My Skeptical Thoughts by Suleman Nasir (book club suggestions .txt) 📕

Despite its omnipresence, there are a handful of misconceived ideas in regard to an arranged marriage. Many deem it as a relic of the past and misinterpret it as forced marriage. There is a fine line between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage; arranged marriages are orchestrated by cordial consent of both the male and the female, whereas this is not the case in forced marriages. If a marriage is consensual it will, by force of circumstance, bring the right people together; when right people cluster together, mutual affection unavoidably follows. It is plain cause and effect.

In an arranged marriage, two individuals set out on a new lane together as ‘known strangers’, but as time elapses they either grow fonder or become wary of being together; it is the astounding power of care, respect, and solicitude that brings them together; and the lack thereof that splits them apart. A marriage does not demand any wondrous tasks or impractical sacrifices, but it is the tiny and insignificant actions that reflect love and affection. Lending a hand in day to day chores, assisting in the upkeep of children, respecting each other’s needs and closely-held wishes, being wide awake to one another’s worries, and celebrating every small moment whole-heartedly proves to be a well-spring of affection and love.

In an arranged marriage, love is the last port of call followed by a maze of paths; it is the path of respect, solicitude, empathy, concern, compassion, kindness and tenderness that pave way for love to sprout. To tell the truth, those who employ these paths do not find love; love finds them.

Chapter 17

Snakes in the Grass

“A nation can survive its fools and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banners openly.”

–Marcus Julius Cicero

A nation, like a gigantic tree, is anchored by its masses, who serve to be its roots and undergird it with their blood, toil, and sweat. Every individual or community as a whole when abide by their commitments, it is only then that a nation flourishes exponentially. A nation’s roots, that grant life and vigor to it, for one thing, regress into parasites when its citizenry begins to renege on their obligations and promises. To bring destruction or to bring about peace unlike any we have known, it all depends on the commitment of each person.

The word ‘Nation’ is merely a construct and possesses no independent identity, it is the assemblage of its people that constitute it. A nation banks not only on its institutions but also hinges on every one of its dwellers to thrive. Every trivial or significant measure that its pupil takes alters the course of a nation’s fate.

The word ‘traitor/treason’ is of a lurid and flagrant aura, but lamentably, every nation, without knowing it, harbors traitors in its folds. Such people ostensibly masquerade as responsible and reverend citizens but wreak havoc insidiously and subtly.

He, who shirks his duties, commits treason; the one who adulterates edibles rendering them unfit for consumption is disloyal to his soil. He emits infidelity, who usurps the rights of others, and he who carries out vandalism destroying public and private properties is a back-stabber. Such individuals inflict harm upon their nation from within and are far more hazardous than an enemy who scars only from the outside. A man who litters the streets and defaces the walls with impermissible graffiti is as guilty of treason as the man who embezzles money from the treasury, for both are robbing their nation of its splendor. A teacher or a mentor, who fails to indoctrinate his mentee with morality, ethics, etiquette, and the becoming ways of life, does a disfavor to his nation since he mars its most prized asset. A doctor, to whom affluence of wealth is foremost interest than the service to his fellow beings is like a wolf in a sheep’s clothing, as he by the dint of his callous ways, prolongs the sufferings of his patients, rather than pacifying them. A politician, who by his beguiling and highfalutin monologues lures people into voting him and after being elected runs amok intoxicated by power, is a thorn in a nation’s flesh. It is all these hideous actions that are overlooked often, yet deal a fatal blow to a nation’s health, and the people who indulge in these heinous acts are the ones called ‘the snakes in the grass’, poisoning the same bosom that nourished them.

Foundation of a nation is laid down brick by brick by its settlers. It is not only those at the helm but every single one of its populace that ushers it towards prosperity, and it is also their ill-considered ways that derail it from such path. Setting aside the facades we curate, it is our frequent and day to day doings that determine whether we are true, loyal heirs of our nation or merely green snakes in the grass.

Chapter 18

A Water Thicker Than Blood

“A friend is someone who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”

-Anonymous

Almost every one of us has stumbled upon the celebrated proverb of 12th Century, “Blood is thicker than water”, that awards preference to familial and blood relations over those that we forge at our own accord. It is reckoned that it is only blood relations that harbor unadulterated concern for us and only they can be relied upon when tribulations loom. Blood relations are put on a pedestal on account of their direct contribution to our upkeep and for rendering us on our feet; we are indebted to our kith and kin for nurturing us and catering to essentials required for our survival.

Disregarding the indispensable role of blood relations will be sheer injustice; they should be raised a toast to, for their irreplaceable services. We are born into a family by chance, but there are some relations that we weave by choice, namely friendships. Man is a social being; he at all times remains in search of peers who share the same frame of mind, interests, dispositions, temperament, ambitions, and perspective as his. Friendship, though a bond formed on impalpable grounds, is as crucial as familial relations. There are innumerous matters that one can not divulge before parents or siblings given the unbridgeable communication gap or insurmountable age barriers; this is where a friend comes into play. Our emotional baggage is disembarrassed to some degree when we are girdled by our friends, who pay heed to the griefs that vex us; burden shared is a burden halved. Friends, like a wall, are entities on whom we can lean on when life topples us down. It will not be false to say that friendship is an ointment for the pangs of life.

Prolonged solitude is unnatural and insufferable for us; friendship tends to be an outlet to bring our need for social intimacy to fulfillment. Quality interaction with our friends, bartering personal and private thoughts and feelings, a satisfaction of being listened to, understood and cared for results in rendering our hearts well up with tranquility and satisfaction. It also shows promise to our psychological prosperousness. Often some quality time with friends turns out to be an effective therapy for one’s worries.

Friendship also lends a fair share in our progression. Those we deem as our bosom-friends possess the power to fill the air in our sails by means of their words of motivation and appreciation. Friends who have the same set of goals and dreams, like a tribe, grow together; they push each other to key their efforts to higher pitches. Being in the herd of friends who talk only of obscenity, indulge in profane and immoral activities, and mercilessly waste time leads only to ruination; in the same vein, being in the company of those friends who talk only of growth, self-betterment, deliberate on new ideas will doubtlessly lead to one’s intellectual evolution.

“Friends are the siblings God never gave us.”

Friendship is a bond of immense splendor. God’s proclamation that the righteous ones are His friends added a divine touch to the institution of friendship. It was in return for Abraham’s unmatched sacrifices and unflinching love for God that brought him the precious title of “The friend of God.”

Friendship is a treasured gift conferred upon man, but it is contingent on man’s own choice that makes it a blessing or a curse. A friend of bad character and conduct will only summon catastrophe, but when a friend is chosen wisely, the blood of that union is not less sacred than the water of the womb.

Chapter 19

An Enslaved Generation

“The difference between technology and slavery is that slaves are fully aware that they are not free.”

-Nassim Nicholas Taleb

As we took the chequered flag of 20th Century, we effected an entrance into an aeon of technological clout. Presently, we not only bank on technology for our work and leisure, but it is also dictating our lives. In the days of the yore, machines were merely tools in the hands of man, but today, it has gained the upper hand in both the potential and dominance.

The life of an individual of today is directed by the tin god that dwells in his pocket: the smartphone. In the present moment, two out of every three people would be riveted to their smartphones. We are addicted to our phones to such scale that giving up on them, even for a day, has become a hellacious and unthinkable task for us. The meteoric ascendance of social media has changed the lives of people for better or for worse. Social media has contributed a great chunk in instilling insecurities in the masses. Every user curates a charade of living a perfect and fulfilled life by churning out and posting meticulously and artistically filtered photos and other content that brews insecurities in the audience making them convinced by the false notion of them left behind and missing out on life. The core thrust of social media is to enlace people together, but in contrast, it has drifted them asunder. It has surely cemented people together in many ways, but it is barren of emotions, expressions, and intimacy that are the quintessence of human interactions. People, today, are more partial towards social media and texting rather than real socializing and interactions, which lead to misinterpreted and misconstrued conversations, eventually causing fissures and rifts in relationships and friendships. The surge of social media has brewed a farrago of our private and public lives dealing a fatal blow to our right to privacy; our locations, data, information pertaining to our interests and orientations rest in the hands of those holding the levers of these enterprises.

Generation of today, which I myself am a part of, is an enslaved generation as it is servile to social media and other paraphernalia to achieve happiness. We are abnormally enthralled by social media, for it grants a false and temporal feeling of approval. Getting complimented and positive feedbacks on photos and content dispenses a Dopamine hit, precipitating the feelings of pleasure, confidence, and self-esteem. Simultaneously, if one fails to get expected responses on social media, it causes a plunge in Serotonin levels, paving way for anxiety, depression, and stings of self-doubt. This is the sort of pleasure-pain seesaw that the generation of today bestrides on.

The rising tide of technology has, in many ways, browbeaten our survival. Agriculture, farming, industries, and firms once administered by human potential, is now under the sway of robust machinery and technology. This has made man irrelevant and has bereaved him of his employment and means of earning. The inculcation of Androids embedded with AI (Artificial Intelligence) has obviated the need for manpower.

Technology