Life and Death of Mr. Badman by John Bunyan (most life changing books TXT) 📕

Indeed there is, in some cases, a Judgment to be made of a mans eternal condition by the manner of the death he dieth. {167b} As suppose now a man should murder himself, or live a wicked life, and after that die in utter despair; these men without doubt do both of them goe to Hell. And here I will take an occasion to speak of two of Mr. Badmans Brethren, (for you know I told you before that he had Brethren,) and of the manner of their death. One of them killed himself, and the other after a wicked life died in utter despair. Now I should not be afraid to conclude of both these, that they went by, and through their death to hell.

Atten. Pray tell me concerning the first, how he made away himself?

Wise. Why, he took a knife and cut his own Throat, and immediately gave up the Ghost and died. Now what can we judge of such a mans condition; since the Scripture saith, No murderer hath eternall life, &c. but that it must be concluded, that such an one is gone to Hell. He was a murderer, a Self-murderer; and he is the worst murderer, one that slays his own body and soul: nor doe we find mention made of any but cursed ones that doe such kind of deeds. I say, no mention made in holy Writ of any others, but such, that murder themselves.

And this is the sore Judgment of God upon men, when God shall, for the sins of such, give them up to be their own Executioners, or rather to execute his Judgment and Anger upon themselves. And let me earnestly give this Caution to sinners. Take heed, Sirs, break off your sins, lest God serves you as he served Mr. Badmans Brother: That is, lest he gives you up to be your own Murderers.

Atten. Now you talk of this. I did once know a man, {168a} a Barber, that took his own Raisor, and cut his own Throat, and then put his head out of his Chamber-window, to shew the neighbours what he had done, and after a little while died.

Wise. I can tell you {168b} a more dreadful thing than this: I mean as to the manner of doing the fact. {168c} There was about twelve years since, a man that lived at Brafield by Northampton, (named John Cox) that murdered himself; the manner of his doing of it was thus. He was a poor man, and had for some time been sick (and the time of his sickness was about the beginning of Hay-time;) and taking too many thoughts how he should live afterwards, if he lost his present season of work, he fell into deep despair about the world, and cryed out to his wife the morning before he killed himself, saying, We are undone. But quickly after, he desired his wife to depart the room, Because, said he, I will see if I can get any rest; so she went out: but he instead of sleeping, quickly took his Raisor, and therewith cut up a great hole in his side, out of which he pulled, and cut off some of his guts, and threw them, with the blood up and down the Chamber. But this not speeding of him so soon as he desired, he took the same Raisor and therewith cut his own throat. His wife then hearing of him sigh and fetch his wind short, came again into the room to him, and seeing what he had done, she ran out and called in some Neighbours, who came to him where he lay in a bloody manner, frightfull to behold. Then said one of them to him, Ah! John, what have you done? are you not sorry for what you have done? He answered roughly, ‘Tis too late to be sorry. Then said the same person to him again, Ah! John, pray to God to forgive thee this bloody act of thine. At the hearing of which Exhortation, he seemed much offended, and in angry manner said, Pray! and with that flung himself away to the wall, and so after a few gasps died desperately. When he had turned him of his back, to the wall, the blood ran out of his belly as out of a boul, and soaked quite through the bed to the boards, and through the chinks of the boards it ran pouring down to the ground. Some said, that when the neighbours came to see him, he lay groaping with his hand in his bowels, reaching upward, as was thought, that he might have pulled or cut out his heart. ‘Twas said also, that some of his Liver had been by him torn out and cast upon the boards, and that many of his guts hung out of the bed on the side thereof. But I cannot confirm all particulars; but the general of the story, with these circumstances above mentioned, is true; I had it from a sober and credible person, who himself was one that saw him in this bloody state, and that talked with him, as was hinted before.

Many other such dreadful things might be told you, but these are enough, and too many too, if God in his wisdom had thought necessary to prevent them.

Atten. This is a dreadful Story: and I would to God that it might be a warning to others to instruct them to fear before God, and pray, lest he gives them up to doe as John Cox hath done. For surely self-murderers cannot goe to Heaven: and therefore, as you have said, he that dieth by his own hands, is certainly gone to Hell. But speak a word or two of the other man you mentioned.

Wise. What? of a wicked man dying in Despair?

Atten. Yes, of a wicked man dying in despair.

Wise. Well then: {169a} This Mr. Badmans other Brother was a very wicked man, both in Heart and Life; I say in Heart, because he was so in Life, nor could anything reclaim him; neither good Men, good Books, good Examples, nor Gods Judgements. Well, after he had lived a great while in his sins, God smote with a sickness of which he died. Now in his sickness his Conscience began to be awakened, and he began to roar out of his ill-spent Life, insomuch that the Town began to ring of him. Now when it was noysed about, many of the Neighbours came to see him, and to read by him, as is the common way with some; but all that they could doe, {170a} could not abate his terror, but he would lie in his Bed gnashing of his teeth, and wringing of his wrists, concluding upon the Damnation of his Soul, and in that horror and despair he dyed; not calling upon God, but distrusting in his Mercy, and Blaspheming of his Name.

Atten. This brings to my mind a man that a Friend of mine told me of. {170b} He had been a wicked liver; so when he came to die, he fell into despair, and having concluded that God had no mercy for him he addressed himself to the Devil for favour, saying, Good Devil be good unto me.

Wise. This is almost like Saul, who being forsaken of God, went to the Witch of Endor, and so to the Devil for help. {170c} But alas, should I set my self to collect these dreadful Stories, it would be easie in little time to present you with hundreds of them: But I will conclude as I began; They that are their own Murderers, or that die in Despair, after they have lived a life of wickedness, do surely go to Hell.

And here I would put in a Caution: Every one that dieth under consternation of spirit; that is, under amazement and great fear, do not therefore die in Despair: For a good man may have this for his bands in his death, and yet go to Heaven and Glory. For, as I said before, He that is a good man, a man that hath Faith and Holiness, a lover and Worshipper of God by Christ, according to his Word, may die in consternation of spirit: for Satan will not be wanting to assault good men upon their death-bed, but they are secured by the Word and Power of God; yea, and are also helped, though with much agony of spirit, to exercise themselves in Faith and Prayer, the which he that dieth in Despair, can by no means doe. But let us return to Mr. Badman, and enter further Discourse of the manner of his Death.

Atten. I think you and I are both of a mind; for just now I was thinking to call you back to him also. And pray now, since it is your own motion to return again to him, let us discourse a little more of his quiet and still death.

Wise. With all my heart. You know we were speaking before of the manner of Mr. Badmans death: {171a} How that he dyed very stilly and quietly; upon which you made observation, that the common people conclude, that if a man dyes quietly, and as they call it, like a Lamb, he is certainly gone to Heaven: when alas, if a wicked man dyes quietly, if a man that has all his dayes lived in notorious sin, dyeth quietly; his quiet dying is so far off from being a sign of his being saved, that it is an uncontrollable proof of his damnation. This was Mr. Badmans case, he lived wickedly even to the last, and then went quietly out of the world: therefore Mr. Badman is gone to Hell.

Att. Well, but since you are upon it, and also so confident in it, to wit, that a man that lives a wicked life till he dyes, and then dyes quietly, is gone to Hell; let me see hat shew of proof you have for this your opinion.

Wise. My first argument is drawn from the Necessity of repentance: No man can be saved except he repents, nor can he repent that sees not, that knows not that he is a sinner, and he that knows himself to be a sinner, will, I will warrant him, be molested for the time by that knowledge. {171b} This, as it is testified by all the Scriptures, so it is testified by Christian experience. He that knows of himself to be a sinner, is molested, especially if that knowledge comes not to him untill he is cast upon his death-bed; molested, I say, before he can dye quietly. Yea, he is molested, dejected and cast down, he is also made to cry out, to hunger and thirst after mercy by Christ, and if at all he shall indeed come to die quietly, I mean with that quietness that is begotten by Faith and Hope in Gods mercy (to the which Mr. Badman and his brethren were utter strangers,) his quietness is distinguished by all Judicious observers, by what went before it, by what it flows from, and also by what is the fruit thereof.

I must confess I am no admirer of sick-bed repentance, for I think verily it is seldom {171c} good for any thing: but I say, he that hath lived in sin and profaneness all his dayes, as Mr. Badman did, and yet shall dye quietly, that is, without repentance steps in ‘twixt his life