him, I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Am I sorry that I didn’t tell him? Of course I am. Would I change anything if I had the chance? Absolutely not! Did he hurt me with his words? His words broke the parts of my spirit that I had left.

It feels like I’ve been walking for hours. My feet are killing me and I’m exhausted. A little piece of me hoped that Eli would come after me but he doesn’t. I need to stop and rest, but I can’t because I need to get home. I don’t want anyone, especially Emma to worry about me. I’m walking along thinking about the clusterfuck that is my life right now when I feel a sharp pain rip across my stomach. I stop and try catching my breath, but the pain is so bad that I can’t think straight. I cradle my belly in my arms as another pain tears through me. I bent to sit down on the side of the road and noticed the blood running down my legs.

“No, no, no” I cry. The pain gets stronger and all I can do is try to breathe through each wave as it crashes over me. “Please baby don’t leave me” I cry trying to force my body to obey my wishes and for the