Destined to Change by Harley, M. (top android ebook reader TXT) 📕

grabbed my hand, “No, not here. Not like this. Not our first time, Lor. Our first time together needs to be special, not in a jeep. I think I love you, Lor.”

His words hit me like a ton of bricks, mostly because I felt the same way about him. But I never thought he could love me. I’m just a little country girl and he definitely didn’t fit into my world.

“You don’t have to say anything; I just want you to know what I’m feeling.” He said as he looked down and clasped his hand in mine.

I used my other hand to tilt his face up to look at me. “Jaxon, I never thought I would say this to another man, but I think I'm falling in love with you too.”

After our “we almost love each other” declarations, we straightened our clothes out and started toward the lake again. When we pulled up, the party was in full swing. I spotted Emma and Eric out by the bonfire. It reminded of that night so many years ago when Declan and I had come back to the bonfire at the pond to pick up a very drunk Eric. And to see him standing there already drunk again really pissed me off. I wanted to go up to him and remind him of what happened that night and how if he hadn’t gotten so drunk I would be married to Declan now and my kids would have their father. But I didn’t. I just smiled and led Jaxon out to them.

Jaxon looked so out of place amongst all these cowboys. He was nervous, but I was the only one who knew that. He kinda looked scary. Scary probably isn’t the right word. He looked intimidating.

I squeezed his hand and looked up at him, trying to let him know that it was okay. I wanted him to feel comfortable around these people. I don’t know who I thought I was kidding. I hadn’t felt comfortable around these people for years.

The last bonfire party I went to didn’t end so well. It had been over ten years since I came to a party with my friends. It just didn’t feel right without Declan. I really wished that my mind hadn’t gone there. Now everywhere I looked I could see him. Jaxon must have noticed that my mind was wandering. He squeezed my hand and looked at me like he really wanted to help, but didn’t know what to do.

“Lor, you’re here! I can’t believe you actually came!” Emma hollered as she came running up from the other side of the beach. She looked like one of those bad tampon commercials where the girl is running across the beach towards her lover. This really helped my mood. I was laughing inside and started running toward Emma, pulling Jaxon with me.

Emma couldn't take her eyes off of Jaxon. She looked him up and down and up and down again. Then she looked at me and gave me a not so subtle wink and nod of approval. “And this must be the amazing Jaxon I have heard so much about?” Emma said to Jaxon.

“Well I don't know about amazing, but I am Jaxon. It's really nice to finally meet you Emma.” Jaxon wouldn't let go of my hand and I was really glad he didn't. We both needed each other to make it through this night.

“Eric is dying to meet you,” Emma said and then yelled, “Hey Eric, get your ass over here and meet the amazing Jaxon.”

Eric came walking over, assessing Jaxon from his motorcycle boots, to his “fancy” pants, to his pierced eyebrow and shaggy hair. I could tell by the glaring look of disapproval on his face that he didn’t like what he was seeing.  “Hey, man, nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you from Lor and the kids.” Jaxon said to Eric as he stuck his hand out to shake hands.

Eric didn't move. He didn't say anything. He just stood there staring at Jaxon and then he looked over at me. “Can I talk to you for a second, alone?”

Jaxon dropped his hands to his sides. I winced at the loss of that connection to him. Eric grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the bonfire. Emma just looked at me with raised eyebrows. Silently saying, “I don't know what he's doing.” She asked Jaxon if he wanted to go get a beer. They headed off to the coolers as Eric, and I walked away.

“What the hell are you doing with a guy like that? Do you really think that's the kind of person Declan would want around his kids? You do remember whose kids they are, right?” Eric was being so hateful. This man had helped me so much since Declan died and now that I was finally finding happiness he was pissed at me. I couldn't help myself.

The words flew out of my mouth. “Yeah Eric, I remember who's kids they are, do you? They aren't yours, they're Declan's, and he’s dead because we had to come get your drunk ass and drive you home! And that's the reason why I’ve been so miserable for so long. Now I’m finally finding a little bit of happiness and you’re mad at me? Are you fucking kidding me?”

I didn't need this shit and I wasn't going to deal with it tonight. I made my way over to Jaxon and I couldn’t contain the tears that started falling. I grabbed Jaxon's arm and asked him to get me out of there. He put his beer down and we rushed over to the jeep.

Emma asked as she followed Jaxon and me to the jeep. “Where are you going, Lor? Please don't leave, the party is just starting. What the hell did he say to you?”

“I can't do this Emma. I thought I was ready but I'm not. And Eric doesn't think Jaxon is the right guy for me? What the fuck?