The Truth According to Ginny Moon by Benjamin Ludwig (books to read for self improvement txt) 📕

“You want me to stop trying to run away.”

“What else?”

“You want me to stay with Brian and Maura.”

“Exactly,” says Patrice. “But I think it might be a good idea to start calling them your Forever Parents again. And like I just said, no more stealing. You’ve made quite a reputation for yourself at school. As it is, the parents of the kids whose phones you took have agreed to let the matter drop, but you’re going to have to work hard to earn everyone’s trust back. And the two of us are going to have to keep seeing each other for a long, long time. We need to keep you safe, young lady. All of us care a lot about you. We need to make sure that you’re always in a safe place.”

I know that if I stay at the Blue House I’ll be in a safe place but it still isn’t right. I pick hard at my fingers. Tears come out of my eyes now and I start breathing faster. “I want to live with my Baby Doll,” I say. “I’m okay with Krystal being my Baby Doll. I’m okay if she turned into the Other Ginny.”

“It’s okay to be upset,” says Patrice. “But none of those things are true. Krystal with a K isn’t the Other Ginny, and she’s never going to be a baby again. As long as you understand those things, it’s okay to be upset. You have every right to be. But you have to stop stealing, and you can’t sneak around anymore. Now, will you please let go of Agamemnon? He’s going to get mad if you keep grabbing his fur like that.”

Then something jumps in my face.

I yell and wave my arms. It is Agamemnon. He hits my face with his paws so fast that I can’t even count. He makes another loud noise and is gone.

“See?” said Patrice. “Agamemnon doesn’t like it when you squeeze him so hard. It hurts him, but he doesn’t know how to ask for help. So sometimes he just lashes out and surprises us. When you’re hurting or angry about something, you need to learn how to ask for help, too. I can see that you’ve been hurting a lot, Ginny. Now, let’s start by promising that we’ll stop stealing.”

I nod my head yes because there’s no reason to steal if I’m stuck here in the Aftermath.

“Good,” says Patrice. She looks at the clock. “We have a little time left. Let’s start writing those letters of apology that we talked about earlier. I’ve got some paper right here. And then I think we’ll be ready for me to have that chat with Maura.”

EXACTLY 11:07,

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26TH

I am asleep in bed but my eyes are awake. They are as open and as green as the numbers on my alarm clock.

When you run away the police always find you. If you try to fight they pick you up and put you in their car and take you to the hospital. After that the family you lived with comes to bring you home.

But there are times when you don’t run away and the police still come. To your house. If you try to fight they still pick you up and bring you to the hospital but then the family you lived with doesn’t come. They don’t come to take you back. Instead a social worker comes. She brings you somewhere new.

That was what happened before.

I ran away two times from Samantha and Bill before I pooped on Morgan’s rug which was when the police came to take me away. Because I didn’t want to live there anymore. I was really tired of Morgan. She was tedious.

And before that the police came to take me out of Carla and Mike’s house. That was because of Snowball. I felt bad afterward and kept saying, “Please, please come alive again,” but I was too late. And when you hide a dead cat you should never put it under your mattress. People will go in your room and say, “What the hell is that bump in your bed, Ginny? What the hell is that bump!”

So if you want to leave a house forever it’s pretty easy. You just have to do something bad. It doesn’t even have to be on purpose.

But it can be.

Because I don’t belong here. I belong on the other side of Forever where I’m still nine years old and everything adds up. Not here in the Aftermath. There’s no place for (-Ginny) in the Aftermath at all. She doesn’t fit in the equation or the sentence and the minus sign means she’s supposed to be subtracted. I know that I drive everyone bat-shit crazy. I see the funny way they look at me when I talk. I’m just a cave girl who doesn’t belong. I can’t do anything right and can barely keep my mouth closed. I can’t take care of anyone so I just don’t belong unless it’s in a cave or like Bubbles in a zoo.

So I’m going to make the police come. If I do something really, really bad they’ll come put me in jail. Because jail is like a cage at the zoo. Jail is for people who need to be away from everyone. If I can’t be who I used to be and my Baby Doll doesn’t need me then I’m guessing I shouldn’t be anywhere except behind bars. Because (-Ginny) isn’t even a person. She is like an animal or a ghost or a scary, scary statue.

Which means tomorrow I’m going to make Brian and Maura Moon wish they let me get a cat.

EXACTLY 4:35 IN THE AFTERNOON,

THURSDAY, JANUARY 27TH

Maura is on the couch holding Baby Wendy. She just finished breast-feeding it.

I am sitting on the floor. I just finished watching.

Because there are three things that Patrice asked Maura to let me do now that everyone thinks I’m staying at the Blue House. The first is