Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

was different. That had not changed, and I was certain that if I’d ever set my foot in the glamorous city, the outcome would be the same. History repeating itself. There was no way I was going to put myself through that kind of torture. Dreaming of a life with the actor wasn’t just useless—it was also stupid. It wasn’t a life for me. Still, I couldn’t help but picture myself by his side on the streets of LA.

I knew I should go. The bed in the guest room was waiting for me, but I had only slept in it the first night. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to go there all alone, and sitting here now, watching Johnny sleep made it even harder to leave. I could stare at him forever and never grow tired of it. Soon it would be over. Maybe in the morning, the sun would shine again and the wind would be just a dim memory. And I would be off to the mainland, away from him. The thought of that almost made me hope the storm would never pass.

I was so lost in thought I didn’t notice him waking up, and when I blinked my vision back into focus, he was looking up at me. He didn’t speak, just kept on gazing at me with those deep, dark eyes, and it felt like he could see straight into my soul. Maybe the darkness made me braver, or I was caught up in the magic of the moment, but I didn’t feel the need to look away. Nor did I feel the need to speak, though I probably should explain why the hell I was sitting on his bedside watching him in the middle of the night.

Stalker? My mind suggested.

Still not speaking, he shifted, pulling away the covers from where I sat and I looked at him, a questioning look in my eyes. He made a small, almost invisible nod and I knew what he meant, but I was too stunned to act.

Millions of thoughts flashed through my head as I carefully slid down next to him in the bed. Johnny placed the covers back over both of us and I felt one arm around me, pulling me closer to him, stunning me all over again.

I only wore a thin shirt which I’d borrowed, and the warmth from his body as my back pressed against his front made my mind spin. He let out a long breath, and the slight tremble of it gave me the impression he was struggling with his emotions as well.

His hot breath tickled my neck as he placed a light kiss on my skin and whispered, “Stay with me tonight.”

Had I not already been lying down I would’ve passed out right then and there. I couldn't believe it, what was he thinking? What about his broken promise to himself?

Sleep, my mind whispered. But how could I, when all I wanted was to turn around and touch him.

Don’t do anythin’ stupid, the little voice warned me. I drew in a deep but silent breath, trying to still my speeding pulse.

Sleep, just sleep.

He shifted, and the arm holding me tightened its grip. I didn’t dare to move. His breath on my neck burned like fire against my skin. His fingers twitched, brushing against my belly and the gasp that slipped from my lips made him tense. One part of me wished he would move away; the other part was silently screaming for him to touch me. Almost as if he’d read my mind, he let his hand slowly glide over me, stopping briefly as it found its way into my shirt. I held my breath, forcing myself to be still, even though the light touch zapped through my entire body like bolts of electricity. His fingers moved gently over my body, making it impossible to not react. I was sure he could hear my heart pound, and no matter how careful I was to keep silent, the tremble of my breaths as I struggled to even breathe at all, was a dead giveaway. I wanted him so badly, and I was sure he knew it. I gulped, all too aware of his hard body pressed against mine. If I’d ever doubted it before, there was no denying it now. He wanted me, too, just as bad.

Was this really happening? Could it really—

“Fuck.” He removed his hand, letting out a trembling breath. “I didn’t mean to—" He rolled over to his back.

I didn’t dare to face him. I didn’t have the self-control that he had. He was right, it was the last thing we should do. Sleeping with him would only make it all worse. He knew it, I knew it. So why was it so hard to keep myself from—

“I should go,” I gasped.

His hand landed on my shoulder. “Please.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Don’t go.”

It took a long time before I dared to shift so I could see him. I managed a weak nod. How could I do anything else? There was no other place I’d rather be than in Johnny Grey’s bed. Even if it didn’t involve sex, it was still more than I’d ever dared to dream of.

“Ok.”

He let out a slow breath, closing his eyes, and I watched him as he seemed to struggle with his own feelings.

My hand trembled as I slung an arm across his chest. Nuzzling my face into his neck, I murmured a soft, “I’ll stay.”

11

Up close & Personal

Weak rays of sun tried to find their way through the blanket of dark clouds when we reached the beach the next day. It wasn't the same beach that he had taken me to yesterday. This beach was rocky and small, but just as impressive.

The storm had lessened but the wind still whipped up the water in big white waves, occasionally spraying drops of water on us where we stood.

I looked up at Johnny, smiling.

"This place