Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

I took his hand and squeezed it. I could stand the fact that I’d just made a complete fool of myself in more ways than one. I couldn't stand the fact that he seemed to think he’d done something wrong. If he only knew how right it had been, how badly my whole body was screaming for more.

"You're not upset?" he asked at last.

"Only about the fact that you left me on the floor gaspin’ for air."

He actually laughed out loud, and the tension started to fade.

"I get it," I said. And I really did. Getting involved with me was doomed to fail. Even if he wanted me in the same way I wanted him, we'd only get a few days. Then the real world would tear us apart. What was the point of starting something that we both knew would come to an end? Sooner rather than later.

The reality hit me hard, and the tears again burned behind my eyes. I placed my hand over his, letting my thumb do small circles on his skin as I thought.

“Johnny?” I asked.

He raised an eyebrow in question.

I took a deep breath, trying to prepare for the answer. “What did you mean by . . .” my voice trailed off as I was unsure of how to put it. “I keep savin' your life?”

A small breath slipped from his lips, and he shook his head.

“Forget that.”

“I just passed out in front of you, it can't get more embarrassin' than that." I tried to joke, but his brief smile was gone as quick as it had come.

He looked away as if he couldn’t bring himself to meet my gaze, and the unmistakable shadow of shame came over his face.

A little chill ran down my spine. I’d never been surer. His actions confirmed what I’d already feared. He hadn’t planned to leave this island alive. Even though it made me want to cry by the thought of it, it also explained many things. Why he hadn’t brought anything when coming here, why he hadn’t been afraid of the storm—why he hadn’t been more careful with his life . . .

My eyes filled with tears and I struggled to not let them fall. I only managed to whisper his name, but he shook his head, silently begging me not to mention it.

It broke my heart to think of how he must have been feeling, but I let it go. He’d already told me more than what he was comfortable with.

“Okay,” I said instead. “Just . . . I’m not that kind of girl to gossip . . . I won’t tell anyone. You can always talk to me, and trust that it will stay between us. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said, and the sadness in his voice was replaced by a hint of amusement.

“You don’t believe me?”

He seemed to consider it. “Actually, I do; how dumb is that?”

I couldn't help but scowl, and he chuckled at my expression.

“I’ve only just met you and I trust you more than the women I’ve known for years.”

“Must be the soothing country-vibes. It works on the horses; seems to work on you, too.”

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a sideway glare. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, “You’re comparing me to a horse?”

“You should be flattered. The most meaningful relationships I have are with the animals.”

“They’re lucky.”

My eyes darted to him and widened in surprise. Feeling my cheeks blush from the intensity of his gaze, I quickly averted my eyes.

“Thank you, it means a lot.”

∞∞∞

I used to say I loved him, just like any other fan would, but that was before meeting him. And really, what was I thinking? You couldn't love someone you didn't know. Admiring someone for their talent, and of course, hot looks, was something completely different. And if people, including me, would call that love, so be it.

Watching him now, listening to his soft breathing as he slept made me feel so much more than simple admiration or attraction. It had only taken a few days for me to fall head over heels for him, just a few late nights of talking had taken care of that. It had nothing to do with his gorgeous face, which was enough reason for most girls. No, once I’d gotten to know him, I’d quickly realized he was so much more than a perfect body and looks to die for. I could easily see through the hardcore facade he put on for the rest of the world.

Careful not to wake him, I scooted closer on the bed, reached out a hand to gently brush a strand of hair out of his face. Then instead of pulling back, I let my fingers linger.

No matter how much I'd miss him, I’d look back at our time here and smile, I'd have to do that, no matter how hard it would be to forget him. Because that was the only option. Our lifestyles were too different. He, a world famous actor, and me, a simple farm-girl from Kentucky. Even if we’d get to meet again, there was no way it could work. So dreaming of a different outcome than what was bound to happen was pointless—but dream I did.

What wouldn’t I give to keep him in my life? To wake up every morning with him by my side. To be able to call him mine. It was pointless to even allow myself to think of it, because that was all it could ever be. Thoughts and dreams. I was so far from the typical girls he dated, and even if he for some reason fancied my looks, there was nothing more to me that could keep his interest. I knew nothing about the city life, let alone the Hollywood life. I wouldn’t survive one day under the lens of the paparazzi and the reporters who constantly followed him around. The social awkwardness was what had started the bullying in school. I’d been outcasted from day one, simply because I