The Circus by Kestral Volta (desktop ebook reader txt) 📕

upon his face.
“Amber? Why are you holding hands with the gypsy-fucker? You might get rabies.” He joked, looking at Alex.
“Leave me alone, Keith! Why do you always insist on scaring away every guy I meet! Just leave me alone and let me live my life!” Amber argued.
“But, you see, the thing is that I still love you!” said Keith, solemnly.
“I stopped loving you a long time ago! Just get over it! Come on, Alex.” Amber pulled Alex away and walked in the other direction. Alex thought that they were just standing there, letting them leave, when he was pushed to the ground, violently. He heard Amber scream, somewhere in the background, but he couldn’t quite hear her through the painful kicks and punches the guys were giving him. He felt his stomach begin kicked at, relentlessly. There were several sharp blows to his jaw and head and his back. He heard another scream and this time, a deep, familiar yell. Alex craned his neck and looked up at Garry’s huge frame, looming over Keith. Alex could make out the figures of the rest of the group backing away, some were already turning tail. Eventually, Keith followed. Garry bent down and hauled Alex to his feet.
“Alex, are you ok?” he asked in a gruff voice.
“I’m fine. What’s up? Aren’t you s’pose to be rehearsing?” asked Alex, slightly perplexed.
“Yes, but it’s Dane! You have to come back to camp, now!” he explained, his urgent tone sending cold shivers down Alex’s spine. He took Amber’s hand made for camp.

Once there, Garry led them to Dane’s trailer. It was one of the more elaborate trailers, painted bright yellow with red and green swirls. There were big, bold letters in swirly, red writing that read Circus Atlantis. Alex had always thought it to be over-the-top.
Outside his trailer, most of the performers were gathered. Alex told Amber to wait outside with the others and entered the trailer after Garry. Only Dorothy was sat by Dane’s bedside. Alex’s blood ran cold at the sight of Dane- he looked so different...so ill.
“He asked for you.” explained Dorothy.
“What’s happened to him?” Alex wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to his question.
“He’s had a heart attack. There’s not much we can do for him.” Those were the precise words Alex didn’t want to hear.
“Well, we have to get him to a hospital! Now!”
“He doesn’t want to. He wants to talk to you.” Explained Dorothy, standing and offering Alex the chair.
Alex sat down in the chair and looked at Dane’s pale face. Dane reached for Alex’s hand and turned his head towards him. Dane’s hand felt cold and fragile beneath Alex’s. His breath was coming out in uneven splutters, as if each word was a struggle.
“Alex...I need you to listen...I need to tell you the truth...before I...” he wheezed.
“Slow down.” Soothed Alex.
“I...I...I didn’t find you when you were a child...I was so desperate! So desperate for a child. You have to understand! I watched her take you away...I watched her as she bent over you with a cushion...I couldn’t let it happen...I had her arrested. Your mother was mentally ill, she killed your Father, among others...she’s safe now, far away from harm...” he coughed. Alex couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. But surely these were just the ramblings of an old man about to die. But he wasn’t going to die. Was he? “I saved you, Alex...I saved you from a cruel heart. They didn’t know what to do with you, so I took you. You were the greatest gift I have ever received...I love you, Alex. The circus is yours. You have a responsibility, now. Without you, these people have nowhere to go. Without you, without the circus, these people have nothing. Look after them.” Dane coughed once more before the breath left his body and death took him in it’s icy grasp.
Alex held Dane’s hand for a moment longer before dropping it and clamping his hands over his face and weeping.
A moment later he felt cool hands on his arms, a soothing voice filling his ears. Alex felt the hands easing him to his feet and leading him out of the trailer and back, through the camp to his caravan. Once inside, he slumped down onto his sofa, sobs wracking his body. Amber sat next to him, soothing him. She was singing a song that he didn’t recognise, but it sounded like one she had sung many times- her voice stroked the words as if out of habit, caressing the notes and the pitch. Her voice ran through his heart, soothing the pain that flared there.
Alex soon fell asleep to the sound of her voice.

It was evening when Alex woke. His eyes were heavy with gunk and sleep. He glanced to his right to see Amber’s sleeping form rested upon his shoulder. He sat there, thinking.
Dane was gone.
He couldn’t quite believe it. All these years, Dane had been there, advising, instructing. You could always talk to him because he was always there and never went anywhere. So reliable that Alex had always taken him for granted. He had been more than a father to him. He had been a teacher, a listener.
But what he had said confused Alex. Dane hadn’t found Alex abandoned- he had lied. That meant his Mother was still alive, out there somewhere. She had tried to kill him. She had killed his father. Although Alex wanted to leave the subject well alone, curiosity carried him along on it’s current and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to find her and talk to her. To just see her would be enough. Alex had lived a life without a Mother; this may be his only chance to find out what having one is like. Alex decided against telling this to anyone, most of all Amber.
But then there was his responsibility as the new ringleader! He was in charge, now. He didn’t know quite where to begin. But one thing Alex knew for certain: they couldn’t stay here!
The locals were already getting far too aggressive towards them and, although they were due to do another performance tonight (which started in an hour) Alex didn’t think it would benefit them to stay any longer.
But then there was Amber. Could he leave her? This was the first time he had loved someone. It was the first time someone had accepted him for who he was! If he stayed, the locals would surely become more aggressive; therefore, he would be putting her directly in the line of fire! So he should leave her. Or was he just making up excuses?
Amber stirred in his arms. She smiled up at him and then yawned. Alex stood and wiped his eyes. He went to the table and sat, resting his head in his hands. Alex fought the harsh sobs that shook his body.
So this was what grief felt like. It was as if something had ripped a hole in his heart and all that gathered in the wound was sadness, hate and anger. There, they festered and grew, attracting all sorts of other emotions.
Amber sat opposite him. “It’s ok, you know. I’ve lost parents too.” She smiled. Alex felt better that Amber was with him. He didn’t know what he’d be like if she wasn’t! He smiled back and held her soft, fragile hands.
There was a knock at the door and Garry’s mop of black hair appeared behind it. He looked round and saw Alex and Amber sat at the table. Smiling he said, quietly, “The shows cancelled tonight, guys. We’re gonna have a funeral in the woods instead.” Garry lingered for a moment, and then vanished, the door closing behind him.
Alex looked back at Amber. “Before Dane...died-” it didn’t seem right when he said it. “-he gave me the circus. He left me in charge.”
Amber looked at him for a moment. “Wow, that’s a pretty big responsibility.”
“I know. I guess this means that I’m in charge now.” Alex still couldn’t quite believe it, despite the niggle of happiness in his stomach. He was proud that Dane should bestow such a responsibility. He obviously trusted Alex more than he should have. “I don’t really know where to start.”
“So, are you the ringleader now? Do you have to introduce the shows and that?” Amber asked.
“I...I guess so. He did say that I’d have to come out of my shell soon. I think he knew that he hadn’t got much longer.” mused Alex.
“He was only 50...something.”
“Hm” Alex stood and made for the door. Amber followed.

The funeral was horrible. Alex couldn’t stop bawling all the way through it! Amber was allowed to stay; convinced her Aunt wouldn’t be worried. The whole company carried Dane’s body out, into a disused part of the forest that surrounded the small town, to a funeral pyre pre-made by the Bendies earlier in the afternoon. They all made a huge circle around it and placed Dane’s body atop the pyre.
Before lighting it, Garry made a speech.
“We are stood here today, remembering an amazing man. He treated the circus with compassion and respect- it was his pride and joy. Each individual performer meant the world to him! He was such a perfect performer! Nothing would faze him- he’d go out onto that stage and he’d wow the world! But then, something even more precious fell into his life. Alex came to him, his son. Dane’s life was complete. But then it was cruelly taken from him. A heart attack was the end of him, for he valued the circus and his son more than his health.”
Alex listened to Garry’s voice, not really taking in what he was saying, but letting the muffled words hit his ears. He couldn’t help but shed a tear or too and, looking round at Amber who gripped his hand with hers, Amber was letting silent tears run down her cheeks too. He remembered what she had said about her parents; maybe they weren’t mourning for only one person tonight.
“Yet, we may have lost a great ringleader, but we have gained an even better one!” Alex found himself standing up a little straighter at Garry’s words. “Dane entrusted the circus to one who he loved and trusted the most. He left in good hands. Dane loved us all very much and wouldn’t leave us lost.” Garry concluded and took a torch that was leant up against a tree and held it up while Alley lit it. Flames flares around the tip of the torch and Garry held the torch to the bottom of the pyre. Flames immediately licked around the bottom, dancing in between the logs and twigs, eventually consuming Dane’s body whole.
Once the body was lost within the orange glow of the fire, people started to leave and make their way back to camp. Soon, only Alex and Amber remained.
They stood, gazing into the hypnotic flames, Amber’s head rested upon Alex’s shoulder.

When the time came to leave, Alex found himself being eased away from the simmering pyre by Amber.
“Come on. Let’s go. We can’t stay here.” Amber whispered.
Alex let her take him by the hand and lead him away.
The forest was silent, except for the chirping of crickets and the wind shivering through the trees. The occasional bat would fly over their heads and disappear into the gloom. Alex found it oddly comforting in the silence. His thoughts remained his own.
Only one other person