Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

 I woke with a bad start, my head throbbed like it had been minced into tiny pieces and put through a grinder.

It was that bad.

How did I end up in my dorm room, in my bed? I had lost the remaining amount of consciousness last night when I stepped in Dwight's car and I couldn't recall even riding it. I pulled away the comforter and heard footsteps closing in on me. I looked up to see Nina approaching me with a mug of hot chocolate; she perched at the edge of the bed, "Are you okay?"

I snorted, "I've been asked the same question a gazillion times since yesterday. Well, do I look okay?"

"You look shit."

I nodded, at least she was being honest. I loved that part about Nina. She didn't sugar coat anything, "Thanks. I wasn't expecting any better."

I enjoyed my little cup of paradise, "So how did I end up in bed?"

"Let me see..." she pretended to think, steering a spoon in her mug, "You never told me Rowan Masters had a sexy doppelganger. He was the one who carried you in. Said you fell asleep in his car."

"That's Rowan's older brother, Dwight." I told her refraining from throwing back comic comebacks. I wasn't feeling right for it just yet.

"Introduce me to him?" her eyes twinkled.

"Sure."

Dwight could try and charm Nina's panties off, but then again. I'd be jeopardizing Chez's new budding relationship.

I grabbed my phone off the dresser to check for new messages from Dwight but there weren't any. I figured I had to cut class and call in sick at work. Gabe could work as a good cover since calling Manager Blake wouldn't be such a killer idea. He'd just dig me a new route to hell hole.

My continuous mind mapping was cut off by Nina, "we are friends, right? Alana?"

"What? Ofcourse we are. Why that question all of a sudden?"

She shrugged, her shoulders squared. She was in need of a snickers bar, "I don't know. It feels like, you're kind of hiding stuff from me."

"Let me guess the author of your accusation." I took another sip of my hot chocolate, letting the goodness of the flavours to cheer me up a little. Nothing was working yet, "Chez is the answer."

"Not exactly." She bit her lip, "Is something the matter? Something bothering you? You can tell me."

"Rowan just had a very horrible car accident; he'd probably be dead if I hadn't reached on time. The doctors say that he has a forty percent chance of making it out of it. Alive. If that constitutes as a bother than yes, things are bothering me."

Nina's hands went to her gaping mouth, "How? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You told me Dwight brought me in. Didn't he fill you in on that bit of information?"

"No, he just said you were exhausted." She bit her trimmed nails out of nervousness, "I thought you guys were out together with Rowan so I didn't enquire."

When I didn't say a word she continued, "It's not just about yesterday, Alana, I've watched you stress all week. You hang out with us yet your mind wanders elsewhere. I'm just concerned for you is all. I'm probably over-reacting because every relationship has some minor problems if that's what this is about."

"Yeah, you're right. Every damn relationship has problems, but guess what? My problems aren't normal or minor. My relationship problems don't start with Facebook fights on which stranger I added or end with 'which guy I was flirting with'. I wish my problems were that simple but my problems start with my boyfriend getting drunk and ends with him lying in an I.C.U bed." Crying for twenty four hours straight had managed to an end to my non-stop tears.

"I'm sorry Alana."

I was entitled to the word 'Sorry' more times than I could count.

She continued, "It's just that, I don't want you to bottle up all your emotions. I'm here if you want to talk."

"I don't deserve Rowan, Nina, I did so much for him and yet it wasn't enough. Right now, he is in the hospital because of me, because I screwed up. He has a family who cares for him, a daughter who cannot live without him and I...." Nina hugged me close to her, cutting me out.

"You don't need to say anything." I nodded back, "He's gonna be okay."

***

Nina and I cut class to visit the hospital. Chez tagged along with us and when we reached the hospital, I was surprised to see the throngs of people hurdled near the I.C.U wing.

All of them were University students and faculty.

I found Dwight between the swarms of people, looking stressed and half-dead. He spoke to the doctor and allowed me the visitation. The room smelled of fresh flowers, filled with 'get well soon' cards from ex-students that Rowan taught. His eyes remained closed; I touched his hand lightly, taking a seat next to the bed. I spoke to him even though he couldn't hear me; I told him each and everything going on, stuff that I couldn't tell him when he was conscious. That was the drill for the entire week. I made sure I spent quality time next to Rowan. I wasn't going to give up on the little hope I still had within me. Every single night I'd cry myself to sleep and only dream about Rowan talking back to me. Every stream of morning light came off as a reason for me to wake up. I waited for that moment when I'd receive a call from the hospital informing me that he'd woken up.

"You look happy today, Alana?" Gabriel noticed me smiling to myself, "does that mean Rowan is okay?"

I pushed an empty coffee cup into the dispenser, I still sucked at making coffee but with Gabriel around me all the time, I was beginning to pick on a few magic tricks, "The doctors told me he was recovering, almost like a miracle. That's good news right? I mean, he had only forty percent chances of living."

"I'm happy for you, my love" he smiled genuinely at me, that warm soothing angelic halo-ish smile, "It's great to see you smile after so long."