The Alchemist by Ben Jonson (best way to read an ebook txt) 📕
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First performed in 1610, The Alchemist is one of Ben Jonson’s greatest comedies. Written for the King’s Men—the acting company to which Shakespeare belonged—it was first performed in Oxford because the playhouses in London were closed due to the plague. It was an immediate success and has remained a popular staple ever since.
The play centers around a con man, his female accomplice, and a roguish butler who uses his master’s house to gull a series of victims out of their money and goods. Jonson uses the play to satirize as many people as he can—pompous lords, greedy commoners, and self-righteous Anabaptists alike—as his three con artists proceed to bilk everyone who comes to their door. They don multiple roles and weave elaborate tales to exploit their victims’ greed and amass a small fortune. But it all comes to a sudden, raucous end when the master unexpectedly returns to London and all the victims gather to try and reclaim their property.
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- Author: Ben Jonson
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verla, como la bien aventuranza de mi vida. Face
Mi vida! ’Slid, Subtle, he puts me in mind of the widow.
What dost thou say to draw her to it, ha!
And tell her ’tis her fortune? All our venture
Now lies upon’t. It is but one man more,
Which of us chance to have her: and beside,
There is no maidenhead to be feared or lost.
What dost thou think on’t, Subtle?
Who? I? Why—
FaceThe credit of our house too is engaged.
SubtleYou made me an offer for my share erewhile.
What wilt thou give me, i’faith?
O, by that light
I’ll not buy now: You know your doom to me.
E’en take your lot, obey your chance, sir; win her,
And wear her out, for me.
’Slight, I’ll not work her then.
FaceIt is the common cause; therefore bethink you.
Dol else must know it, as you said.
I care not.
Pertinax SurlySeñores, porque se tarda tanto?
SubtleFaith, I am not fit, I am old.
FaceThat’s now no reason, sir.
Pertinax SurlyPuede ser de hazer burla de mi amor?
FaceYou hear the Don too? By this air, I call,
And loose the hinges: Dol!
A plague of hell—
FaceWill you then do?
SubtleYou are a terrible rogue!
I’ll think of this: will you, sir, call the widow?
Yes, and I’ll take her too with all her faults,
Now I do think on’t better.
With all my heart, sir;
Am I discharged o’ the lot?
As you please.
SubtleHands.
They take hands. FaceRemember now, that upon any change,
You never claim her.
Much good joy, and health to you, sir,
Marry a whore! Fate, let me wed a witch first.
Por estas honradas barbas—
SubtleHe swears by his beard.
Dispatch, and call the brother too.
Tengo duda, señores,
que no me hagan alguna traycion.
How, issue on? Yes, praesto, sennor. Please you
Enthratha the chambrata, worthy Don:
Where if you please the fates, in your bathada,
You shall be soaked, and stroked, and tubbed and rubbed,
And scrubbed, and fubbed, dear Don, before you go.
You shall in faith, my scurvy baboon Don,
Be curried, clawed, and flawed, and tawed, indeed.
I will the heartlier go about it now,
And make the widow a punk so much the sooner,
To be revenged on this impetuous Face:
The quickly doing of it is the grace.
Another room in the same.
Enter Face, Kastril, and Dame Pliant. FaceCome, lady: I knew the Doctor would not leave,
Till he had found the very nick of her fortune.
To be a countess, say you, a Spanish countess, sir?
Dame PliantWhy, is that better than an English countess?
FaceBetter! ’Slight, make you that a question, lady?
KastrilNay, she is a fool, Captain, you must pardon her.
FaceAsk from your courtier, to your inns-of-court-man,
To your mere milliner; they will tell you all,
Your Spanish jennet is the best horse; your Spanish
Stoop is the best garb; your Spanish beard
Is the best cut; your Spanish ruffs are the best
Wear; your Spanish pavan the best dance;
Your Spanish titillation in a glove
The best perfume: and for your Spanish pike,
And Spanish blade, let your poor Captain speak—
Here comes the Doctor.
My most honoured lady,
For so I am now to style you, having found
By this my scheme, you are to undergo
An honourable fortune, very shortly.
What will you say now, if some—
I have told her all, sir,
And her right worshipful brother here, that she shall be
A countess; do not delay them, sir; a Spanish countess.
Still, my scarce-worshipful Captain, you can keep
No secret! Well, since he has told you, madam,
Do you forgive him, and I do.
She shall do that, sir;
I’ll look to it, ’tis my charge.
Well then: nought rests
But that she fit her love now to her fortune.
Truly I shall never brook a Spaniard.
SubtleNo!
Dame PliantNever since eighty-eight could I abide them,
And that was some three year afore I was born, in truth.
Come, you must love him, or be miserable,
Choose which you will.
By this good rush, persuade her,
She will cry strawberries else within this twelvemonth.
Nay, shads and mackerel, which is worse.
FaceIndeed, sir!
KastrilOd’s lid, you shall love him, or I’ll kick you.
Dame PliantWhy,
I’ll do as you will have me, brother.
Do,
Or by this hand I’ll maul you.
Nay, good sir,
Be not so fierce.
No, my enraged child;
She will be ruled. What, when she comes to taste
The pleasures of a countess! To be courted—
And kissed, and ruffled!
SubtleAy, behind the hangings.
FaceAnd then come forth in pomp!
SubtleAnd know her state!
FaceOf keeping all the idolaters of the chamber
Barer to her, than at their prayers!
Is served
Upon the knee!
And has her pages, ushers,
Footmen, and coaches—
Her six mares—
FaceNay, eight!
SubtleTo hurry her through London, to the Exchange,
Bedlam, the china-houses—
Yes, and have
The citizens gape at her, and praise her tires,
And my lord’s goose-turd bands, that ride with her!
Most brave! By this hand, you are not my sister,
If you refuse.
I will not refuse, brother.
Enter Surly. Pertinax SurlyQue es esto, señores, que no venga?
Esta tardanza me mata!
It is the Count come:
The Doctor knew he would be here, by his art.
En gallanta madama, Don! Gallantissima!
Pertinax SurlyPor todos los dioses, la mas acabada
hermosura, que he visto en mi vida!
Is’t not a gallant language that they speak?
KastrilAn admirable language! Is’t not French?
FaceNo, Spanish, sir.
KastrilIt goes like law-French,
And that, they say, is the courtliest language.
List, sir.
Pertinax SurlyEl sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el
Esplandor que trae esta dama! Válgame Dios!
He admires your sister.
KastrilMust not
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