Gil Blas by Alain-René Lesage (best romance books of all time TXT) 📕

By dint of hard and frequent chastisement, I doubt not but you will ultimately bring him to a sense of his own unworthiness and your benevolence. May a blessing be vouchsafed on your pious and charitable labors for the early extirpation of sin and wickedness!

(Signed) “ ‘The Minister of Galves.’

“When I had finished reading this pleasant letter, which let me into the good intentions of his reverence the rector, it required little deliberation to determine what I was to do: from the inn to the banks of the Tagus, a space of three good miles, was but a hop, step, and jump. Fear lent me wings to escape from the governors of the foundling hospital, whither I was absolutely resolved never to return, having formed principles of taste diametrically opposite to their method of teaching the classics. I went into Toledo with as light a heart as if I had known where to get my daily bread. To be sure, it is a town of ways and means, where a man who can live by his wits need never die of hunger. Scarcely had I reached the high street, when a well-dressed gentleman, by whom I brushed, caught me by the arm, saying, ‘My little fellow, do you want a place? You are just such a smart lad as I was looking for.’

“ ‘And you are just the master for my money,’ answered I. ‘Since that is the case,’ rejoined he, ‘you are mine from this moment, and have only to follow me,’ which I did without asking any more questions.

“This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the name of Don Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-furnished apartments. He was by profession a blacklegs; and the following was the nature of our engagement. In the morning I got him as much tobacco as would smoke five or six pipes; brushed his clothes, and ran for a barber to shave him and trim his whiskers; after which he made the circle of the tennis-courts, whence he never returned home till eleven or twelve at night. But every morning, at going out, he gave me three reals for the expenses of the day, leaving me master of my own time till ten o’clock in the evening; and, provided I was within doors by his return, all was well. He gave me a livery besides, in which I looked like a little lackey of illicit love. I took very kindly to my condition, and certainly could not have met with any more congenial with my temper.

“Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly a month, when my employer inquired whether I liked his service; and on my answer in the affirmative, ‘Well, then!’ resumed he, ‘tomorrow we shall set out for Seville, whither my concerns call me. You will not be sorry to see the capital of Andalusia. “He that hath not Seville seen,” says the proverb, “Is no traveller I ween.” ’ I engaged at once to follow him all over the world. On that very day, the Seville carrier fetched away a large trunk with my master’s wardrobe, and on the next morning we were on the road for Andalusia.

“Señor Don Abel was so lucky at play, that he never lost but when it was convenient; but then it was seldom convenient to stay long in a place, because those who are always losers find out, at last, that though chance is a dangerous antagonist, certainly it is a desperate one; and that accounted for our journey. On our arrival at Seville, we took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed the same mode of life as at Toledo. But my master found some difference between the two towns. The Seville tennis-courts could produce players equally in fortune’s good graces with himself; so that he sometimes came home a good deal out of humor. One morning, when he was biting the bridle for the loss of a hundred pistoles the day before, he asked why I had not carried his linen to the laundress. I pleaded forgetfulness. Thereupon, flying into a passion, he gave me half-a-dozen boxes on the ear in such a style, as to kindle an illumination in my blinking eyes, to which the glories of Solomon’s temple were no more to be compared, than the torches in a Candlemas procession to a rush-light. ‘There is for you, you little scoundrel!’ said he; ‘take that, and learn to mind your business. Must I be eternally at your heels to remind you of what you are to do? Are your brains in your belly, and all your wits in your grinders? You are not a downright idiot. Then why not prevent my wants and anticipate my orders?’ After this experimental lecture, he went out for the day, leaving me in high dudgeon at a reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the ostler, for such a trifle as not getting up his things for the wash.

“I could never learn what happened to him a short time after at a tennis-court; but one evening he came home in a terrible heat. ‘Scipio,’ said he, ‘I am bent on going to Italy, and must embark the day after tomorrow on board a vessel bound for Genoa. I have my reasons for making this little excursion; of course you will be glad to attend me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of seeing the loveliest country on the face of the earth.’ My tongue gave consent; but with a salvo in my heart, and a bargain with my revenge, to give him the slip just at the moment of embarkation. This was so delightful a scheme, that I could not help imparting it to a bully by profession, whom I met in the street. During my abode in Seville, I had picked up some awkward acquaintance, and this was one of the most ungainly. I told him how and why my ears had been boxed,