Gil Blas by Alain-René Lesage (best romance books of all time TXT) 📕

the way he should go; but there was no breaking him in; Master Gaspard ran restive, and bolted into downright libertinism. You may perhaps tell me that I spared the rod and spoiled the child. Quite otherwise! he was punished whenever the occasion seemed to demand it; for, though good-tempered at bottom, I am not to be played upon. I have even gone so far as to lock him up; but that only made him more headstrong than before. In short, he is one of those impracticable beings, on whom good example, good advice, and a good horsewhip, are equally thrown away. If ever he makes any figure in the world, it must be by a miracle from heaven.’

“Though my heart was not grievously wrung by the sorrows of this unhappy father, sympathy was expected from me, and I condoled with him accordingly. ‘How much to be pitied you are, sir!’ said I. ‘Virtues like yours deserve to have been handed down in your progeny.’

“ ‘The event is quite the reverse, my good lad,’ answered he. ‘Heaven heard my prayer, and gave me a son, but converted the blessing into an affliction. Among other grounds of complaint against Gaspard, I may tell you, in confidence, there is one which gives me a great deal of uneasiness; a vast longing to rob his old father, which he too often finds the means of satisfying, in spite of all my caution. Your predecessor played into his hands, and was turned away in consequence. As for you, I flatter myself that my son will never be able to tamper with your honesty. You will take my side of the question; for doubtless Father Alexis has given you your lesson on that head.’

“ ‘You may rest assured of that,’ said I: ‘for a good long hour did his reverence lecture me on doing your will and pleasure without let or hinderance; but I can assure you there was no need of his saying anything about the matter. I feel within myself a sort of call to serve you faithfully, and I promise to do it with a zeal beyond all the temptations of the world to shake or lessen.’

“He who only hears one side is in danger of deciding partially. Young Velasquez, a mixture of the fribble and the braggart, concluding from the cut of my countenance that I was made up of mortal frailty, like my predecessor, drew me aside to a snug corner, and there talked to me after this fashion: ‘Now mind what is said to you, my dear fellow; you may think I do not know that you are set as a spy upon me by my father; but take especial care how you proceed, for I can assure you most sincerely, that the office is not without very considerable inconvenience to those who undertake it. If ever I find that you tell tales out of school, I will give you such a basting as you never had in your life; but if you will make common cause with me, and a fool of my father, you may buy golden returns of gratitude from your humble servant. Do you wish me to deal with you upon the nail? You shall go snacks in all that we can squeeze out of the old fellow. You have only to take your choice: fall at once into the ranks either of father or son; for neutrals will come worst off, where the contending parties fight for their existence.’

“ ‘Sir,’ answered I, ‘you make the shoe pinch very tight; it is self-evident that there is nothing for me to do but to enlist under your banners, though in my conscience it seems like a crying sin to betray Señor Velasquez.’

“ ‘That is no concern of yours,’ rejoined Gaspard; ‘he is an old hunks, who wants to keep me under his thumb; a curmudgeon, who refuses me the rights of nature, in refusing to stand to the expenses and repairs of my pleasures; for pleasured are the necessaries of life at five-and-twenty. It is in this point of view that you must form your opinion of my father.’

“ ‘If that is the case, so be it, sir,’ said I; ‘there is no standing against so just a subject of complaint. I am quite at your service to play second fiddle in all your laudable enterprises; but let us take especial care to conceal our good understanding, for fear, your faithful, humble servant should be kicked out of doors. It will not be amiss, in my poor opinion, for you to affect an extreme antipathy against me: some good round of abuse would have a very pretty effect; you need not be nice; all the blackguard terms in the dictionary will come at your call. Nay, a box on the ear now and then, or a kick on the breech, will break no squares; on the contrary, the more you express your thorough dislike, the more Señor Balthasar will pin his faith upon my sleeve. My cue will be, apparently, to avoid speaking to you if possible. In waiting at table, I shall perform my little attentions to you at arm’s length; and whenever your honor may happen to be called over the coals by the shopmen, you must not take it amiss if I abuse you worse than a pickpocket.’

“ ‘As plain as chalk from cheese!’ cried young Velasquez at this last hint; ‘this is admirable, my friend; at your early age it is uncommon to meet with such a talent for intrigue; I consider it as a most happy omen for my purpose. With such a performer to play up to me, I flatter myself the old codger will be pinched to the bone and left penniless.’

“ ‘You really carry your good opinion of me beyond what my merit will justify,’ said I; ‘some industry may fall to my share, but not such exalted genius. But I shall do my utmost; and if my honest endeavors fail, your candor must find