Remembering Altair by Rob Astor (types of ebook readers TXT) š
Excerpt from the book:
This is a collection of lyrical poetry inspired by the recent sudden loss of the person I was most close to in this whole world. Every part is a glimpse or a picture of a feeling or a frustration while I continue to wade through the unsure aftermath of her passing.
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- Author: Rob Astor
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for light at the end of this tunnel
While through this dream state I muddle
When everything in my world is wrong
I have to write another song
When do I stop crying a river of tears
When will I feel alive again
Nothingās the same without you here
To what end am I destined
Sneaky sadness wells up from inside
I wear a different face to disguise
Bottled up feelings I try to hide
Swirling around within my mind
Carrying around so much hurt
All I can do is channel it into words
Because when everything in my world is wrong
I have to write another song
Escape Clause
July 20, 2010
Suffocating blackness
Turns into madness
Spiral of fear and sadness
Crush the life right out of your soul
Till you feel like thereās no place else you can go
Cheap little bottle of pills
Can do more for you than kicks and thrills
Theyāre the escape clause to kill the pain
And snuff out your fire again
But theyāll never answer the questions left buried deep inside
Or reveal the mystery behind those distant hazel eyes
Gotta learn to let it in
Gotta burn to be born again
From the ashes the phoenix rises
Thereās nothing left to stop you
You got clear horizons
Nothing without flaw
Put your life on pause
Reconsider the escape clause
Let it right in, let it right in under your skin
Say the word and salvation is yours again
Cheap little bottle of pills
You know they wonāt cure your inner ills
Just an escape clause to kill the pain
You gotta ignite your fire again
Because theyāll never answer the questions left buried deep inside
Or reveal your mystery behind your distant hazel eyes
Gotta learn to let it in
Gotta burn to be born again
From the ashes the phoenix rises
Thereās nothing left to stop you
You got clear horizons
Fly to your new horizons, yeah
Fly to your new horizons
You know you gotta steal yourself against stormy weather
Nothingās ever perfect ācause you know this aināt Heaven
Angry Letter To God
September 9 - 10, 2010
I accuse you to your face
That I could put you in your place
Then all would be right by me
But you keep putting me down
And never let me turn around
Whatās the game, this sick insanity
Why raise me up to make me fall
What pleasure do you get in destroying it all
Iāve learned to live on next to nothing
Am I supposed to forget you like you forgot me
This is my angry letter to God
Before I can salvage faith, I have to save myself
Thereās a brick wall on every road I trod
Painful words etched into my brain, never any help
Pull myself up by my own bootstraps
If you really help those who help themselves
Enough with the backhanded slaps
I live good the best way I know how
A little divine intervention would go a long way right now
What about freedom of choice
Whereās my voice
Does it matter anyway
If we created you, when we forget, do you fade
The comforting hand does nothing but smite
But I can fight back with all my might
Writing these words about what I feel
Honesty I can put in a box, out of sight
Let them gather dust, never see the light
But they wouldnāt do any good and Iād never heal
Leave me alone if you donāt love me
Iām still a good person, let me be
Just back off and stay away
Stop killing me with constant hammering
This is my angry letter to God
Before I can salvage faith, I have to save myself
Thereās a brick wall on every road I trod
Painful words etched into my brain, never any help
Pull myself up by my own bootstraps
If you really help those who help themselves
Enough with the backhanded slaps
I live good the best way I know how
A little divine intervention would go a long way right now
What about freedom of choice
Whereās my voice
Does it matter anyway
If we created you, when we forget, do you fade
Iām not sorry, this is how I feel
It might not be important to you, but itās important to me
Give me enough time and I will heal
If you lived my life, maybe you would see
It took my angry letter to God to get positive results
Thatās why I followed this profane impulse
Maybe it will be better now that I have your attention
Maybe the world would be better if everyone mentioned
And shared their feelings in letters to God
Even if the concept seems odd
Feelings of praise, the good, the bad, and the ugly
Things will change if only our words God would read
Summerland
July 18, 2010
Gotta go to bed
Tired of the pounding in my head
Wonāt listen to those voices
Wonāt loose my soul
Donāt wanna wind up dead
Let the world keep on turning
Keep the inner fires burning
Tomorrow will be better
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
But today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few years left before I return to Summerland
The air is alive with vibrating blue
Thereās a temple on a mountain for me and you
Swim together in forgetful water
Where the healing spring is warm
Where our souls fly to the center of the galaxy
Where Paradise is built on the shore of the sea
But todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
Though today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Thereās too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few more years left before I come back to Summerland
A few more years left before I come back to Summerland
Back to Summerland
Face in the shadows
A long black tunnel to the midnight meadow
They whisper in my ear
The Morpheus gate
Broken dreams leave me hallow
But, let the world keep on turning
Keep the inner fires burning
Tomorrow will be better
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Quench the inner yearning
Todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
But today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few years left before I return to Summerland
The air is alive with vibrating blue
Thereās a temple on a mountain for me and you
Swim together in forgetful water
Where the healing spring is warm
Where our souls fly to the center of the galaxy
Where Paradise is built on the shore of the sea
But todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
Though today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Thereās too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few more years left before I come back to Summerland
A few more years left before I come back to Summerland
Back to Summerland
Not Qualified
July 17, 2010
Ha, ha
Meeting in person
That was fifty terabytes ago
Donāt want to see ya
Donāt recognize ya
Your face we donāt know
Canāt talk to ya
My other lineās rining
Gotta answer the phone
Mainframe kicked ya out
The computer shut down
Donāt bother us no more
Maybe if you had a pocket full of money
If you were a clean cut clone of the Debbies
Canāt do a thing for ya, honey
Be sure to eat at the buffet
āCause youāre
Not qualified
You need a degree to count to ten
Youāre not qualified
You know thatās what they said
Youāre not qualified
Better stamp it right here on my forehead
Youāre not qualified
Might as well climb back into bed
Iām not qualified
Yeah, thatās what they said
Hey, hey
Saw you here for years
Tolerate associates so slow
Youāre better for the position
Check the website on-line
Our program says yes or no
Executive benefits salary
Or flush you down the pipes
Either way, go with the flow
Stand in your line
And get your food stamps, baby
You got nowhere to go
Maybe if you had a pocket full of money
If you were a clean cut clone of the Debbies
Canāt do a thing for ya, honey
Be sure to eat at the buffet
āCause youāre
Not qualified
You need a degree to count to ten
Youāre not qualified
You know thatās what they said
Youāre not qualified
Better stamp it right here on my forehead
Youāre not qualified
Might as well climb back into bed
Iām not qualified
Yeah, thatās what they said
Stamp it on my forehead
I need a degree to count to ten
Really, to count to ten
Will the madness never end
Unplug the mainframe
Iām going microchip insane
Weāre not gonna hire you today
Thatās what they said
But weāll take your money
Be sure to eat at the buffet
Infinite Loop
July 19 - 20, 2010
So let me get this straight
You want me to go down roads Iāve gone down before
You want me to go knockinā on all the same old doors
Repeat
Knock on all the same old doors
Repeat
Knock on all the same old doors
Repeat that back to me
How is that helping
Donāt tell me to go down roads Iāve gone down before
Havenāt got the gas
Donāt tell me to knock on all the same old doors
Been there, done that
Itās just an infinite loop
Itās not good for me
Itās not good for you
Itās just an infinite loop
Time to try something new
Besides jumping through hoops
Itās just an infinite loop
And I canāt get by it
Itās just and infinite loop
Infinite loop, infinite loop, infinite loop
Tell me please
Does it ever get easy
Now hold on just a second
You want me to pick up the phone and call those numbers again
The past is the past, why do I have to revisit where Iāve been
Repeat
Revisit where Iāve been
Repeat
Revisit where Iāve been
Play that back for me
Itās just insane
Donāt tell me to go down roads Iāve gone down before
Havenāt got the gas
Donāt tell me to knock on all the same old doors
Been there, done that
Itās just an infinite loop
Itās not good for me
Itās not good for you
Itās just an infinite loop
Time to try something new
Besides jumping through hoops
Itās just an infinite loop
And I canāt get by it
Itās just and infinite loop
Infinite loop, infinite loop, infinite loop
Tell me please
Does it ever get easy
Feels like Iām playing against a stacked deck
And I donāt have a prayer in hell to win this bet
The simple things are too much for me
Itās always never ending adversity
Iām loosing it in infinite loops
Watching my life drift by on the wind
Cycle, repeat, get dirty, wash, and spin
Iām loosing it
Sell a piece here
Trade a piece there
Until thereās nothing
While through this dream state I muddle
When everything in my world is wrong
I have to write another song
When do I stop crying a river of tears
When will I feel alive again
Nothingās the same without you here
To what end am I destined
Sneaky sadness wells up from inside
I wear a different face to disguise
Bottled up feelings I try to hide
Swirling around within my mind
Carrying around so much hurt
All I can do is channel it into words
Because when everything in my world is wrong
I have to write another song
Escape Clause
July 20, 2010
Suffocating blackness
Turns into madness
Spiral of fear and sadness
Crush the life right out of your soul
Till you feel like thereās no place else you can go
Cheap little bottle of pills
Can do more for you than kicks and thrills
Theyāre the escape clause to kill the pain
And snuff out your fire again
But theyāll never answer the questions left buried deep inside
Or reveal the mystery behind those distant hazel eyes
Gotta learn to let it in
Gotta burn to be born again
From the ashes the phoenix rises
Thereās nothing left to stop you
You got clear horizons
Nothing without flaw
Put your life on pause
Reconsider the escape clause
Let it right in, let it right in under your skin
Say the word and salvation is yours again
Cheap little bottle of pills
You know they wonāt cure your inner ills
Just an escape clause to kill the pain
You gotta ignite your fire again
Because theyāll never answer the questions left buried deep inside
Or reveal your mystery behind your distant hazel eyes
Gotta learn to let it in
Gotta burn to be born again
From the ashes the phoenix rises
Thereās nothing left to stop you
You got clear horizons
Fly to your new horizons, yeah
Fly to your new horizons
You know you gotta steal yourself against stormy weather
Nothingās ever perfect ācause you know this aināt Heaven
Angry Letter To God
September 9 - 10, 2010
I accuse you to your face
That I could put you in your place
Then all would be right by me
But you keep putting me down
And never let me turn around
Whatās the game, this sick insanity
Why raise me up to make me fall
What pleasure do you get in destroying it all
Iāve learned to live on next to nothing
Am I supposed to forget you like you forgot me
This is my angry letter to God
Before I can salvage faith, I have to save myself
Thereās a brick wall on every road I trod
Painful words etched into my brain, never any help
Pull myself up by my own bootstraps
If you really help those who help themselves
Enough with the backhanded slaps
I live good the best way I know how
A little divine intervention would go a long way right now
What about freedom of choice
Whereās my voice
Does it matter anyway
If we created you, when we forget, do you fade
The comforting hand does nothing but smite
But I can fight back with all my might
Writing these words about what I feel
Honesty I can put in a box, out of sight
Let them gather dust, never see the light
But they wouldnāt do any good and Iād never heal
Leave me alone if you donāt love me
Iām still a good person, let me be
Just back off and stay away
Stop killing me with constant hammering
This is my angry letter to God
Before I can salvage faith, I have to save myself
Thereās a brick wall on every road I trod
Painful words etched into my brain, never any help
Pull myself up by my own bootstraps
If you really help those who help themselves
Enough with the backhanded slaps
I live good the best way I know how
A little divine intervention would go a long way right now
What about freedom of choice
Whereās my voice
Does it matter anyway
If we created you, when we forget, do you fade
Iām not sorry, this is how I feel
It might not be important to you, but itās important to me
Give me enough time and I will heal
If you lived my life, maybe you would see
It took my angry letter to God to get positive results
Thatās why I followed this profane impulse
Maybe it will be better now that I have your attention
Maybe the world would be better if everyone mentioned
And shared their feelings in letters to God
Even if the concept seems odd
Feelings of praise, the good, the bad, and the ugly
Things will change if only our words God would read
Summerland
July 18, 2010
Gotta go to bed
Tired of the pounding in my head
Wonāt listen to those voices
Wonāt loose my soul
Donāt wanna wind up dead
Let the world keep on turning
Keep the inner fires burning
Tomorrow will be better
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
But today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few years left before I return to Summerland
The air is alive with vibrating blue
Thereās a temple on a mountain for me and you
Swim together in forgetful water
Where the healing spring is warm
Where our souls fly to the center of the galaxy
Where Paradise is built on the shore of the sea
But todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
Though today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Thereās too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few more years left before I come back to Summerland
A few more years left before I come back to Summerland
Back to Summerland
Face in the shadows
A long black tunnel to the midnight meadow
They whisper in my ear
The Morpheus gate
Broken dreams leave me hallow
But, let the world keep on turning
Keep the inner fires burning
Tomorrow will be better
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Just have a little faith
Find a way to quench the inner yearning
Quench the inner yearning
Todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
But today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few years left before I return to Summerland
The air is alive with vibrating blue
Thereās a temple on a mountain for me and you
Swim together in forgetful water
Where the healing spring is warm
Where our souls fly to the center of the galaxy
Where Paradise is built on the shore of the sea
But todayās just another day in Summerland
Walking along the beach, darlinā take my hand
Though today is not my day
I canāt sit on the sand
Thereās too many stars left to write in the sky
Thereās a few more years left before I come back to Summerland
A few more years left before I come back to Summerland
Back to Summerland
Not Qualified
July 17, 2010
Ha, ha
Meeting in person
That was fifty terabytes ago
Donāt want to see ya
Donāt recognize ya
Your face we donāt know
Canāt talk to ya
My other lineās rining
Gotta answer the phone
Mainframe kicked ya out
The computer shut down
Donāt bother us no more
Maybe if you had a pocket full of money
If you were a clean cut clone of the Debbies
Canāt do a thing for ya, honey
Be sure to eat at the buffet
āCause youāre
Not qualified
You need a degree to count to ten
Youāre not qualified
You know thatās what they said
Youāre not qualified
Better stamp it right here on my forehead
Youāre not qualified
Might as well climb back into bed
Iām not qualified
Yeah, thatās what they said
Hey, hey
Saw you here for years
Tolerate associates so slow
Youāre better for the position
Check the website on-line
Our program says yes or no
Executive benefits salary
Or flush you down the pipes
Either way, go with the flow
Stand in your line
And get your food stamps, baby
You got nowhere to go
Maybe if you had a pocket full of money
If you were a clean cut clone of the Debbies
Canāt do a thing for ya, honey
Be sure to eat at the buffet
āCause youāre
Not qualified
You need a degree to count to ten
Youāre not qualified
You know thatās what they said
Youāre not qualified
Better stamp it right here on my forehead
Youāre not qualified
Might as well climb back into bed
Iām not qualified
Yeah, thatās what they said
Stamp it on my forehead
I need a degree to count to ten
Really, to count to ten
Will the madness never end
Unplug the mainframe
Iām going microchip insane
Weāre not gonna hire you today
Thatās what they said
But weāll take your money
Be sure to eat at the buffet
Infinite Loop
July 19 - 20, 2010
So let me get this straight
You want me to go down roads Iāve gone down before
You want me to go knockinā on all the same old doors
Repeat
Knock on all the same old doors
Repeat
Knock on all the same old doors
Repeat that back to me
How is that helping
Donāt tell me to go down roads Iāve gone down before
Havenāt got the gas
Donāt tell me to knock on all the same old doors
Been there, done that
Itās just an infinite loop
Itās not good for me
Itās not good for you
Itās just an infinite loop
Time to try something new
Besides jumping through hoops
Itās just an infinite loop
And I canāt get by it
Itās just and infinite loop
Infinite loop, infinite loop, infinite loop
Tell me please
Does it ever get easy
Now hold on just a second
You want me to pick up the phone and call those numbers again
The past is the past, why do I have to revisit where Iāve been
Repeat
Revisit where Iāve been
Repeat
Revisit where Iāve been
Play that back for me
Itās just insane
Donāt tell me to go down roads Iāve gone down before
Havenāt got the gas
Donāt tell me to knock on all the same old doors
Been there, done that
Itās just an infinite loop
Itās not good for me
Itās not good for you
Itās just an infinite loop
Time to try something new
Besides jumping through hoops
Itās just an infinite loop
And I canāt get by it
Itās just and infinite loop
Infinite loop, infinite loop, infinite loop
Tell me please
Does it ever get easy
Feels like Iām playing against a stacked deck
And I donāt have a prayer in hell to win this bet
The simple things are too much for me
Itās always never ending adversity
Iām loosing it in infinite loops
Watching my life drift by on the wind
Cycle, repeat, get dirty, wash, and spin
Iām loosing it
Sell a piece here
Trade a piece there
Until thereās nothing
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