love lust by Yliana Martinez (read this if txt) 📕

Mythbusters but mostly I watch Mythbusters because come on it hilarious. I fall asleep watching it. When I wake in the morning I wake up before mom which has now become the norm since dad’s passing, I turn on the stove, grab a pan and cook some eggs. I know I must eat or else they will send me back still I don’t feel comfortable and eat the littlest portions possible without stopping all together. the monster voices whisper in my ear at least now they don’t scream but recently they have been quieter but I don’t trust it will stay that way. I sprinkle little grains of salt over the eggs and the voices start don’t eat that you fat grubby little pig pause between chew which I still take 30 chews each for everything I eat look what you’ve done now you will probably get so fat you will explode. I feel like screaming and throwing plates and pulling out my hair but then this family will really be doomed because I am the one that now must keep her composure and not crack no matter what. I continue to chew on the eggs and after a while the voice gives up more or less and becomes only a hushed whisper. I finish my eggs in about 45 minutes better than it was 3 months ago when it took me at least an hour to finish anything. I call Grace which I haven’t talked to in quite a while “Hello?” she answers the phone sleepily I had forgotten that it was only 9:30 “Yeah sorry for calling so early I forgot the time.”  “Oh no prob, what’s up stranger you haven’t called me or Mia, we were starting to worry that you had forgotten about us.” I feel really bad for not calling them in so long but at the same time I have been busy with making sure my mom is okay and talking to Anthony. I get defensive “Hey it doesn’t seem like you were putting in too much effort either.” I want to take back every word as soon as they come out of my mouth but it’s too late, I have said it and can’t take it back. “I don’t see why you have to catch an attitude and to be honest I don’t think I deserved it either.” I already feel like shit and she’s just making it worse “I’m sorry okay it’s just been so rough on me since,” I choke up and can’t manage to finish the sentence.  "Oh Anna." grace says tenderly the metal now out of her tone, I sob on the phone not tears but full-on sobs where you gasp for air and snot runs from your nose. "Anna-bell," grace now says a bit of alarm in her voice "do you need me to come over?" I nod and wait "Anna you still there?" I had forgotten that she couldn't see me "Ye.. Yes." "I'll be there in an hour." and I hang up after about ten more minutes I pull myself off the kitchen floor and inspect the damage and now I'm glad that grace couldn't see me, i have bags under my eyes. I put on some concealer to cover up the bags and a bit of blush so that it looks natural. the light is blinding as they drag me into the hospital, i put up a fight but it’s not much as I weigh only 95 pounds (which in my opinion is way too close to the triple digits for comfort.) they strap me to the bed and put a feeding tube into my mouth, somewhere in the distance I hear my mother’s muffled cry. I try to look around but they must have strapped something on my head too, I start to panic I can feel liquid being pumped into me by the tube; I know that they are filling me with calories trying to turn me into a plump little pig. I refuse to let it happen, I squirm until a nurse has to come in and inject something so that I would go to sleep. 2 days pass with the same routine: wake up from the meds, try to get the tube out my mouth, the nurse walks in and its back to sleep. after going though it over and over i give in i stop trying i let them get me fat for now; later on that day a doctor walks in presses the button on my bed to turn on the built in scale and weights me "You're making amazing progress 2 whole pounds in just 3 days; you'll be out in no time at all." the doctor informs me, I am horrified at what I hear 2 whole pound in such a short amount of time within a week I probably won't be able to walk anymore because I'll be to huge they will have to roll me everywhere. Just stay calm if you let them do this to you for a little longer they will take out the tube then you will be off bed rest and you can figure out a way to work it off without them knowing I think to myself. it takes 2 more days and another pound before they take the feeding tube out and allow me to walk, before I can enjoy this sweet freedom a nurse which I now know is named Cass walks in and hands me the schedule of when we eat, when we can have our free time, and group meeting times and says "If you try anything slick I will make sure you are back on that bed fasted than you can even realize what’s happening." That’s when I decide I hate Cass but Idon't voice my opinion instead I walk over to the mirror I look a hot mess my hair is greasy and my eyes are puffy from crying, I turn to her "Do you guys have any make up Ican use?" she looks at me like I belong in a room patted with sponge but she answers "No need your family brought you most of your belongings including your make up." she walks out of the room and returns soon after with a crate that carries all my stuff; she puts it on the floor and leaves the room without another word. thank god I think as Ilook though the crate, at last I find my makeup I unzip the bag and take out my concealer, I then head to the mirror and apply it; determining it looks to unnatural I add a little blush. I hear the doorbell ring; I open the door and am enveloped into a hug Grace's head is squishing into my shoulder as she says "I missed you." I smile at that small comment and reply "I missed you too." she finally lets me go and looks around "well this place has gone to hell." all I can do is nod my head because it’s true. She starts picking up and I say "What are you doing?" she looks back at me and smiles "Well cleaning duh I can't let you just sit in here like this now come help out cause I'm not your maid either." I look at her oh god she is awesome. I grab the broom and start to sweep the kitchen "whatever happen to lover boy?" Grace asks in an innocent voice "Oh I still talk to him and we go out now so yeah." Grace's mouth drops "And this all happened when!" "Like a week ago when we went on our first date." I am blushing, she smiles and we go back to cleaning, after what feels like hours we finish. "I gotta go to work but I'll be back to check on you tomorrow." grace informs me; I lead her out the door and give her one last hug goodbye. Once Grace is gone and I'm back in the house I go to check on my mom even though it’s pointless because she won't even talk to me, still I walk up the stairs and knock on her door "Mom?" I say before entering "are you okay? Do you need anything, are you hungry?" she is just simply looking into the backyard threw her window. I wish I could help her but I can't so I leave the room and call Anthony "hello." Anthony answers "I'm ready." is all I simply say but he understands what I mean "Are you sure?" he asks "I'm positive." I reply "I'll be there to pick you up in like 40 minutes." and with that we hang up and I go to get dressed and ready. i wonder if this will make our relationship stronger or will it fail, i've had friends that had that happen to them; god i hope with everything that is good and great that doesn't happen to us. This is it

Chapter 11: this is it (Anthony)  

                            

 This is it, she told me she was ready but am I? I'm on my way to her house right now I just wonder if this is a good idea I wonder if she's just saying this out of rash action to her father's death I wonder if she will regret it after, but I can't just not go through with it cause she already told me she wanted to so I can't say that I don't want to use her. Well I'm already at her house and we will find out if it will work out soon. I go to the door to knock but before I even can she opens the door and jumps into my arms taking me into a hug, I hug her back and say "Are you sure your ready cause Anna-bell if you’re not it’s okay I'm not going to pressure you." she looks into my eyes passion burning "Yes I'm sure, 100 percent sure Anthony." and kisses me I break away and say "Okay then." I walk her back over to my car and we are backing out of her driveway when a lady appears from her house before I can even say a word she says "Go." and so I keep backing out and go onto the main road. It doesn't take too long to get back to my house where in my room candles are lit and there is a rose in vase just so that she knows that it’s as special to me as to her. "Okay here we go." I say a bit nervous as we walk into the house, she looks up at me and smiles easing my nerves slightly. we walk into my room and the look on her face is one of surprise "I wasn't expecting all this." she whispers to me, I turn her on the ball of her feet and say "anything for you." and start to kiss her slowly not rushing not needy just a passionate kiss soft and simple. Then Ilay her on the bed and mound on top of her kissing her with a slight more need and she returns it with the same. after a while she starts to work the