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for light at the end of this tunnel
While through this dream state I muddle
When everything in my world is wrong
I have to write another song

When do I stop crying a river of tears
When will I feel alive again
Nothingā€™s the same without you here
To what end am I destined

Sneaky sadness wells up from inside
I wear a different face to disguise
Bottled up feelings I try to hide
Swirling around within my mind
Carrying around so much hurt
All I can do is channel it into words
Because when everything in my world is wrong
I have to write another song


Escape Clause
July 20, 2010

Suffocating blackness
Turns into madness
Spiral of fear and sadness

Crush the life right out of your soul
Till you feel like thereā€™s no place else you can go

Cheap little bottle of pills
Can do more for you than kicks and thrills
Theyā€™re the escape clause to kill the pain
And snuff out your fire again
But theyā€™ll never answer the questions left buried deep inside
Or reveal the mystery behind those distant hazel eyes

Gotta learn to let it in
Gotta burn to be born again
From the ashes the phoenix rises
Thereā€™s nothing left to stop you
You got clear horizons

Nothing without flaw
Put your life on pause
Reconsider the escape clause

Let it right in, let it right in under your skin
Say the word and salvation is yours again

Cheap little bottle of pills
You know they wonā€™t cure your inner ills
Just an escape clause to kill the pain
You gotta ignite your fire again
Because theyā€™ll never answer the questions left buried deep inside
Or reveal your mystery behind your distant hazel eyes

Gotta learn to let it in
Gotta burn to be born again
From the ashes the phoenix rises
Thereā€™s nothing left to stop you
You got clear horizons

Fly to your new horizons, yeah
Fly to your new horizons
You know you gotta steal yourself against stormy weather
Nothingā€™s ever perfect ā€˜cause you know this ainā€™t Heaven


Angry Letter To God
September 9 - 10, 2010

I accuse you to your face
That I could put you in your place
Then all would be right by me
But you keep putting me down
And never let me turn around
Whatā€™s the game, this sick insanity

Why raise me up to make me fall
What pleasure do you get in destroying it all
Iā€™ve learned to live on next to nothing
Am I supposed to forget you like you forgot me

This is my angry letter to God
Before I can salvage faith, I have to save myself
Thereā€™s a brick wall on every road I trod
Painful words etched into my brain, never any help
Pull myself up by my own bootstraps
If you really help those who help themselves
Enough with the backhanded slaps
I live good the best way I know how
A little divine intervention would go a long way right now

What about freedom of choice
Whereā€™s my voice
Does it matter anyway
If we created you, when we forget, do you fade

The comforting hand does nothing but smite
But I can fight back with all my might
Writing these words about what I feel
Honesty I can put in a box, out of sight
Let them gather dust, never see the light
But they wouldnā€™t do any good and Iā€™d never heal

Leave me alone if you donā€™t love me
Iā€™m still a good person, let me be
Just back off and stay away
Stop killing me with constant hammering

This is my angry letter to God
Before I can salvage faith, I have to save myself
Thereā€™s a brick wall on every road I trod
Painful words etched into my brain, never any help
Pull myself up by my own bootstraps
If you really help those who help themselves
Enough with the backhanded slaps
I live good the best way I know how
A little divine intervention would go a long way right now

What about freedom of choice
Whereā€™s my voice
Does it matter anyway
If we created you, when we forget, do you fade

Iā€™m not sorry, this is how I feel
It might not be important to you, but itā€™s important to me
Give me enough time and I will heal
If you lived my life, maybe you would see

It took my angry letter to God to get positive results
Thatā€™s why I followed this profane impulse
Maybe it will be better now that I have your attention
Maybe the world would be better if everyone mentioned
And shared their feelings in letters to God
Even if the concept seems odd
Feelings of praise, the good, the bad, and the ugly
Things will change if only our words God would read


Summerland
July 18, 2010

Gotta go to bed
Tired of the pounding in my head
Wonā€™t listen to those voices
Wonā€™t loose my soul
Donā€™t wanna wind up dead

Let the world keep on turning
Keep the inner fires burning
Tomorrow will be better
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning

Todayā€™s just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā€™ take my hand
But today is not my day
I canā€™t sit on the sand
Too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereā€™s a few years left before I return to Summerland

The air is alive with vibrating blue
Thereā€™s a temple on a mountain for me and you
Swim together in forgetful water
Where the healing spring is warm
Where our souls fly to the center of the galaxy
Where Paradise is built on the shore of the sea

But todayā€™s just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā€™ take my hand
Though today is not my day
I canā€™t sit on the sand
Thereā€™s too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereā€™s a few more years left before I come back to Summerland
A few more years left before I come back to Summerland
Back to Summerland

Face in the shadows
A long black tunnel to the midnight meadow
They whisper in my ear
The Morpheus gate
Broken dreams leave me hallow

But, let the world keep on turning
Keep the inner fires burning
Tomorrow will be better
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Quench the inner yearning

Todayā€™s just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā€™ take my hand
But today is not my day
I canā€™t sit on the sand
Too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereā€™s a few years left before I return to Summerland

The air is alive with vibrating blue
Thereā€™s a temple on a mountain for me and you
Swim together in forgetful water
Where the healing spring is warm
Where our souls fly to the center of the galaxy
Where Paradise is built on the shore of the sea

But todayā€™s just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā€™ take my hand
Though today is not my day
I canā€™t sit on the sand
Thereā€™s too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereā€™s a few more years left before I come back to Summerland
A few more years left before I come back to Summerland
Back to Summerland


Not Qualified
July 17, 2010

Ha, ha
Meeting in person
That was fifty terabytes ago
Donā€™t want to see ya
Donā€™t recognize ya
Your face we donā€™t know
Canā€™t talk to ya
My other lineā€™s rining
Gotta answer the phone
Mainframe kicked ya out
The computer shut down
Donā€™t bother us no more

Maybe if you had a pocket full of money
If you were a clean cut clone of the Debbies
Canā€™t do a thing for ya, honey
Be sure to eat at the buffet
ā€˜Cause youā€™re

Not qualified
You need a degree to count to ten
Youā€™re not qualified
You know thatā€™s what they said
Youā€™re not qualified
Better stamp it right here on my forehead
Youā€™re not qualified
Might as well climb back into bed
Iā€™m not qualified
Yeah, thatā€™s what they said

Hey, hey
Saw you here for years
Tolerate associates so slow
Youā€™re better for the position
Check the website on-line
Our program says yes or no
Executive benefits salary
Or flush you down the pipes
Either way, go with the flow
Stand in your line
And get your food stamps, baby
You got nowhere to go

Maybe if you had a pocket full of money
If you were a clean cut clone of the Debbies
Canā€™t do a thing for ya, honey
Be sure to eat at the buffet
ā€˜Cause youā€™re

Not qualified
You need a degree to count to ten
Youā€™re not qualified
You know thatā€™s what they said
Youā€™re not qualified
Better stamp it right here on my forehead
Youā€™re not qualified
Might as well climb back into bed
Iā€™m not qualified
Yeah, thatā€™s what they said

Stamp it on my forehead
I need a degree to count to ten
Really, to count to ten
Will the madness never end
Unplug the mainframe
Iā€™m going microchip insane
Weā€™re not gonna hire you today
Thatā€™s what they said
But weā€™ll take your money
Be sure to eat at the buffet


Infinite Loop
July 19 - 20, 2010

So let me get this straight
You want me to go down roads Iā€™ve gone down before
You want me to go knockinā€™ on all the same old doors
Repeat
Knock on all the same old doors
Repeat
Knock on all the same old doors
Repeat that back to me
How is that helping

Donā€™t tell me to go down roads Iā€™ve gone down before
Havenā€™t got the gas
Donā€™t tell me to knock on all the same old doors
Been there, done that

Itā€™s just an infinite loop
Itā€™s not good for me
Itā€™s not good for you
Itā€™s just an infinite loop
Time to try something new
Besides jumping through hoops
Itā€™s just an infinite loop
And I canā€™t get by it
Itā€™s just and infinite loop
Infinite loop, infinite loop, infinite loop
Tell me please
Does it ever get easy

Now hold on just a second
You want me to pick up the phone and call those numbers again
The past is the past, why do I have to revisit where Iā€™ve been
Repeat
Revisit where Iā€™ve been
Repeat
Revisit where Iā€™ve been
Play that back for me
Itā€™s just insane

Donā€™t tell me to go down roads Iā€™ve gone down before
Havenā€™t got the gas
Donā€™t tell me to knock on all the same old doors
Been there, done that

Itā€™s just an infinite loop
Itā€™s not good for me
Itā€™s not good for you
Itā€™s just an infinite loop
Time to try something new
Besides jumping through hoops
Itā€™s just an infinite loop
And I canā€™t get by it
Itā€™s just and infinite loop
Infinite loop, infinite loop, infinite loop
Tell me please
Does it ever get easy

Feels like Iā€™m playing against a stacked deck
And I donā€™t have a prayer in hell to win this bet
The simple things are too much for me
Itā€™s always never ending adversity

Iā€™m loosing it in infinite loops

Watching my life drift by on the wind
Cycle, repeat, get dirty, wash, and spin

Iā€™m loosing it

Sell a piece here
Trade a piece there
Until thereā€™s nothing
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