In Me by Tiffany Anyel (best android ereader .TXT) 📕

. Physically—the impact running had on me was more easily seen—I looked at it, every day in my mirror: Me…changing.

I had smaller arms, tighter legs, a firmer ass. Even my face had lost its bloated—miserable look. It looked flusher, younger.

Emotionally—not so clear, it wasn’t as ‘in-your-face’. I had gradually started to notice a perkier attitude, waking up most mornings. And my anger—well, was not so angry. Running had become my muse—it gave me inspiration. For what—I had no clue.

Running was a part of my past too—but I hadn’t used two legs or a park to do it. Somewhere during ‘my down-ward spiral’—failure also, reared its not-so-cute head. And teaming with ‘fear’ had a field day running me over.

Bending-over for fear and running-scared from failure—left little time to actually try and change anything. And soon I had every opportunity, every decision, even every feeling: squeezed, as it made room for the ‘infamous duo’: Fear and Failure.

“We have to stop!” Lee said, bending over trying to catch his breath. I circle back around, jogging in place, “Come on, I’m just getting started.”

“Well, start without me,” Lee sits on a bench, and takes a gulp of water. Sitting beside him, I silently wait for him to finish.

The bench starts vibrating, and Lee reaches in his pocket. Flipping open his phone, and handing me the bottled-water, Lee says, “Hey babe.”

I slowly gulp, while watching children at the playground, and listening to a one-sided conversation. “Oh. I’ve been running with Kate.” I glanced at Lee, making a funny face.

I bust out laughing, covering my mouth—I stick out my tongue, making a funny face of my own. Lee stifling a laugh says irritatingly into the phone, “Babe, I am listening to you. Kate’s just being silly.”

And with a shocked look on my face, I mouthed, “You started it!” Smiling Lee ignores me, “Yea. I’ll be there. I said I would okay? What time should I be there?...”

Lee and ‘the-girlfriend’: I wish I could say they were soo cute and oh-so-adorable together—but if I were being honest, like brutally honest—you know the honest that comes out almost sounding like an insult—Lee deserved better.

Lee slaps his phone shut. “So, are we calling it a day?” I ask, turning to Lee. I wave my hand, trying to get his attention, “Hello Earth-to-Lee.”

“What? Oh. Yea,” Lee says sounding far-away as he struggled to put his phone in his pocket.”

“So…is that a ‘yea we are leaving’?”

“What? No, no.” Lee said coming back from ‘wherever’ he had just been. Not convinced he was still ‘here-with-me’ I ask instead, “Lee. What’s up? Talk to me.”

Seeing frustration in his eyes he finally lets out a chuckle saying, “Oh nothing. It’s just Jenn—well, not her. But this banquet or something she wants me to go to. Her parents are putting it on, so.”

“Oh. Well, that could be fun.” “Right. Cause you know how I just love putting on a suit.” “Oh, you’d look great in a suit. Shut up.”

Realizing, I had never seen him in one—ever, and I saw him almost every day, I shrug saying, “Even though I have yet to see you in one.” “Exactly!” Lee said, brushing his shorts and shaking his head.

“Lee, I know it can’t only be the suit that’s bugging you. So, what is it? You’ve met her parents before right?” Nodding his head, I continue, “So…spill.” He sighs, “Oh, it’s nothing.” And he turns to me saying with a bit more enthusiasm, “So, you ready for one more go?”

I give him a not-buying-it look, handing him the bottled-water. Ignoring it he takes another gulp; he puts it away, and gets up to stretch, “So you ready?”

“Are you?” I finally said sounding cocky. “Funny,” Lee said smiling before he took off running.

****

Back at home feeling so fresh and so clean I contemplate ordering out, then grab some chips, and sit down on the sofa.

Running today had been fun—not the usual ‘pain-in-my-ass’. I ran for many reasons, most of which—I was still figuring out. But I didn’t run for fun, hadn’t run for fun—until today, with Lee. I guess it only takes once, to be forever changed by something.

Fun and Running: It was a new one for me. But I liked it.

Poor, Lee. After we raced in the park, and went for slushies’’, he got another ‘phone-call’ and had to cut out early. He wasn’t happy. Imaging him now—suited up and dancing, I let out a laugh.

Speak of the devil—I feel my phone vibrating, it’s Lee, “Hey you. I was just thinking about you. What’s up?”

“Come with me.” “Come with you? Where? No, don’t say it—to the ball? No way!”

“Come on Kate, please? You have to. Aren’t you the one that said ‘it will be fun’?”

“Well, yea. But no-where in that statement ‘that I said’ did I include ‘me’. Lee come on, it’s me, are you serious?”

“Yes! I need you there. Who else will I have fun with besides you at a ball—come on, for me? Please. I’m dying over here.” “Haven’t you already left? And what about Jenn?”

“She’s already there, waiting for me. I haven’t gotten ready yet.”

“Oh my god Lee, she is going to kill you! There is no way; I want to be around a furious ‘girl-friend’. And won’t she be even more upset if you bring me?”

For the first time, I hear static over the phone, “Hello, Lee? Are you there?”

“Yea, yea, I’m here. No, she won’t. She told me earlier I could bring some one. There will be like two hundred-plus people at this thing, and the only people I know are Jenn and her parents. Please Kate? What else are you doing? Let me guess watching a movie?”

“As a matter of fact—yes, I am! Dirty Dancing if you want to know, and it’s at the good part. So, what?” “So come out with me, do something different.”

“Different—I’m okay with. But what you’re talking about is…torture. What would I even wear to something like that?” “Anything, it’s more a formal-casual event, at least that’s what Jenn told me.”

“I hardly have just ‘casual’ in my closet. Do you remember the day I threw out almost all my clothes? I haven’t restocked.”

“Kate, you must have something—besides spandex, in your closet. Look I’m on my way, if you haven’t found anything by the time I get there, will find something together, okay?”

“But Lee—““I’ll see you soon. Thanks Kate, you’re the best.” He hangs up. Shit! Shit! Shit! I will never forgive Lee for making me do this. Sighing—and throwing a huge fit, I walk to my ‘empty’ closet.

“You nervous?” Lee says bumping me on the shoulder, stifling a laugh. I roll my eyes, “You think you’re so cute, don’t you? Just know, next time it’s my turn.”

We pull up to Jenn’s parents ‘estate’—anything this large did not qualify, at least in my book as a ‘house’. It was gated and had a literal ‘person’ standing outside checking invitations, letting cars pass through. We were still about ten cars behind.

“Nothing about this place screams ‘casual’” I say looking out the window, at the landscaped yard.

I finally turn to Lee saying, “You’re such a gold-digger.” Lee laughing out loud hands ‘the-invitation-guy’ our invitation.

We pass through the gate and finally catching his breath Lee said, “Shut up. And besides this is her parents’ house, not hers.” And sounding smug I reply, “Right. Because the apple does fall far from the tree.”

Lee glanced at me smiling, “Sometimes. Yea, it does—at least with Jenn. She doesn’t really enjoy these things either. She is here for her parents—it’s their annual ‘something’, they throw every year.”

Somehow we parked and made it through the maze of cars to the front entrance. Realizing I was shaking-with-nerves Lee held my hand as we walked through the door.


“Lee! Oh my god! I was so worried!” Jenn says running into Lee’s arms as I take a drink from one of the trays.

“I’m sorry babe. I was just waiting for Kate to get ready—I had asked her to come at the last minute,” Lee said giving her a light kiss.

Right, Lee. Because the reason you’re

late, is because of me. Not the fact that you waited until only twenty minutes ago to ask me.

Jenn turns facing me for the first time, with a look that could kill—like dead. And then—poof! It was gone and her cheeky smile was back with her saying, “I can’t believe he got you to come. Accordingly to Lee you like never get out.”

I briefly glance at Lee who was getting a drink saying to Jenn, “Is that so?” Knowing she had gotten under my skin (the bitch—sorry but no I’m not) she puts on one of her ‘poor-you’ smiles nodding her head.

Returning a ‘fuck-you’ smile of my own I take a long sip of my drink waiting for Jenn to get bored and leave me alone. It works—she turns to Lee saying, “Dance with me! Come on.”

Smirking at Lee I grab another drink from the tray. “Maybe, later. Okay?” Lee said, pretending not to see me.

And Jenn says pouting, “No, now. I haven’t got to dance all night, because I’ve been waiting for you.” She pulls on his arm; Lee glances at me—stifling a laugh, as he heads out on the dance floor.


My third

drink in; I had begun doing some pouting of my own. Seeing nothing but dancing people for the past fifteen minutes—had left me ‘stir-crazy’. And greeting people who looked at me like I didn’t belong—guess what I didn’t, had me this close

to calling a cab. Only I had no clue where I was.

Lee probably sensing my distress slides into the seat next to me, handing me another drink, “Sorry about that. Are you going crazy yet?”

I roll my eyes, “What do you think?” Lee turns his chair facing the crowd, “Oh, it’s not so bad out there.”

Looking at him—not the crowd I say, “Are you sure we are at the same party? I’ve gotten only ‘you’re weird’ stares all night.” “That’s because you are weird.” Lee says hitting me on the shoulder.

“Ha. You’re funny.” I take another sip from my drink.

“Someone’s in a