Life and Death of Mr. Badman by John Bunyan (most life changing books TXT) 📕

Atten. It must needs be so as you say, if these things be true that you have asserted of him. And I do the rather believe them, because I think you dare not tell a lie of the dead.

Wise. I was one of them that went to him, and that beheld his carriage and manner of way, and this is a true relation of it that I have given you.

Atten. I am satisfied. But pray if you can, shew me now by the Word, what sentence of God doth pass upon such men?

Wise. Why, the man that is thus averse to repentance, that desires not to hear of his sins, that he might repent and be saved; is said to be a man that saith unto God, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of thy wayes. {163a} He is a man that sayes in his heart and with his actions, I have loved strangers, (sins) and after them I will goe. He is a man that shuts his eyes, stops his ears, and that turneth his spirit against God. Yea he is the man that is at enmity with God, and that abhorres him with his soul. {163b}

Atten. What other signe can you give me that Mr. Badman died without repentance?

Wise. Why, he did never heartily cry to God for mercy all the time of his affliction. {163c} True, when sinking fits, stitches, or pains took hold upon him, then he would say as other carnal men use to do, Lord help me, Lord strengthen me, Lord deliver me, and the like: But to cry to God for mercy, that he did not, but lay, as I hinted before, as if he never had sinned.

Atten. That is another bad sign indeed; for crying to God for mercy, is one of the first signs of repentance. When Paul lay repenting of his sin, upon his bed, the Holy Ghost said of him, Behold he prayes. {163d} But he that hath not the first signs of repentance, ‘tis a sign he hath none of the other, and so indeed none at all. I do not say, but there may be crying, where there may be no sign of repentance. They cryed, says David, to the Lord, but he answered them not; {163e} but that he would have done, if their cry had been the fruit of repentance. But, I say, if men may cry, and yet have no repentance, be sure, they have none, that cry not at all. It is said in Job, They cry not when he bindeth them; {163f} that is, because they have no repentance; no repentance, no cryes; false repentance, false cryes; true repentance, true cryes.

Wise. I know that it is as possible for a man to forbear crying that hath repentance, as it is for a man to forbear groaning that feeleth deadly pain. He that looketh into the Book of Psalms, (where repentance is most lively set forth even in its true and proper effects,) shall there find, that crying, strong crying, hearty crying, great crying, and uncessant crying, hath been the fruits of repentance: (But none of this had this Mr. Badman, therefore he dyed in his sins.)

That Crying is an inseparable effect of repentance, is seen in these Scriptures. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to the multitude of thy tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am weak. O Lord, heal me for my bones are vexed. My soul is also vexed, but thou, O Lord, how long: Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: O save me for thy mercies sake: O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure; for thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore. There is no soundness in my flesh, because of thine anger, neither is there any rest in my bones, because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over mine head, as an heavy burthen, they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and are corrupt; because of my foolishness. I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly, I goe mourning all the day long. My loyns are filled with a loathsom disease, and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble, and sore broken, I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart. {164a}

I might give you a great number more of the holy sayings of good men, whereby they express how they were, what they felt, and whether they cryed or no, when repentance was wrought in them. Alas, alas, it is as possible for a man, when the pangs of Guilt are upon him to forbear praying, as it is for a woman when pangs of travel are upon her to forbear crying. If all the world should tell me that such a man hath repentance, yet if he is not a praying man, I should not be perswaded to believe it.

Atten. I know no reason why you should: for there is nothing can demonstrate that such a man hath it. But pray Sir, what other sign have you, by which you can prove that Mr. Badman died in his sins, and so in a state of damnation?

Wise. I have this to prove it. {164b} Those who were his old sinfull companions in the time of his health, were those whose company and carnal talk he most delighted in, in the time of his sickness. I did occasionally hint this before, but now I make it an argument of his want of grace: for where there is indeed a work of Grace in the heart, that work doth not only change the heart, thoughts and desires, but the conversation also; yea conversation and company too. When Paul had a work of grace in his soul, he assayed to Joyn himself to the Disciples. He was for his old companions in their abominations no longer: he was now a Disciple, and was for the company of Disciples. And he was with them coming in and going out in Jerusalem. {165a}

Atten. I thought something when I heard you make mention of it before. Thought I, this is a shrewd sign that he had not grace in his heart. Birds of a feather, thought I, will flock together: If this man was one of Gods children, he would heard with Gods children, his delight would be with, and in the company of Gods children. As David said, I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts. {165b}

Wise. You say well, for what fellowship hath he that believeth with an Infidel? And although it be true, that all that joyn to the godly are not godly, yet they that shall inwardly choose the company of the ungodly and open profane, rather than the company of the godly, as Mr. Badman did; surely are not godly men, but profane. He was, as I told you, out of his element, when good men did come to visit him, but then he was where he would be, when he had his vain companions about him. Alas! grace, as I said, altereth all, heart, life, company, and all; for by it the heart and man is made new: and a new heart, a new man, must have objects of delight that are new, and like himself: Old things are passed away; Why? For all things are become new. {165c} Now if all things are become new, to wit, heart, mind, thoughts, desires, and delights, it followeth by consequence that the company must be answerable: hence it is said, That they that believed were together; that they went to their own company; that they were added to the Church; that they were of one heart and of one soul; {165d} and the like. Now if it be objected that Mr. Badman was sick, and so could not goe to the godly, yet he had a tongue in his head, and could, had he had an heart, have spoken to some to call or send for the godly to come to him. Yea, he would have done so; yea the company of all others, specially his fellow sinners, would, even in every appearance of them before him, have been a burden and a grief unto him. His heart and affection standing bent to good, good companions would have suited him best. But his Companions were his old Associates, his delight was in them, therefore his heart and soul were yet ungodly.

Atten. Pray how was he when he drew near his end? for I perceive that what you say of him now, hath reference to him, and to his actions, at the beginning of his sickness? Then he could endure company, and much talk; besides, perhaps then he thought he should recover and not die, as afterwards he had cause to think, when he was quite wasted with pining sickness, when he was at the graves mouth. But how was he, I say, when he was (as we say) at the graves mouth, within a step of death? when he saw, and knew, and could not but know, that shortly he must dye, and appear before the Judgment of God?

Wise. Why {166a} there was not any other alteration in him, than what was made by his disease upon his body: sickness, you know, will alter the body, also pains and stitches will make men groan; but for his mind he had no alteration there. His mind was the same, his heart was the same. He was the self-same Mr. Badman still: not onely in Name but Conditions, and that to the very day of his death: yea, so far as could be gathered to the very moment in which he died.

Atten. Pray how was he in his death? was Death strong upon him? or did he dye with ease, quietly?

Wise. As quietly as a {166b} Lamb. There seemed not to be in it, to standers by, so much as a strong struggle of Nature: and as for his Mind, it seemed to be wholly at quiet. But pray why do you ask me this question?

Atten. Not for mine own sake, but for others. For there is such {166c} an opinion as this among the ignorant: That if a man dies, as they call it, like a Lamb, that is, quietly, and without that consternation of mind that others shew in their death, they conclude, and that beyond all doubt, that such an one is gone to Heaven, and is certainly escaped the wrath to come.

Wise. There is no Judgment to be made by a quiet death, of the Eternal state of him that so dieth. Suppose one man should die quietly, another should die suddenly, and a third should die under great consternation of spirit; no man can Judge of their eternall condition by the manner of any of these kinds of deaths. He that dies quietly, suddenly, or under consternation of spirit, may goe to Heaven, or may goe to Hell; no man can tell whether a man goes, by any such manner of death. The {167a} Judgment therefore that we make of the eternall condition of a man must be gathered from another consideration: To wit, Did the man die in his sins? did he die in unbelief? did he die before he was born again? then he is gone to the Devil and hell, though he died never so quietly. Again, Was the man a good man? had he faith and holiness? was he a lover