Gil Blas by Alain-René Lesage (best romance books of all time TXT) 📕

necessary question of the play, and ran down the staircase, through the saloon to the door, calling out, ‘Make way! make way! I must change my dress, and run up again in a moment!’ They all made a lane, for fear of hindering me; so that in less than two minutes I got clear out of the palace, under cover of the darkness, and scampered to the house of my friend who saw gentlemen’s trunks safe on board.

“He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment! But when I let him into the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready to split his sides. Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of his heart, because he flattered himself with the hope of a pension on the King of León’s civil list, he wished me joy of so successful a first appearance, and joined issue with the majordomo in the prognostic, that with encouragement and practice I should turn out a first-rate actor, and make no little noise in the world. After we had diverted ourselves for some time at the expense of my manager and audience, I said to the bully, ‘What shall we do with this magnificent dress?’

“ ‘Do not make yourself uneasy about that,’ answered he. ‘I know an honest broker, without an atom of curiosity in his composition, who will buy or sell anything with any person, provided that he gets the turn of the market upon the transaction. I will fetch him to you tomorrow morning.’ The knowing fellow was as good as his word; for he went out early the next day, leaving me in bed, and returned two hours afterwards with the broker, carrying a yellow bundle under his arm. ‘My friend,’ said he, ‘give me leave to introduce Señor Ybagnez of Segovia, who, in spite of the bad example set him by the trade in general, trusts to fair dealing and small profits for a moderate pittance and an unblemished character. He will tell you to a fraction what the dress you want to part with is really worth, and you may take his calculation as the balance of justice between man and man.’

“ ‘O, yes! to a nicety,’ said the broker. ‘Else wherefore live I in a Christian land, but to appraise for my neighbor as for myself? To take a mean advantage never was, thank heaven! and at these years never shall be imputed to Ybagnez of Segovia. Let us look a little at those articles! You are the seller; I am the buyer! We have only to agree upon an equitable price.’

“ ‘Here they are,’ said the bully, pulling them out: ‘now own the truth⁠—was there ever anything more magnificent? You do not often see such velvet: and then the trimming!’

“ ‘You cannot say too much of it,’ answered the salesman, examining the suit with the prying eye of a dealer: ‘it is of the very first quality.’

“ ‘And what think you of the pearls upon this crown?’ resumed my friend. ‘A little rounder,’ observed Ybagnez, ‘and there would be no setting a price upon them! However, take them as they are, it is a very fine set, and I do not want to find fault about trifles. Now, your common run of appraisers, under my circumstances, would affect to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them cheaper; one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer twenty pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining with an upright, downright man! I will give forty at a word; take them or leave them.’

“Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not have burned his fingers; for the pearls alone would have fetched two hundred anywhere. The bully, who went snacks, then said, ‘Now only look! What a mercy it is to fall into the hands of a man not of this world! Señor Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in comparison of his principles and his soul. He may die tonight, and yet not be taken unprepared!’

“ ‘This is too much! You make me blush,’ said the salesman of principle and soul; ‘but so far is true, that my price is always fixed. Well, now, is it a bargain? The money down upon the nail too!’

“ ‘Stop a moment,’ answered the bully; ‘my little friend must first try on the clothes you have brought for him by my order: I am very much mistaken if they will not just fit him.’ The salesman then, untying his bundle, showed me a secondhand suit of dark cloth with silver buttons. I got up, and got into it: too big for me every way! but these gentlemen could have sworn it had been made to my measure. Ybagnez put it at ten pistoles; and as he was an upright, downright man, of fixed principle and soul, estimating money as dross in comparison of integrity, his first price was of course his last. He therefore took out his purse, and counted down thirty pistoles upon a table; after which he packed up the King of León’s regalia, and went his way.

“When he was gone, the bully said, ‘I am very well satisfied with that broker.’ And so he well might be; for I am certain he must have received at least a hundred pistoles as hush-money. But there was no reason why the broker’s benevolence should pay the debts of my gratitude: so he took half the money on the table, without saying with your leave or by your leave, and suffered me to pocket the remainder, with the following advice: ‘My dear Scipio, with that balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you get out of this town as fast as you can; for you may suppose that my lord archbishop will ferret you out if you are above ground. It would grieve me to the heart if, after having risen so superior to the prejudice of honesty, you had the weakness to fall foul of what alone keeps it afloat⁠—the house of correction.’ I answered that it was