Blank Page. by Ash . (i read book txt) 📕

"How do you know what pregnant women are like?"

"I basically worked in a gynecology office with my mother growing up. I had no choice but to learn something while I was bored."

I looked down at the sheets and then sighed. It hurt me to hurt him so deeply and keep the fact that I'm pregnant with his child from him but what was I supposed to do? Guys these days usually leave girls alone with a kid because we tell them or they don't believe it's theirs. But Jai seemed different. He was grinning like a 7-year-old finding a lollipop in his mother's purse.

"I'm gonna be a dad," he shouted and picked me up abruptly.

"You're happy about this?" I asked in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm going to have a kid! A little boy! He can join football with me and we can go camping every summer like me and my dad used to do before he..." Jai stopped and got the sad look he always got when talking about his father.

I rubbed his arm and kissed his forehead before looking in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault ok? Your dad had the drug problem, not you. And our child will be different. Much different," I assured him and kissed his cheek.

He grinned again and pulled me close. "You know I'll kiss your belly now, right?"

"Don't," I groaned and he laughed while kissing me again.

Pregnancy changes things for a girl. The moods, cravings, gas, contractions, delivery, choices. It's a lot to think about before it actually gets here. Baby's are expensive. At least $23 for diapers. Counting the tax, baby food, formulas, and clothes. It's a lot of varieties of everything I just named but I guess that's what Jai and I are getting ourselves into. He pictures this bouncing baby boy running around with a football jersey on and calling out his name every ten minutes. I can picture a beautiful little girl, with pigtails and pink dresses. I think that whatever we're given, we'll love just as much as the opposite.

"It's definitely a boy," Jai said assuringly to my doctor as she lifted my shirt and poured the gel onto the, now, rounding belly of mine.

"Well, dad, we're not so sure of that yet, are we?" she said with a smile and turned on the sonogram machine.

"I'm totally sure that's it's a little boy," Jai said anxiously and smiled.

"He's really excited," I explained and laughed a little.

"Well, shall we begin?" a small image appeared on the small screen and a tiny thing floated around.

"That's him!" Jai shouted and smiled.

"You mean, her," the doctor asked.

"It's a girl?" my eyes immediately filled with tears.

"It is a little girl. Have you thought of a name for her yet?"

"Ava. I mean, it's nothing special but..."

"No," Jai interrupted me. "It doesn't have to be. It's perfect. Little Ava," he said with a smile.

"I know you're disappointed," Rick said to Jai once we told him.

"Well, hey, that's my baby girl," Jai said and brought me closer to him, rubbing his hand across my stomach slowly.

"What are you naming her?" Camille asked.

"Ava," I told her and smiled down at my stomach.

"It's so beautiful," Ricky said and kissed my forehead.

"If you two need any help, we'd be glad to offer a hand. It's the least we could do for our niece," Camille added.

"Thanks you guys. I appreciate it. I'm just ready for her to be here already and to get this off my mind."

"It'll never be off of your mind." Jai seemed so sure.

"I guess now all we need to do is make sure our daughter comes into a world where she'll at least survive," I told them.

And that's exactly what I did. I brought her here with all the love and affection I could provide. A solid ten hours of hard working labor and enough screams to last a lifetime. Ava Ramirez came into the world a solid five pounds and screaming for her first touch of life. I don't know what kept Jai from fainting but I guess it's alright now.

Ava's three now and she's amazing. I guess the hardship all paid off. From dealing with Caleb, who is now facing time for not taking responsibility for his actions, and his bitchiness. From dealing with my father passing, my mother's abuse, and the fights I took on with my own brother, something so amazing came from it. I haven't heard from my mother since I moved in with Ricky, but I can still feel her getting near. I'm not sure why though. And Jai and I even had a second kid, another little girl named McKayla. The girls are the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Jai still sits down with me at night in our bed and tell me I'm his one and only, hoping for a little boy but...

I think it can wait.

~

Publication Date: 05-06-2013

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