Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

exempted from these burdens—who have our food put into our

mouths, as they say, and live at our ease—may think, because we

give ourselves a little more to prayer, that we are raised above

the necessity of such great hardships. Blessed be Thou, O Lord,

who hast made me so incapable and so useless; but I bless Thee

still more for this—that Thou quickenest so many to quicken us.

Our prayer must therefore be very earnest for those who give us

light. What should we be without them in the midst of these

violent storms which now disturb the Church? If some have

fallen, the good will shine more and more. [13] May it please

our Lord to hold them in His hand, and help them, that they may

help us.

31. I have gone far away from the subject I began to speak of;

but all is to the purpose for those who are beginners, that they

may begin a journey which is so high in such a way as that they

shall go on by the right road. Coming back, then, to what I

spoke of before, [14] the meditation on Christ bound to the

pillar, it is well we should make reflections for a time, and

consider the sufferings He there endured, for whom He endured

them, who He is who endured them, and the love with which He bore

them. But a person should not always fatigue himself in making

these reflections, but rather let him remain there with Christ,

in the silence of the understanding.

32. If he is able, let him employ himself in looking upon Christ,

who is looking upon him; let him accompany Him, and make his

petitions to Him; let him humble himself, and delight himself in

Christ, and keep in mind that he never deserved to be there.

When he shall be able to do this, though it may be in the

beginning of his prayer, he will find great advantage; and this

way of prayer brings great advantages with it—at least, so my

soul has found it. I do not know whether I am describing it

aright; you, my father, will see to it. May our Lord grant me to

please Him rightly for ever! Amen.

1. Ch. xi. § 24.

2. Philipp. iv. 13; “Omnia possum in Eo.”

3. Confess. x. ch. 29: “Da quod jubes, et jube quod vis.”

4. St. Matt. xiv. 30: “Videns vero ventum validum, timuit.”

5. Ch. vii. §§ 27, 31.

6. Ch. vii. § 16.

7. See ch. xxxi. § 7, and ch. xxxix. § 14.

8. Ch. xii. § 3.

9. See St. John of the Cross, Living Flame, pp. 267,

278-284, Engl. trans.

10. See ch. xv. § 20.

11. § 18.

12. Prudence, experience, and learning; see § 24.

13. Dan. xii. 3: “Qui autem docti fuerint, fulgebunt quasi

splendor firmamenti.”

14. § 19.

Chapter XIV.

The Second State of Prayer. Its Supernatural Character.

1. Having spoken of the toilsome efforts and of the strength

required for watering the garden when we have to draw the water

out of the well, let us now speak of the second manner of drawing

the water, which the Lord of the vineyard has ordained; of the

machine of wheel and buckets whereby the gardener may draw more

water with less labour, and be able to take some rest without

being continually at work. This, then, is what I am now going to

describe; and I apply it to the prayer called the prayer

of quiet.

2. Herein the soul begins to be recollected; it is now touching

on the supernatural—for it never could by any efforts of its own

attain to this. True, it seems at times to have been wearied at

the wheel, labouring with the understanding, and filling the

buckets; but in this second degree the water is higher, and

accordingly the labour is much less than it was when the water

had to be drawn up out of the well; I mean, that the water is

nearer to it, for grace reveals itself more distinctly to

the soul.

3. This is a gathering together of the faculties of the soul

within itself, in order that it may have the fruition of that

contentment in greater sweetness; but the faculties are not lost,

neither are they asleep: the will alone is occupied in such a way

that, without knowing how it has become a captive, it gives a

simple consent to become the prisoner of God; for it knows well

what is to be the captive of Him it loves. O my Jesus and my

Lord, how pressing now is Thy love! [1] It binds our love in

bonds so straitly, that it is not in its power at this moment to

love anything else but Thee.

4. The other two faculties help the will, that it may render

itself capable of the fruition of so great a good; nevertheless,

it occasionally happens, even when the will is in union, that

they hinder it very much: but then it should never heed them at

all, simply abiding in its fruition and quiet. [2] For if it

tried to make them recollected, it would miss its way together

with them, because they are at this time like doves which are not

satisfied with the food the master of the dovecot gives them

without any labouring for it on their part, and which go forth in

quest of it elsewhere, and so hardly find it that they come back.

And so the memory and the understanding come and go, seeking

whether the will is going to give them that into the fruition of

which it has entered itself.

5. If it be our Lord’s pleasure to throw them any food, they

stop; if not, they go again to seek it. They must be thinking

that they are of some service to the will; and now and then the

memory or the imagination, seeking to represent to it that of

which it has the fruition, does it harm. The will, therefore,

should be careful to deal with them as I shall explain.

Everything that takes place now in this state brings the very

greatest consolation; and the labour is so slight, that prayer,

even if persevered in for some time, is never wearisome.

The reason is, that the understanding is now working very gently,

and is drawing very much more water than it drew out of the well.

The tears, which God now sends, flow with joy; though we feel

them, they are not the result of any efforts of our own.

6. This water of grand blessings and graces, which our Lord now

supplies, makes the virtues thrive much more, beyond all

comparison, than they did in the previous state of prayer; for

the soul is already ascending out of its wretched state, and some

little knowledge of the blissfulness of glory is communicated to

it. This, I believe, is it that makes the virtues grow the more,

and also to draw nearer to essential virtue, God Himself, from

Whom all virtues proceed; for His Majesty has begun to

communicate Himself to this soul, and will have it feel how He is

communicating Himself.

7. As soon as the soul has arrived thus far, it begins to lose

the desire of earthly things, [3] and no wonder; for it sees

clearly that, even for a moment, this joy is not to be had on

earth; that there are no riches, no dominion, no honours, no

delights, that can for one instant, even for the twinkling of an

eye, minister such a joy; for it is a true satisfaction, and the

soul sees that it really does satisfy. Now, we who are on earth,

as it seems to me, scarcely ever understand wherein our

satisfaction lies, for it is always liable to disappointment; but

in this, at that time, there is none: the disappointment cometh

afterwards, when the soul sees that all is over, and that it has

no power to recover it, neither does it know how; for if it cut

itself in pieces by penance and prayer, and every other kind of

austerities, all would be of little use, if our Lord did not

grant it. God, in His great mercy, will have the soul comprehend

that His Majesty is so near to it, that it need not send

messengers to Him, but may speak to Him itself, and not with a

loud crying, because so near is He already, that He understands

even the movements of its lips.

8. It seems absurd to say this, seeing that we know that God

understands us always, and is present with us. It is so, and

there can be no doubt of it; but our Emperor and Lord will have

us now understand that He understands us; and also have us

understand what His presence bringeth about, and that He means in

a special way to begin a work in the soul, which is manifested in

the great joy, inward and outward, which He communicates, and in

the difference there is, as I said just now, between this joy and

delight and all the joys of earth; for He seems to be filling up

the void in our souls occasioned by our sins.

9. This satisfaction lies in the innermost part of the soul, and

the soul knows not whence, nor how, it came, very often it knows

not what to do, or wish, or pray for. It seems to find all this

at once, and knoweth not what it hath found; nor do I know how to

explain it, because learning is necessary for many things. Here,

indeed, learning would be very much to the purpose, in order to

explain the general and particular helps of grace; for there are

many who know nothing about them. Learning would serve to show

how our Lord now will have the soul to see, as it were, with the

naked eye, as men speak, this particular help of grace, and be

also useful in many other ways wherein I am likely to go astray.

But as what I write is to be seen by those who have the learning

to discover whether I make mistakes or not, I go on without

anxiety; for I know I need have none whatever about either the

letter or the spirit, because it is in their power to whom it is

to be sent to do with it as they will: they will understand it,

and blot out whatever may be amiss.

10. I should like them to explain this, because it is a principal

point, and because a soul, when our Lord begins to bestow these

graces upon it, does not understand them, and does not know what

to do with itself; for if God leads it by the way of fear, as He

led me, its trial will be heavy, if there be no one who

understands the state it is in; and to see itself as in a picture

is a great comfort; and then it sees clearly that it is

travelling on that road. The knowledge of what it has to do is a

great blessing for it, so that it may advance forwards in every

one of these degrees of prayer; for I have suffered greatly, and

lost much time, because I did not know what to do; and I am very

sorry for those souls who find themselves alone when they come to

this state; for though I read many spiritual books, wherein this

very matter is discussed, they threw very little light upon it.

And if it be not a soul much exercised in prayer, it