The Circus by Kestral Volta (desktop ebook reader txt) 📕

had died in the circus and that had been Judy Balcott. She had been a dancer and smoked a lot of drugs. Drugs had been her end and her funeral had been similar to Dane’s. They had been due to play a show that night, but had cancelled it and had moved on in the morning. The chance of the circus staying in the small town where Dane had died to play the last show was small. It disheartened Alex to just think of the prospect!
Amber stopped walking. Alex turned and saw her fearful expression, her sparkling eyes darting about the undergrowth.
“Did you hear that?” she whispered, nervously.
“No, what?” replied Alex, straining his ears.
Silence.
Alex’s heart beat sped up slightly.
The snap of a twig exploded through the pair, whooped together at the tiny sound. They looked around wildly, looking for the source desperately.
Out of the darkness came a tall figure. Several other figures followed it, surrounding them. Amber shook beside Alex, who pulled her close to him. He wasn’t a good fighter, but he was prepared to do anything to protect Amber- he had already lost enough today.
When the first figure came into the dim moonlight, Alex’s stomach flipped as he recognised with a terrifying dread, who it was.
Keith.
Amber gasped.
“Hey, freaks!” he yelled, annoyance surfacing in his tone.
Alex and Amber remained silence.
“So, is the gypsy-fucker having fin with my girlfriend?” Keith said directly to Alex. He turned to Amber, “Has he been spreading his gypsy-freak germs on you? I bet it’s contagious. You wanna end up looking like that?” he gestured to Alex.
Alex cringed at the insult, a voice inside his head screaming: Stop being so weak!
“Don’t worry, Amber, I can get rid of it.” explained Keith, pulling a dark object from his coat pocket. “I’ll get rid of the gypsy-fucker!” Keith’s words became slurred and he sounded oddly drunk.
He waved the dark object in the air, pointing it in Alex’s direction, until light flashed past it and Alex realized what it was. Horror filled his stomach as he pulled Amber closer.
“Look, K-Keith, we can s-sort this out...” whimpered Amber, who was now sobbing. “Just s-stay calm...”
Keith turned to Amber, brandishing the gun in all directions. Alex moved so that he was in front of Amber, not really sure he was in control of his own movements.
“Shut up, bitch!” yelled Keith, milliseconds before the shot rang out, echoing around the forest.
Moments. All moving one after the other. In slow motion. Silence.
Alex looked at Amber, expecting to see pain riddled in her expression, but instead, she was looking down, horrified.
Alex felt no pain, but weakness took control of his legs. He looked down at Amber’s stomach, but saw nothing.
And then he caught sight of his own. A crimson stain was spreading itself on the fabric of his white T-shirt. Alex felt numb, cold.
The ground came up to meet him, the cold soil making Alex’s cheeks.
The next few moments were slow, too slow. Voices became deep and slurred, vision turned to one huge smudge of colours, mixing with each other, defying their boundaries.
Shouts, screams, violence.
Black.

“Is he ok?”
“I’ve done my best; the rest is up to him.”
“He can’t stay here. He doesn’t belong here.”
“As I’ve said, I did my best.”
“What if he stays? What then?”
“Then he’ll never feel right. He’ll be lonely, starving, thirsty, forever searching- I trust you know what I’m talking about?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did you ask me that question?”
“I...I had to be sure. I can’t let him end up like that!”
“We can do no more for him. All we can do is believe.”
“Yes, believe.”

Alex tried to open his eyes, but they were too heavy. He tried to move, but just a tiny twitch was enough to drain away whatever little strength he had. All he could do was listen.
“He’s ok, right? I mean, he’ll live?” asked a very worried voice. It sent shivers through his body, turning his blood cold with excitement.
“He’ll be fine. I’ve got the bullet out, so he should heal ok. Nothing was too badly damaged.” explained a familiar voice.
Alex knew these voices, but couldn’t quite place them. All he knew was that he loved both of them.
“Look! He twitched!” cried the first voice. It was closer now and he could feel pressure on his hand. Someone was holding it.
“Alex?” the other voice whispered.
Alex’s eyes snapped open at his name. The two faces above him were blurry. He blinked away the sleep and gazed up at Amber and Dorothy’s worried faces. He was in his caravan, lying on his bed in amongst his covers. He looked past Amber and saw a small heap on the floor that was his bloody T-shirt. Suddenly, memory flashed back in his mind, but Alex was too grief-stricken to be angry.
“Hey Alex!” Amber stroked his birthmark and smiled.
“You had us scared there for a moment, I almost though I couldn’t save you!” exclaimed Dorothy.
“Ow...” mumbled Alex as he tried to sit.
“Hey, just lie still.” Dorothy pushed him back down. “I’m going to tell the others we still have a ringleader.” She murmured Dorothy, as she left the caravan.
“Are you ok?” asked Alex, looking at Amber.
“I’m fine, just a bit shocked.” She replied.
“What happened to Keith?”
“Their gone, Garry scared them off. The others were pretty scared. Like, not just scared that you were gonna die, it went deeper than that...” Amber explained, her eyes glazing over slightly.
“Hey, I’m their new ringleader, without them...” Alex trailed off, reluctant to carry on the thought. The pain in his stomach thronged like a dark cloud. “Won’t your Aunt be worried?”
“I’ve called her, she’s a bit worried about what I’ve got mixed up in, but she doesn’t really tend to care about what I get up too.” She answered, solemnly.
Alex grunted.
“I’ll have to go, it’s late and I need to let my Aunt know I’m ok in person. I’ll see you tomorrow!” she bent and kissed him, her scent filling his nostrils, caressing his senses. As she pulled away, he held onto her hand, holding on for a little bit too long before finally letting his hand drop. He watched as the door closed behind her.
He suddenly felt very lonely, as if Amber had stolen all his happiness- or what was left of it.
He knew one thing: the circus had to leave, or something else like this would happen. He couldn’t do that to Amber. But could he leave Amber? Without her, he would feel like this, all the time. Could he handle that? Would he be able to keep going?
It was a question Alex didn’t want to answer.

The next following days were horrible. There was an odd atmosphere about the circus. One that was all too familiar to Alex, the type that hung around like a thick smog, always before the circus was due to leave. Normally, Alex would be glad to leave, to the extent where he would try and hurry things along. Once he had said to Dorothy and Garry that they needed to leave to prevent any more violence, they had set a date and left it at that. Alex still hadn’t had the heart to tell Amber, but he was determined to not let her find out for herself. He would tell her today.
Unfortunately, Alex was still bed-bound after the bullet wound, but it didn’t mean that preparations were going any slower. Amber was due to arrive soon, by word of mouth.
She came soon after 4:00, carrying a Get Well card. They laughed and chatted for a bit, Alex trying to prolong the time they had together.
“Hey, Amber?” Alex whispered.
“Yes?” she replied.
“I...I need to...tell you something.” Alex started.
“What is it?” Amber asked, hopefully.
“Look... we, the circus, can’t stay here.” Alex looked at Amber’s face. Her eyes suddenly turned sad, her smile slowly disappearing. “Things like this, people like us, we don’t belong. Normal people hate us. They try to do things like this to us.” Alex gestures at his stomach. “I can’t let that happen to you. We can’t be together. You have a life to live, a house, a family. You don’t want to be part of my world.” Alex finished, his voice breaking slightly.
Amber sat in silence for a moment, looking at the floor. Anger crept onto her face.
“No! No, you can’t go! You c-can’t l-leave me!” tears exploded from her eyes.
“I’m sorry. We can’t stay...” Alex trailed off, wishing for silence.
“You can’t leave me, take me with you!” cried amber, her voice growing desperate.
“No, you don’t belong to my world! You have a chance for a life without this! I won’t let you!”
“You don’t understand, there’s nothing out there for me anymore! My parents are dead, my brother doesn’t care, nor does my Aunt! Please, just, don’t leave me! I love you!” she cried, pulling Alex close.
Alex went quiet. He didn’t want to say anymore. It was the only way. “You should forget me.” he whispered.
“No! No! You...you c-can’t! Tell me you don’t love me!”
Alex looked down and said nothing. He couldn’t say it.
“Say it! Say it! You owe me that!” she screamed.
Alex said nothing. His insides felt as though they were being poked with knives.
Amber dropped his hand and stood. Sobs shook her body, her face stained with tears. She went to the door and took one long look- one that was overflowing with sorrow and longing- and left. The silence was cold and stony. It was almost painful.


It was raining when the circus got to Oakthorpe. There was the odd buzz of excitement about the town at the thought of the rare entertainment that had arrived. It was almost December, a welcome break from the horrible drizzle that had plagued the town was brought on by a sky that was a dazzling white and the blanket of snow that seemed to mute all sounds and colour that the town had once had.
The circus had set up camp in a nearby field and the performers were working tirelessly against the blizzard. Alex hobbled out of his caravan towards a large tent in the centre of the camp. Inside, there were benches and cooking equipment, now occupied by Alley who was frying sausages and bacon, filling the tent with the scent of food. He slumped down next to Dorothy, tired from the walk from his caravan.
“You shouldn’t be up!” Dorothy cried at the sight of him.
“If I stay in bed another day, I think I’ll die of boredom!” joked Alex, trying to be happy.
“You ok?” Dorothy asked, now serious.
“I guess so.” Alex murmured.
“That means no. But you made the right choice. A sign of a good ringleader.”
Alex grunted in reply. He didn’t really want to be a ringleader. Not without Amber. He felt that she was the only person missing. She was but a hole inside him. Next to the one Dane had been in. He couldn’t lose anyone else. Not now.
However hard he was trying to forget Amber, he couldn’t. She was imprinted in his mind forever.

The circus wasn’t playing a show until the following night. They didn’t quite know how they were going