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You wonā€™t be happy until thereā€™s nothing left

Caught in an infinite loop
You better back off ā€˜cause Iā€™m loosing it!


The Spiral
August 23, 2010

No one wants to help me out
No matter how loud I shout
Although all my dreams have been shattered
Iā€™m gonna break out of this holding pattern
Silly little court jester doing my juggling act
Waiting on the Devil to make good on his pact
Donā€™t bring your war home to me
You donā€™t have to settle a score, so let it be
Iā€™m the victim, but, you donā€™t have to believe

When that cold icy wind blows
And cuts me right down to the bone
You said youā€™d be there and Iā€™m all alone
No helping hand to pull me out of this hole
Strong enough to stand on my own two feet
Pityā€™s not what I want, nor what I need
Yes, Iā€™m the victim canā€™t you see
Itā€™s no less true just because you donā€™t believe
Someone throw me a lifeline and help me

They say the words and put me in a rage
Play all the games and never turn a page
Thinkinā€™ theyā€™re the new king in town
Tryinā€™ to beat me right into the ground
Like a teenager, go make minimum wage
But, grow up, pay the bills, and act your age
Just when I think Iā€™ve earned their respect
The cold shoulder is all Iā€™m ever gonna get

Thereā€™s a never ending spiral carrying me like a whirlwind
What once was calmed by you is now a stormy sea
Roll me over and over and crash me against the rocks again and again
Iā€™m never strong enough to claim my rightful victory
Spinning through this spiral
Ever falling down into the pit
Spinning through this spiral
Just need a lifeline to avoid the split
Spinning through this spiral
With no lifeline and no intent to submit
I wish I could cast off the inertia of spinning through this spiral

Spinning through this spiral
Ever falling down into the pit
Spinning through this spiral
Just need a lifeline to avoid the split
Spinning through this spiral
With no lifeline and no intent to submit
Damn the inertia of spinning through this spiral


Dark River To Antares
July 19 - 25, 2010

Do you know what kind of hurt youā€™re causing
Every time you say it wonā€™t work
Do you know what kind of doubt youā€™re sowing
Every time you tell me itā€™s wrong
Theyā€™ll have you believe
The sun and moon set on gold and silver
Unless youā€™re a winner
Only the rich get richer

With the flip of a card
With the turn of a phrase
Theyā€™ll never hesitate
To run you right over
And send you right down the dark river to Antares

The inner voice I depend on to guide me
Fell silent the day youā€™re gone
Will good fortune bring me serenity
Horoscope says it never comes
Theyā€™ll give you headaches
Weighing heavy on your weary mind
It all goes away when
You leave the money behind

With the flip of a card
With the turn of a phrase
Theyā€™ll never hesitate
To run you right over
And send you right down the dark river to Antares
With the turn of a phrase
Theyā€™ve taught you how to hate
Anytime anyone
Canā€™t pull their own weight
Theyā€™ll send you right down the dark river to Antares

Clean out my house damnit
And knock my planets in line
Gonna play celestial billiards ā€˜cause I deserve better than this
Iā€™m drowning in a deluge of back luck, stop wasting time

Itā€™s time to let luck align
Put good fortune right over here in my corner
Better keep quiet if I donā€™t have your support
Thatā€™s right, keep quiet

With the flip of a card
With the turn of a phrase
Theyā€™ll never hesitate
To run you right over
And send you right down the dark river to Antares
With the turn of a phrase
Theyā€™ve taught you how to hate
Anytime anyone
Canā€™t pull their own weight
Theyā€™ll send you right down the dark river to Antares
So donā€™t hold out your hand
Theyā€™ll tell you to go straight to Hades

When it weighs heavy on your mind
You gotta leave the money behind


Silent Rage
July 27, 2010

Canā€™t move forward
If Iā€™m stuck in place
Canā€™t go backward
Canā€™t relive yesterday
Someone, anyone
Tell me which way to go
Itā€™s a vicious circle
Trapped in limbo

Inner workings
Tormented feelings
Private perversions
Veiled in thin disguise
Just below the surface
Just below my surface
Barely kept in place
Under this Poker face

Silent rage
Buried within
Anger burning
Bright as a blue flame
Canā€™t turn the page
And I canā€™t make it go away
Like a soul full of Black Plague
Iā€™m burning in silent rage

So whereā€™s my sunrise
Whereā€™s my bright new day
Gotta chase a dream
But thereā€™s a price to pay
Canā€™t survive on so little
There has to be more
Opportunity ainā€™t
Knockinā€™ down my door

Inner workings
Tormented feelings
Private perversions
Veiled in thin disguise
Just below the surface
Just below my surface
Barely kept in place
Under this Poker face

Silent rage
Buried within
Anger burning
Just below the skin
Silent rage
Bright as a blue flame
Canā€™t turn the page
And I canā€™t make it go away
Like a soul full of Black Plague
An arrow shot with no aim
Iā€™m burning in silent rage

Over and over
Itā€™s a vicious circle
Goinā€™ over and over
Trapped in limbo
Over and over
ā€œPlease sir, can I have some moreā€
You know opportunity ainā€™t
Breaking down my door

Itā€™s a silent rage
Buried within
Anger burning
Just below the skin
Silent rage
Written on my face
Bright as a blue flame
Canā€™t turn my page
Sure as hell canā€™t make it go away
Like a soul full of Black Plague
An arrow shot with no aim
When nothing ever goes my way
Iā€™m burning in silent rage


Playing With Fire
August 24, 2010

I know you think youā€™re better
You really wear the right attitude
So if beggars canā€™t be choosers
Why play the game like a looser
Thatā€™s right, Iā€™m better than that
Every right to be holier than thou
You think your way is the best
No room for choices, forget the rest

How presumptuous to think you can control my life and so much more
How arrogant to make that assumption
When you take a swing at me, better be sure to knock me on the floor

Donā€™t put me down ā€˜cause Iā€™m not controlled by your demons
Youā€™re playing with fire
Donā€™t you dare scream at me like a wailing banshee
Youā€™re playing with fire
I donā€™t have time to sit here and listen to your sermons
Youā€™re playing with fire
Youā€™re as out of tune as an old worn out guitar string
Youā€™re playing with fire
And, one day Iā€™m gonna recoil like a spring

Just because you think youā€™re the best
Doesnā€™t mean you have my respect
Grow up is the message to you from me
Stay in your own little world and let me be
And stop playing with fire

Remember, evil is as evil does
Better stay with your angel
Curl up next to her all fetal
Donā€™t turn me into the evilest evil doer who ever eviled

How presumptuous to think you can control my life and so much more
How arrogant to make that assumption
When you take a swing at me, better be sure to knock me on the floor

Donā€™t put me down ā€˜cause Iā€™m not controlled by your demons
Youā€™re playing with fire
Donā€™t you dare scream at me like a wailing banshee
Youā€™re playing with fire
I donā€™t have time to sit here and listen to your sermons
Youā€™re playing with fire
Youā€™re as out of tune as an old worn out guitar string
Youā€™re playing with fire
One day Iā€™m gonna recoil like a spring

Just because you think youā€™re the best
Doesnā€™t mean you have my respect
Grow up is the message to you from me
Stay in your own little world and let me be
Better stop playing with fire


Highway To Nowhere
August 30, 2010

Ninety-three degrees with crushing humidity
Might as well be a fire roaring
Hazy clouds like skid marks in the sky
Asphaltā€™s melting, itā€™s the warning signs youā€™re ignoring
Itā€™s a crazy little world spinning like this
Perfect stance, take a swing but you miss
You want to be a legend in your own time
But youā€™re just a legend in your own mind

Like a hot wind blowing in the August heat
Always in a hurry to rush off to nowhere
To some important appointment to keep
Run a few red lights and ignore the exit signs
Just peel your rubber right on down the highway to nowhere
Your so-called busy life is only important in your own mind

If you see the warning signs
Can you hit the brake in time
Are you speeding off to nowhere
Or trying to leave it all behind

Night falls over the sultry neon city
The smoke from another fire set you off and running
The impulse of money is always never enough
Stomp on the accelerator till you hit one-twenty
Itā€™s a crazy little world spinning on its axis
When that scheme fell apart, did you take time to assess
If you want to be a legend in your own time
You gotta draw that dream right out of your mind

Like a hot wind blowing in the August heat
Always in a hurry to get to nowhere
To some important appointment to keep
Run a few red lights and ignore the exit signs
Spin your wheels right on down the highway to nowhere
Your so-called busy life is only important within your own mind

If you see the warning signs
Can you hit the brake in time
Are you speeding off to nowhere
Or trying to leave it all behind

If you donā€™t listen
No oneā€™s gonna listen
Squealing your tires
No, you donā€™t listen
So no oneā€™s listeninā€™
Youā€™re burning your rubber

If you see the warning signs
Can you hit the brake in time
Are you speeding off to nowhere
Or trying to leave it all behind

Spin your wheels down the highway to nowhere


Go Away
July 27 - 28, 2010

Go away
Release your hold on me
Get out of my life
Put an end to the loosing streak
Go away
And get out of my life
Take the negativity with you
Stay out of my sight

Push it away
Shove it aside
Lock the door
Keep it outside

Iā€™ve had enough anger, sadness, and pain
Itā€™s not who I am
Make it go away
Iā€™m not ready for Arkham
Iā€™m really not insane
The real meā€™s coming back through
Darkness, you have no place to stay
My message is loud and clear I said go away

Go away
Iā€™m filled with confidence
Get out of my life
Iā€™m no longer innocent
Go away
Iā€™m ready to conquer the world
And get out of my life
While the clear blue sky unfurls

Push it away
Shove it aside
Lock the door
Keep it outside

Iā€™ve had enough anger, sadness, and pain
Itā€™s not who I am
Make it go away
Iā€™m not ready for Arkham
Iā€™m really not insane
The real meā€™s coming back through
Darkness, you have no place to stay
My message is loud and clear I said go away
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