War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy (latest ebook reader .TXT) π
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- Author: graf Leo Tolstoy
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The count moved in his affairs as in a huge net, trying not to believe that he was entangled but becoming more and more so at every step, and feeling too feeble to break the meshes or to set to work carefully and patiently to disentangle them. The countess, with her loving heart, felt that her children were being ruined, that it was not the countβs fault for he could not help being what he wasβthat (though he tried to hide it) he himself suffered from the consciousness of his own and his childrenβs ruin, and she tried to find means of remedying the position. From her feminine point of view she could see only one solution, namely, for Nicholas to marry a rich heiress. She felt this to be their last hope and that if Nicholas refused the match she had found for him, she would have to abandon the hope of ever getting matters right. This match was with Julie KarΓ‘gina, the daughter of excellent and virtuous parents, a girl the RostΓ³vs had known from childhood, and who had now become a wealthy heiress through the death of the last of her brothers.
The countess had written direct to Julieβs mother in Moscow suggesting a marriage between their children and had received a favorable answer from her. KarΓ‘gina had replied that for her part she was agreeable, and everything depend on her daughterβs inclination. She invited Nicholas to come to Moscow.
Several times the countess, with tears in her eyes, told her son that now both her daughters were settled, her only wish was to see him married. She said she could lie down in her grave peacefully if that were accomplished. Then she told him that she knew of a splendid girl and tried to discover what he thought about marriage.
At other times she praised Julie to him and advised him to go to Moscow during the holidays to amuse himself. Nicholas guessed what his motherβs remarks were leading to and during one of these conversations induced her to speak quite frankly. She told him that her only hope of getting their affairs disentangled now lay in his marrying Julie KarΓ‘gina.
βBut, Mamma, suppose I loved a girl who has no fortune, would you expect me to sacrifice my feelings and my honor for the sake of money?β he asked his mother, not realizing the cruelty of his question and only wishing to show his noble-mindedness.
βNo, you have not understood me,β said his mother, not knowing how to justify herself. βYou have not understood me, NikΓ³lenka. It is your happiness I wish for,β she added, feeling that she was telling an untruth and was becoming entangled. She began to cry.
βMamma, donβt cry! Only tell me that you wish it, and you know I will give my life, anything, to put you at ease,β said Nicholas. βI would sacrifice anything for youβeven my feelings.β
But the countess did not want the question put like that: she did not want a sacrifice from her son, she herself wished to make a sacrifice for him.
βNo, you have not understood me, donβt let us talk about it,β she replied, wiping away her tears.
βMaybe I do love a poor girl,β said Nicholas to himself. βAm I to sacrifice my feelings and my honor for money? I wonder how Mamma could speak so to me. Because SΓ³nya is poor I must not love her,β he thought, βmust not respond to her faithful, devoted love? Yet I should certainly be happier with her than with some doll-like Julie. I can always sacrifice my feelings for my familyβs welfare,β he said to himself, βbut I canβt coerce my feelings. If I love SΓ³nya, that feeling is for me stronger and higher than all else.β
Nicholas did not go to Moscow, and the countess did not renew the conversation with him about marriage. She saw with sorrow, and sometimes with exasperation, symptoms of a growing attachment between her son and the portionless SΓ³nya. Though she blamed herself for it, she could not refrain from grumbling at and worrying SΓ³nya, often pulling her up without reason, addressing her stiffly as βmy dear,β and using the formal βyouβ instead of the intimate βthouβ in speaking to her. The kindhearted countess was the more vexed with SΓ³nya because that poor, dark-eyed niece of hers was so meek, so kind, so devotedly grateful to her benefactors, and so faithfully, unchangingly, and unselfishly in love with Nicholas, that there were no grounds for finding fault with her.
Nicholas was spending the last of his leave at home. A fourth letter had come from Prince Andrew, from Rome, in which he wrote that he would have been on his way back to Russia long ago had not his wound unexpectedly reopened in the warm climate, which obliged him to defer his return till the beginning of the new year. NatΓ‘sha was still as much in love with her betrothed, found the same comfort in that love, and was still as ready to throw herself into all the pleasures of life as before; but at the end of the fourth month of their separation she began to have fits of depression which she could not master. She felt sorry for herself: sorry that she was being wasted all this time and of no use to anyoneβwhile she felt herself so capable of loving and being loved.
Things were not cheerful in the RostΓ³vsβ home.
Christmas came and except for the ceremonial Mass, the solemn and wearisome Christmas congratulations from neighbors and servants, and the new dresses everyone put on, there were no special festivities, though the calm frost of twenty degrees RΓ©aumur, the dazzling sunshine by day, and the starlight of the winter nights seemed to call for some special celebration of the season.
On the third day of Christmas week, after the midday dinner, all the inmates of the house dispersed to various rooms. It was the dullest time of the day. Nicholas, who had been visiting some neighbors that morning, was asleep on the sitting-room sofa. The old count was resting in his study. SΓ³nya sat in the drawing room at the round table, copying a design for embroidery. The countess was playing patience. NastΓ‘sya IvΓ‘novna the buffoon sat with a sad face at the window with two old ladies. NatΓ‘sha came into the room, went up to SΓ³nya, glanced at what she was doing, and
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