Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life by Jason Goodwin (great books for teens .txt) 📕

by ending anunhealthy relationship is the same love that can carry us throughthe pain of a breakup.

Love comes in many forms. Three years ago, Ibought a miniature dachshund named William Wallace. “Willie” hasbeen a constant source of unconditional love in my life. I letpeople into my life who treat me well and are willing to prove theyare trustworthy over time. I work to strengthen my relationshipwith God. I work to resolve my personal issues so that I can becomemore loving to others.

There are many ways to find the love we need.We must open our hearts when it’s safe, protect ourselves when weneed to, and never, ever give up.

Personal Journal Entries

Entry #1: You Deserve Love

I have to heal my inner child, because he isthe one who believes he doesn’t deserve to be loved.

My negative beliefs about myself areresistant to change. A part of me is afraid of healing. I havegrown comfortable with my belief that I don’t deserve to be loved.I need to push through this resistance in my mind. Can I say, “Ideserve to be loved” out loud and mean it?

Sometimes I feel afraid of abandonment. Inthe past, I felt abandoned when I was living alone, sometimes evenwhen I was with a partner. It’s not logical, but that’s how Ifelt.

When I feel abandoned, I feel unloved, cold,and empty, because I don’t feel loved by others, and I don’t lovemyself.

My abusers fed me, housed me, and never leftme alone for very long. But I never felt loved by them.

At the root of my fear of abandonment is myfear of being unloved. I need to let myself shake and release thisfear. I need lots of love in order to heal. I deserve to be loved.I will do whatever I can to help myself feel loved.

I will have a pet, because I deserveunconditional love in my life. If I am with a partner who isincapable of loving me, I will break off that relationship and keeplooking for a partner who can give me the love I need. Someone whocan demonstrate their love for me through their actions. I deservelove. I will never give up on finding it.

If I catch myself saying, “I don’t deserve tobe loved,” I need to ask myself why I feel that way. I need to findout where that inner voice is coming from, and the reasons that Ifeel unworthy of love. I need to refute the lies I was told by myabusers about who I am and what I deserve.

When I decided to become a counselor, it tookme two years of hard work and frustration to get my Master’sDegree. I need to put the same kind of effort into myrelationships. I need to remember the concept of merit-based pay,because it’s true in relationships just like everything else. Iwill only get what I work for. I could not have found a good jobwithout getting my Master’s Degree first. I will not find a goodrelationship until I heal the sexual abuse.

Personal Journal Entries

Entry #2: What Happens When You Realize YouDeserve To Be Loved

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I don’thave to try to force anyone to love me.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, Iattract loving people.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I feelloved.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I lovemyself.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I canand will let go of unloving people.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, Irealize that everyone deserves to be loved.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, nosetback can stop me from finding the love that I deserve.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I willeventually find the love that I seek.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I knowthat love is coming my way. I will see it and welcome it into mylife.

When I realize I deserve to be loved, I willnever give up on finding a partner who will truly love me.

Knowing I deserve to be loved comes fromself-esteem. Being worthy means believing I am a good person. WhenI love myself and believe I am a good person, I realize I deserveto be loved.

I really need to love myself from now on.Everyone deserves to be loved. I deserve to be loved.

Process Worksheet

Did I receive the kind of love I wanted orneeded as a child or adult?

If I did not received the kind of love Iwanted or needed as a child or adult, what are the unhealthy ways Itried to compensate for feeling unloved? (Becoming sexuallypromiscuous, turning to drugs or alcohol, pushing people away,isolating myself, etc…)

What sources of love can I turn to now?(Parents, God, family, pets, friends, significant other, kids,self, etc.…)

How does my self-esteem improve when I feelloved?

What am I doing in my life right now to getthe love that I need? (Finding new friendships, getting a pet,strengthening my relationship with God, healing my relationshipswith parents or family, dating, etc…)

Stepping Stones to Health

Deserving Love

-Try to identify where you are in thestepping-stones to health, and the next step or steps you need totake.

_____ 1. I feel that I am unlovable.

_____ 2. I believe that there are loveablepeople in this world, but I’m not one of them.

_____ 3. I might deserve to be loved if Ihadn’t done such terrible things in the past.

_____ 4. I figure the reason I was unloved asa child was that I was not worthy of being loved.

_____ 5. I figure I must have done somethingterribly wrong to deserve their abuse.

_____ 6. I’m starting to think it might nothave been my fault that I was abused.

_____ 7. It seems strange. Other people haveloved me throughout my life, just not my abuser/abusers.

_____ 8. I can finally see that if it hadn’tbeen me, my abuser/abusers would have found someone else toabuse.

_____ 9. I think maybe I am a good person.The things my abuser/abusers did can’t change that.

_____ 10. I am