Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

This should be easy, right? WRONG! This woman could ask a very simple question and take a turn on the wrong intersection. So far, I could not sense the hidden agenda behind the question.

"I read books. I like to write and I..."

"What do you write about?"

"Just anything, it doesn't necessarily have to be a dairy entry. I just write poems. Not really reading worthy."

Sofia grinned. "Interesting. I want you to do what you're doing and I'd like to read those poems the next time we have our little interactions if I'm not asking too much."

Fuck! Hadn't seen that one coming.

"I'll see if I can."

"I want to." She seemed pleased, "And don't be stupid enough to dump it in the fire place or something. I'll know what you are up to. I've been working in this faculty for twenty years for a reason. "

I felt a twitch of sympathy for Sofia's husband and children. It was a given who ran the show at her house.

I nodded. When was the last time I'd been ordered to do something? I couldn't remember.

"Rowan, it's been half a month and I wouldn't say you're doing very well but I think talking about your emotions is an improvement. I will prescribe you a medication which I suggest you take only during emergencies."

"Thanks, Sofia."

"And also, I want you to make an effort of interacting with the patients here. When you find free time after your reading and writing, try the mini soccer table? Game of chess? Be a sport, Rowan, make some new friends. Making friends isn't rocket science. Don't isolate yourself so much. With time, I bet you will enjoy yourself here. Who knows maybe you'd even force us to make your stay here for an extended period of time."

I was convinced. This woman was fucking delusional.

I smiled in agreement trying to hide my discomfort. "I will try my best to live up to your expectations."

"Not my expectations. You shouldn't give a shit about what I think or what I want. You're doing this for yourself, Rowan. The fight isn't going to be easy and nor is it going to end. Your goal is simple. It's Survival."

"I will look forward to our next session." She said putting back her spectacles and scribing down in a manila file.

"Me too." I turned to her, "And Sofia?"

She looked up from the file, "Thanks."

She acknowledged me with a nod and a smile which told me I was dismissed. My stomach growled with the lack of breakfast I had in the morning. I jogged my way downstairs towards the lunch area, for once, glad to be told I was walking the right path for redemption. The old rotten road to the Dysfunction world would soon be closed. Forever.

***

 Alana 

I stared at the two pairs of keys on the dresser, wondering if I had the stomach of moving into Rowan's apartment and accepting the kind of independent life Rowan clearly wanted me to live. The answer was pretty straight. I wasn't doing this. I decided to live in the dorms while keeping a close eye on the apartment while the car remained parked in the dorm parking lot with a full tank. Rowan had taken the scholarship thing too seriously.

I spent my weekend cleaning up the apartment and watching some soap operas. I even connected the Play Station consoles and played a zombie slasher game. It did help me to take my mind off him but that didn't help to fill in that gap forming in my hollow chest. It just grew wider by the minute. I missed having Rowan around; I missed hearing him call out to me from the kitchen, yelling at me to maximize the distance for television viewing. The day ended in a bat of an eye.

The phone on the dresser never rang. Every single day, I spent a quality time staring at the phone, propelling it to ring. It never did. Being unemployed couldn't be more fun though, I had a lot of time on my hands. I even drove Rowan's huge car around and lurked around the mall staring at the cheerful people.

While I remained occupied in homework and fixing dinner on Friday, the phone rang. I did not recognize the number so I only assumed it was Rowan.

"Rowan." my heart sped up.

"Hi, baby girl. It's me." The voice on the other end sucked the air out of my lungs as I was blinded by tears.

"Dad?"

"Yes, baby. It's daddy." I couldn't seem to recall the last time I heard his voice. It had been what? Two months? I began to think he never cared. His voice came off as controlled, coupled with a mixture of tenderness but I wasn't going to let it fool me again this time. Rick Hayes was a well-established attorney in Ridgewell and sounding controlled was also part of his job. Something he was very good at.

After a good few seconds of silence, I asked, "What do you want, Dad?"

"What's that supposed to mean, Al? I wanted to talk to you." He explained.

"Talk about what?" I continued in the same icy tone. "Are you going to repeat the same thing Mom said to me? Are you going to tell me that I'm a whore for sleeping with the..."

"NO..baby, please." Dad had a weak voice, one that was filled with anguish. "I never believed a word of that. I knew you would not do something like that. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I truly am."

I didn't know what to say. I had been expecting to be blown off with a few other things like being disowned this time but apology was not one of them.

When I refused to answer he said, "I did not block your cards or cut off your financial recourses. You have to believe me; I didn't do that. I never would. Yes, I was disappointed about what I had heard from the dean's secretary and I agreed with the punishment your mother decided on but trust me, sweetheart, I had no clue the cards were still blocked. I thought she would let you use them after a week."