Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

"Once he wakes up, I'm not going to let him go. I'll move into his apartment if that's what it takes." I added extra sugar into the cup of coffee.

My phone in the back pocket of my denims began to vibrate, using phones during duty was a strict NO NO but with what was going on, I could live with breaking some rules. Getting fired off a job wasn't going to kill me anyway.

"Dwight!" I almost shrieked on the phone.

"There's some good news for you."

My insides twisted into little knots with excitement and anticipation, "Tell me, Dwight."

"Rowan has gained consciousness and the first word he uttered was 'Minnie', but he called out to you.  you know what to do babe? Get your ass moving fast."

"If this is some kind of a nasty prank, you're so dead, Dwight." I clicked the phone shut, letting it tumble back into my denim pockets. I pulled at the apron; it came off loose and bundled on the floor.

I threw a fist in the air and jumped into Gabriel's arms, "WHOA, girl, slow down."

He chuckled softly, patting the back of my head, "what happened? Your heart is hammering."

I pulled apart and watched his eyes smoulder, my excitement was going to give out some very wrong signals. I pulled my act together as my legs touched the ground, "My prince charming is waking up from his spell and I need to see him right now."

"Well, can I be your fairy god mother and offer you a ride in my pumpkin?"

Gabriel stared at me in awe as I giggled, "You don't have to Gabe, I don't want to jeopardize your job."

"Leave that for me to worry." He wasn't taking no for an answer, he pulled down his own apron, "Rose, cover for us."

Rose twirled from her grill station, "No problem, boss."

***

The ride in Gabe's beat up truck was pretty slow; the guy jogging on the street was much faster. He kept apologizing for his car. What with the rumbling noises of the engine, I thought the parts of the car would come apart before we even reached the hospital on time. Thankfully, the car was stronger than I thought. I had a better idea; maybe I'd ship my little beetle from back home and let Gabe use it. It wasn't like my parents were driving it. I sure as hell knew it was parked where I'd left it in the garage, catching dust.

I dashed into the hospital building, Gabe remained close behind me. Dwight lingered just outside the door, signing some papers frantically, the thin rims of spectacles hovering over his nose. He seemed to be in deep conversation with the nurse, I watched as the blond petit woman squirm shyly, grinning at something Dwight had mentioned and as if Dwight had sensed me walk in, he glanced up to meet my gaze, "Hey." Then his eyes took a turn and landed on Gabriel, "And who might your friend be?"

"Dwight this is Gabriel, friend and co-worker and Gabe, this is Dwight. Rowan's older brother."

Gabe was the first one to offer a hand shake; Dwight stared at the hand for a moment calculating whether he really wanted to take it and a second later he took his hand without hesitation, "Alana's friends are my friends. Pleased to meet you."

"Uh..Yeah, same here." Gabriel was clearly intimidated by Dwight, "I'll stay here, Alana."

I nodded. The excitement wouldn't stay at bay, it was like meeting your crush for the very first time, "Can I go inside?"

"You can but word to the wise, my lady, stressful arguments is off limits. You know what I mean?"

"Aye, aye Captain."

I took a deep breath as I pushed the door to the I.C.U room open and spotted Claire seated close to Rowan. His bed had reclined upward which had pulled him in a seating position. There was a flutter of butterflies in my chest the second I saw him. Claire rose from her seat, "I'll leave you guys alone."

She winked at me, leaving me to deal with the awkward situation.

Rowan stared at me, remaining tape-lipped, waiting for my reaction. I was all mixed emotions, I wanted to yell at him and I wanted to even apologize for being such a self-centred bitch.

I cleared my throat, "Hi."

Rowan shrugged. Unable to make eye-contact, he murmured, "Hi."

"How are you feeling?" I took the vacated seat next to him.

"Better."

Rowan was playing the mono word game with me again which I so wasn't good at but then he totally stunned me by saying, "I'm sorry."

I caught his intense gaze for a good second, "I'm the one who is supposed to be sorry, not you. Leaving you alone during your darkest time was my mistake, I should've stayed longer but baby, I had no idea that you'd go so far as to..." I couldn't complete the sentence; something just flew in my eye.

Rowan's hand rested over mine, the painful looking injection cap remained inserted, "Baby, don't cry and stop blaming yourself. I'm responsible for my actions. You don't need to cover for me. I have the ability to perceive each and everything in the worst way. I know how scared you were, I saw the way you looked at me and I didn't know what to do. I just flipped when I watched you walk away, but that's how insecure I'm. The real me. The egocentric man, who was seeking for his girlfriend's attention. That's how messed up I'm. I knew I was doing wrong and yet I reached for the gun. I wanted to put an end to everything. It's not even a justification, Alana; I just want you to know how I felt, and I'm ashamed of it."

He then noticed the ring he'd given me and those beautiful dimples kicked in, "You're wearing that?"

"How could I not." I turned crimson like a freakin school girl confessing.

"Do you still love me Alana?" Rowan blinked, trying hard not to daunt me with his anxiousness.

"Ofcourse I do. I love you so much Rowan, that I'm scared....Scared that I might lose myself one day."