The Truth According to Ginny Moon by Benjamin Ludwig (books to read for self improvement txt) 📕

drops of milk on the plastic and all of my things are wet. The milk jug is broken. It has a big crack in it. I’m guessing the milk is what made everything wet even though nothing turned white.

Which means I don’t have any milk for my Baby Doll.

Then I remember how big it is and that it is not one year old.

I want to cry but I need to be a tough cookie. I want Gloria to come back in her car so I can say I’m sorry for making her mad. And I want to tell Krystal with a K that I’m okay with her being the Other Ginny and replacing me. I will say anything if Gloria will take me back and take me up to Canada with her. Because I need to belong somewhere and where I am isn’t anywhere at all.

But deep in my brain I know that I don’t want any of those things. I just want to be safe now.

I need to put the broken milk jug in a garbage can because it’s a rule that We do not litter but I don’t see a garbage can. I am still standing next to the big glass window. There is a lady on the other side of it. Looking at me. She is wearing an apron and has a tray in her hands with cups and mugs on it. She looks at me and puts one of her hands in the air and scrunches her face like she is confused and moves her mouth. So I say to her, “Don’t you know I can’t hear you? You’re on the other side of the window.”

She looks behind her and then looks back at me again. She makes a funny face and she starts talking.

So I say, “Don’t you understand me? I can’t hear you!”

Then the lady puts her tray down on a table and walks away. I’m guessing she had to go to the bathroom.

I’m still hungry and cold but I need to find a garbage can to put the milk jug in. My jeans are sticking to me because they’re wet and my legs and bottom are getting colder and colder. But there aren’t any garbage cans anywhere. There was one near the police car but I don’t want to go back there. I look down the street again and look across the street and then someone says, “Are you all right? Do you need help?”

I turn around. It is the lady from the window. She is on this side of it now. She is holding her arms like she is cold.

So I say, “Yes, I need help.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I broke the milk and my pants are wet,” I say. “Plus I have no place to live.” I’m hoping she will give me a nice warm place to stay.

The lady makes another funny face and says, “Are you hurt? Are you feeling all right?”

But that is two questions at once so I don’t say anything.

“Listen,” says the lady, “it’s really cold out here. Why don’t you come inside and we can talk? There’s a phone, if you need to call someone.”

But I don’t know who to call because my Baby Doll is six years old and I told Gloria I didn’t want to go with her and if I go back to the Blue House then Maura and Brian might make me live at Saint Genevieve’s Home for Girls Who Aren’t Safe. I don’t belong anywhere and I am not happy about it.

The lady is saying something else now but I can’t hear her. Because I’m still thinking. Then behind her I see a police officer walk out of the door she came out of.

So I run.

I run to a crosswalk. I run straight across as fast as I can without looking. I keep running and running. I run past stores and buildings. Then behind one building I see a Dumpster.

A Dumpster is like a big garbage can except you throw big things in it like old couches or broken chairs. The Dumpster is next to a brick wall. I run to the Dumpster and stop. I know that I need to put litter in its place so I throw the broken milk jug over the top. It is like scoring a basket at Special Olympics. Only there’s no one here to cheer. There are no people here at all. I look around to see if I can find someplace to sit down or get warm. There’s a fence across from the Dumpster and through the fence I see a big open space with weeds and dirt and snow and some garbage blowing around. And more buildings on the other side of the open space. There are no trees like there are at the Blue House. And at the Blue House there aren’t any train tracks.

I stand at the fence for a long time. I see a seagull flying. I hear a police siren far away. I wonder if the police officer saw me and is on his way. Then I hear another noise. A rumbling sound. It doesn’t go away like other noises do. It is getting closer. Then I hear a horn that is not a car horn. It is a train horn and it is long and loud and coming faster and faster.

The train tracks are right in front of me on the other side of the fence. The train is coming too fast and there is nowhere for me to go. I run back to the Dumpster and climb behind it and press my body against the brick wall of the building and cover my head with my hands. The train is coming closer and closer and it is getting so loud that I want to kick and yell but there is nowhere to move because I’m in a small tight place. Then the train is here and it is so loud that I recoil and throw myself backward. I hit