Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

sorrow is most meritorious.

2. Of this kind are all those things which produce a devotion

acquired in part by means of the understanding, though it can

neither be merited nor had, if God grants it not. It is best for

a soul which God has not raised to a higher state than this not

to try to rise of itself. Let this be well considered, because

all the soul will gain in that way will be a loss. In this state

it can make many acts of good resolutions to do much for God, and

enkindle its love; other acts also, which may help the growth of

virtues, according to that which is written in a book called The

Art of Serving God, [1] a most excellent work, and profitable for

those who are in this state, because the understanding is

active now.

3. The soul may also place itself in the presence of Christ, and

accustom itself to many acts of love directed to His sacred

Humanity, and remain in His presence continually, and speak to

Him, pray to Him in its necessities, and complain to Him of its

troubles; be merry with Him in its joys, and yet not forget Him

because of its joys. All this it may do without set prayers, but

rather with words befitting its desires and its needs.

4. This is an excellent way whereby to advance, and that very

quickly. He that will strive to have this precious

companionship, and will make much of it, and will sincerely love

our Lord, to whom we owe so much, is one, in my opinion, who has

made some progress. There is therefore no reason why we should

trouble ourselves because we have no sensible devotion, as I said

before. [2] But let us rather give thanks to our Lord, who

allows us to have a desire to please Him, though our works be

poor. This practice of the presence of Christ is profitable in

all states of prayer, and is a most safe way of advancing in the

first state, and of attaining quickly to the second; and as for

the last states, it secures us against those risks which the

devil may occasion.

5. This, then, is what we can do. He who would pass out of this

state, and upraise his spirit, in order to taste consolations

denied him, will, in my opinion, lose both the one and the

other. [3] These consolations being supernatural, and the

understanding inactive, the soul is then left desolate and in

great aridity. As the foundation of the whole building is

humility, the nearer we draw unto God the more this virtue should

grow; if it does not, everything is lost. It seems to be a kind

of pride when we seek to ascend higher, seeing that God descends

so low, when He allows us, being what we are, to draw near

unto Him.

6. It must not be supposed that I am now speaking of raising our

thoughts to the consideration of the high things of heaven and of

its glory, or unto God and His great wisdom. I never did this

myself, because I had not the capacity for it—as I said

before; [4] and I was so worthless, that, as to thinking even of

the things of earth, God gave me grace to understand this truth:

that in me it was no slight boldness to do so. How much more,

then, the thinking of heavenly things? Others, however, will

profit in that way, particularly those who are learned; for

learning, in my opinion, is a great treasury in the matter of

this exercise, if it be accompanied with humility. I observed

this a few days ago in some learned men who had shortly before

made a beginning, and had made great progress. This is the

reason why I am so very anxious that many learned men may become

spiritual. I shall speak of this by and by. [5]

7. What I am saying—namely, let them not rise if God does not

raise them—is the language of spirituality. He will understand

me who has had any experience; and I know not how to explain it,

if what I have said does not make it plain.

8. In mystical theology—of which I spoke before [6]—the

understanding ceases from its acts, because God suspends it—as I

shall explain by and by, if I can; [7] and God give me the grace

to do so. We must neither imagine nor think that we can of

ourselves bring about this suspension. That is what I say must

not be done; nor must we allow the understanding to cease from

its acts; for in that case we shall be stupid and cold, and the

result will be neither the one nor the other. For when our Lord

suspends the understanding, and makes it cease from its acts, He

puts before it that which astonishes and occupies it: so that

without making any reflections, it shall comprehend in a

moment [8] more than we could comprehend in many years with all

the efforts in the world.

9. To have the powers of the mind occupied, and to think that you

can keep them at the same time quiet, is folly. I repeat it,

though it be not so understood, there is no great humility in

this; and, if it be blameless, it is not left unpunished—it is

labour thrown away, and the soul is a little disgusted: it feels

like a man about to take a leap, and is held back. Such a one

seems to have used up his strength already, and finds himself

unable to do that which he wished to have done: so here, in the

scanty gain that remains, he who will consider the matter will

trace that slight want of humility of which I have spoken; [9]

for that virtue has this excellence: there is no good work

attended by humility that leaves the soul disgusted. It seems to

me that I have made this clear enough; yet, after all, perhaps

only for myself. May our Lord open their eyes who read this, by

giving them experience; and then however slight that experience

may be, they will immediately understand it.

10. For many years I read much, and understood nothing; and for a

long time, too, though God gave me understanding herein, I never

could utter a word by which I might explain it to others.

This was no little trouble to me. When His Majesty pleases, He

teaches everything in a moment, so that I am lost in wonder.

One thing I can truly say: though I conversed with many spiritual

persons, who sought to make me understand what our Lord was

giving me, in order that I might be able to speak of it, the fact

is, that my dulness was so great, that I derived no advantage

whatever, much or little, from their teaching.

11. Or it may be, as His Majesty has always been my Master—may

He be blessed for ever! for I am ashamed of myself that I can say

so with truth—that it was His good pleasure I should meet with

no one to whom I should be indebted in this matter. So, without

my wishing or asking it—I never was careful about this, for that

would have been a virtue in me, but only about vanity—God gave

me to understand with all distinctness in a moment, and also

enabled me to express myself, so that my confessors were

astonished but I more than they, because I knew my own dulness

better. It is not long since this happened. And so that which

our Lord has not taught me, I seek not to know it, unless it be a

matter that touches my conscience.

12. Again I repeat my advice: it is of great moment not to raise

our spirit ourselves, if our Lord does not raise it for us; and

if He does, there can be no mistaking it. For women, it is

specially wrong, because the devil can delude them—though I am

certain our Lord will never allow him to hurt any one who labours

to draw near unto God in humility. On the contrary, such a one

will derive more profit and advantage out of that attack by which

Satan intended to hurt him.

13. I have dwelt so long upon this matter because this way of

prayer is the most common with beginners, and because the advice

I have given is very important. It will be found much better

given elsewhere: that I admit; and I admit, also, that in writing

it I am ashamed of myself, and covered with confusion—though not

so much so as I ought to be. Blessed for ever be our Lord, of

whose will and pleasure it is that I am allowed, being what I am,

to speak of things which are His, of such a nature, and so deep.

1. Arte de servir a Dios, by Rodrigue de Solis, friar of the

Augustinian Order (Bouix). Arte para servir a Dios, by

Fra. Alonso de Madrid (De la Fuente).

2. Ch. xi. §§ 20, 25.

3. That is, he will lose the prayer of acquired quiet, because he

voluntarily abandons it before the time; and will not attain to

the prayer of infused quiet, because he attempts to rise into it

before he is called (Francis. de Sancto Thoma, Medulla Mystica,

tr. iv. ch. xi. n. 69).

4. Ch. iv. § 10.

5. Ch. xxxiv. § 9.

6. Ch. x. § 1.

7. Ch. xvi. § 4.

8. “En un credo.”

9. § 5.

Chapter XIII.

Of Certain Temptations of Satan. Instructions Relating Thereto.

1. I have thought it right to speak of certain temptations I have

observed to which beginners are liable—some of them I have had

myself—and to give some advice about certain things which to me

seem necessary. In the beginning, then, we should strive to be

cheerful and unconstrained; for there are people who think it is

all over with devotion if they relax themselves ever so little.

It is right to be afraid of self; so that, having no confidence

in ourselves, much or little, we may not place ourselves in those

circumstances wherein men usually sin against God; for it is a

most necessary fear, till we become very perfect in virtue.

And there are not many who are so perfect as to be able to relax

themselves on those occasions which offer temptations to their

natural temper; for always while we live, were it only to

preserve humility, it is well we should know our own miserable

nature; but there are many occasions on which it is permitted

us—as I said just now [1]—to take some recreation, in order

that we may with more vigour resume our prayer.

2. Discretion is necessary throughout. We must have great

confidence; because it is very necessary for us not to contract

our desires, but put our trust in God; for, if we do violence to

ourselves by little and little, we shall, though not at once,

reach that height which many Saints by His grace have reached.

If they had never resolved to desire, and had never by little and

little acted upon that resolve, they never could have ascended to

so high a state.

3. His Majesty seeks and loves courageous souls; but they must be

humble in their ways, and have no confidence in themselves.

I never saw one of those lag behind on the road; and never a

cowardly soul, though aided by humility, make that progress in

many years which the former makes in a few.