Gone by By: Morgan:) (ebook reader library TXT) 📕

deserve him.
After a while Debbie fell asleep. I stayed awake. Thinking of Alan. We danced in the street. I gave him everything I had, who what? To have him leave and break every promise he’s made to me. It doesn’t seem fair. ~~~~~~~~~~

“Jane!” Debbie screamed. I woke up quickly drenched in sweat. I felt my forehead and I was burning up.
“It was a dream.” I said to my self. “It was a dream.”
“What was a dream?” Debbie asked me.
“Why did you wake me?” I asked her.
“Because you were screaming and sweating and I thought you were hurt.” She said worried.
“It was just a dream.” I repeated happily. I was so relieved. The pain I felt in the dream felt so real, it hurt so bad.
“What was a dream!” Debbie demanded to know.
“I dreamed Alan found someone else in his unit and he left me.” I told her. She fell back and relaxed.
“That all?” She asked.
“That all?” I asked. “Im so relieved right now you have no idea. I thought I was going to kill myself.” I confessed.
“What?” She asked as if she heard me wrong. “You were going to kill your self?”
“You have no idea what Alan means to me.” I told her. Before she could reply my Mom came from up stairs.
“Whats all the ruckus?” She asked.
“Nothing. Everything great!” I told her and got up. “Anyone want pancakes?”
“That sound great, honey.” My Mom said and then turned to Debbie. “Whats wrong with her?” She asked Debbie.
“I don’t know.” Debbie whispered. I couldn’t stop smiling. It was all a dream. I never want to feel like that ever again.
After I made pancakes for everyone I went upstairs and got dressed for school.
“Can I come with you?” Debbie asked.
“Yes, of course but why?” I asked her.
“No reason.” She replied and put on a dress of mine. I knew why she wanted to come. She wanted to look over me. To make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid.
After I got dress and went down stairs and slipped on my shoes and we were on our way to the school. When I got there I got my papers ready and sat at my desk. I wrote Debbie’s name on the black board so the kids knew what to call her. When the bell ran they all ran in.
“Hello, class.” I said.
“Hello, Ms. Johnson.” They all said in unison.
“I wanted to introduce someone to you all.” I said and Debbie stood up. “This is Ms. Reed. Please treat her with respect as she helps me once in a while.” I said and they all nodded.
Just before I was about to turn around to write the assignment on the board I saw little Susie’s hand up.
“Yes.” I said. She stood up and stepped to the side of her desk.
“Where is Mr. Day?” She asked. I coughed. They were referring to Alan.
“Mr. Day wont be with us for a while.” I told them. Susie took her seat and then little John’s hand went up. I nodded at him and then he stood up.
“Excuse me but where is Mr. Day?” He asked politely.
“He is not here. He wont be for a while.” I repeated.
“Why?” I heard someone ask without permission to speak. No one in my class room has even been disrespectful like that before. They have always raised there hands and asked to stand up and speak. They all said yeah and repeatedly asked where and why he wasn’t here. I was so over whelmed.
“Mr. Day wont be here because he enlisted and left me!” I yelled to make them all quiet. I sat down in my chair and took a breather. I kept telling myself not to cry in front of them.
“Okay, turn to page ten in your books.” Debbie said and they all quickly got there books. Debbie got on one knee and looked up at me sitting in the chair.
“Breath.” She reminded me.
“I need some air.” I said and walked out side. I walked to the edge of the water. Right behind the school a big body of water covered most of the area. We had a dock and ledges so the kids can go out and fish. I stood at the end of the red Fence separating me and the water. I cried in silence. The wind blew my hair to the side. I took a deep breath and smelled the fresh out doors. I watched as my tears hit the water.
“He will come back.” I mumbled to myself. I heard foot steps behind me. I turned around to see Debbie.
“You alright?” She asked me. I was tired of lying. I was tired of being told everything will be alright when they have no control over it.
“No. Truth be told, I’m not.” I said. She walked up and leaned against the fence with me.
“About time. You know keeping things in and not telling anyone is the worst thing you can do.” She said.
“ I know but it seems so much easier than saying what I mean.” I told her. After a few seconds of silence I decided to go back and finish the school day. I entered the room and they all worked so fast I heard the writing of there pencils. I sat down at my desk and took a deep breath. I told myself to pull it together.
The day went by slow. Every time I looked at the clock it seemed as if it never moved. A few times I day dreamed. I looked at the doorway and I would see Alan leaning in it, waiting to take me home. I would smile and then looked down or at one of the students and then when I looked back into the doorway he would be gone.
Debbie did most of the teaching. I kind of just sat down and watched, drifting in and out as the day went on. I don’t know what I would have done if Debbie wasn’t there.
When the bell rang and the kids ran out of the school house I jumped. Debbie grabbed my arm and helped me up. I got into the passenger seat and she drove us home. On the ride home it was silent most of the time.
I looked out my window and looked at the flowers which bent as the wind blew.
“Thank you.” I said quietly.
“You would do the same for me.” She said while pulling into my drive way.
“No, really. It if wasn’t for you I would have froze up and I wouldn’t have known what to do.” I told her.
“I’m here for you.” She said.
We both got out of my car and headed inside. My Dad was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking his coffee and reading his paper. I was still not on speaking terms with my Father. I think it was ridiculous that he couldn’t come down stairs and see his son off.
“Mother.” I said as I entered the house. “Any mail?” I asked while grabbing two apples off the table. I threw one to Debbie as I took a bite of mine.
“Not today.” She said. I sighed and went up to Jesse’s room. Debbie followed slowly behind me.
“What are you doing?” She asked as I opened his door.
“Nothing. Just looking around.” I said. I walked in and looked at his messy bed. I looked to the left to see Alan’s blankets sprawled out on the floor. On top of his pillow was a note. Jane, it said on the front of the envelope. I opened it and sat on the floor.

Jane,

Hello Dear. I know that you may not be too happy with me at this second. I know that you wish I were there with you. I just wanted to let you know that the time I spent with you was the best days of my life. I know we haven’t known each other for long but it seems as if we’ve been together for a life time. Every kiss feels just like the first. I know I haven’t been gone long and thats why I put this letter in Jesse’s room. I knew you would walk around reminiscing about our memories. I just wanted you to know that you need to stay strong for me, like I know you can. I love you and I know you love me too and thats what will get me through this year. Be expecting a letter from me every week because I wont forget to write. I know you feel broken down and like you want to scream but you can’t make a sound. I want you to know that you’re not alone. You’re friends are around to help you and to love you. I know that right now you think its the end of the world, like you’ve lost. But just when you think you can’t hold on any longer, hold on a little bit longer, trust me you will see, you will be so much stronger. This is only temporary, doll. You will be in my arms in no time. Don’t count the days. Just wait for my letters and it will go so much faster. I know deep down inside you go what it takes. I love you.
Stay strong,
Your love, Alan


I tried to hold back the tears but I didn’t think it would work. One fell from my cheek. I quickly wiped my cheeks.
“What did it say?” Debbie asked. I handed her the letter. After reading it she smiled and handed it back to me. “He’s a keeper.”
“I miss him.” I told her.
“I know.” She said and patted my back. I stood up and walked to my room. Debbie followed behind me.
“Can I stay the night?” She asked.
“When have I ever said no.” I laughed. We both laid on my floor an listened to music.
“You know, one day we wont be young anymore. We will have gotten old and we would have a family and our own house. We probably wont even remember each other.” Debbie said as we looked at my ceiling.
“I would never forget you.” I told her. While picking up Alan’s note.
“I wouldn’t forget you either.” She said. We both smiled at each other. After a while I stood up and sat at my desk. I got out a pen and a piece of paper. I wasn’t going to move until I wrote Alan a letter.

Dear Alan,

The first note started but that was too formal.

Alan,

Hi, honey. I know its only been a few days but it feels like eternity. Sleeping alone wakes me up at night. I miss your lips. I miss you. I know we still have so much longer but I will never stop wanting you to come back. I know you left to be the man you want to be but remember you will always be that man in my eyes. You are that man and so much more. I got your letter that you left me. It brought tears to my eyes. I will stay strong because I know you are coming back. There is so much that has happened since you left. I’ve noticed that I’ve cried more than I usually do. I’ve broken down a few times but our memories and our pictures help me get through another day. Debbie is a blessing at times like this. She helps me with