The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

I assume that he’s going to be the new right tackle in Gunnar’s place?” I asked, and he nodded.  I did have some thoughts on that, how it was going to change the offense and what that would mean for our all-star quarterback.  I felt better the longer I talked about the Woodsmen.  This was something I was comfortable with, something I really knew.  Ben kept asking me questions, and finally, I realized what he was doing.

“You don’t really need to hear my opinion,” I stated.  “You already know what I’m telling you, right?  No, I’m not mad,” I said quickly, when he started to deny it.  “I appreciate you distracting me.  Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.  I actually hadn’t thought about everything you just said, either.  I appreciate it, too.”  He tilted his head.  “You seem calmer now.  Maybe you just needed some space from your family.”

Space.  That reminded me of what Tessa had said before about her mommy and grandmas being “far.”  “Can I ask you a question?”  He nodded.  The golden sparks in his eyes jumped as the fire licked higher.  “Tessa told me she won’t be able to see her mimi because she’s too ‘far’ to visit.  Does she live in Arizona, like your mom does?  Is she too frail to see Tessa or something?”

He looked at me for another moment, then turned to the fire.  “That grandma lives in Texas, where I went to college.  That was where my wife was from.  Did Tess talk a lot about her?”

“She said that she was far, that was all.  But she was sad when she told me.”

Ben nodded, very slowly and very controlled.  “She spent some time with Mimi in the past.  I told Tessa that she’s too far away to visit, now that we live in Michigan.”  He shrugged.  “Mimi let me know that she wasn’t very interested in keeping up their relationship.”

“That’s terrible!”  I boiled with anger for Tessa.  “She isn’t a good grandma at all!  Pardon me for saying so.”

He got a funny, half-smile.  “Tessa is better off without her influence.  We hadn’t seen her in a long time, anyway.”

“Or Tessa’s mom, either?” I asked, baldly curious.

His jaw clenched and released.  “Her mom left us when Tess was an infant.  Two and a half months old.  Tessa was premature and was in the hospital for several weeks, and when she came out, my wife decided that she wanted to go.  We got a divorce and Tessa and I didn’t see her again.”  He stared hard at the fire, his eyes burning back at it.  “A year later, she died in a car accident.  Tessa doesn’t know about the leaving part.”  He looked back to me, just as intense.  “She only knows that her mother is dead, as much as she understands the concept, and I want it to stay that way.  There’s no reason for her to be burdened with everything else.”

“Of course!” I answered immediately.  “I’m so sorry.  Ben, I’m so sorry.”  I windshield-wipered under my eyes again at the thought of Tessa as a tiny little baby with no mother to take care of her, and of Ben, losing the woman he loved.  “It’s just been you and Tessa?”

“The two of us and a lot of babysitters.  Sometimes my mom flew out to Alabama where I was coaching, but she doesn’t like to leave home very much.  A few times, we visited Mimi, but she and I don’t get along very well.  My wife and I had problems for a long time, and her mom blamed me for them.  Marin…”  He trailed off and huffed a laugh, like he was surprised.  “I haven’t said her name in a long time.  Marin.  It sounds almost funny to hear it here, in this place where she never would have set foot.”  He looked around at the dark room, then suddenly stood, startling me.  “I’ll get your things.”

When he came back with my bag of hair products, I was ready at the door.  “I’m sorry for leaving my stuff and I’m sorry that I brought up a lot of bad memoires.  If I ever forget something again, you can just text me and I’ll get it later,” I told him.  I opened the door and walked onto the porch.

“I thought about sending you a message.”  Ben stepped out after me.  “But I knew you were worried about your dinner and I wanted to hear how it was.”

I felt my eyes widen.  “Oh, thanks!  Thanks for caring.”  I walked down the steps toward the scorched car and I heard him speak again, quietly.

“I also wanted to hear your voice,” he said, and he sounded surprised again.

Chapter 7

I sat in the parking lot, not wanting to get out of the car.  But it was unusually warm today for April, and the air in here was getting uncomfortable in the bright, spring sun.

Or maybe it was just that I was uncomfortable inside myself.  I really hated coming to these tumbling classes!  It was utterly humiliating…I stopped those thoughts, because it didn’t matter how I felt about them.  The most important thing was that the classes were working, and Coach Sam and Rylah had noticed a difference in me in practice.  I hadn’t been called back into the office in the last few weeks and I hadn’t been cut, although others had been.

Parys and Tiara had only gotten a stern talking to when they’d been called back, but in week three, we said goodbye to Luna (who had already been warned about her focus) and she wasn’t the only one who had marched out to the parking lot, never to return.  In week four, it was Stella (who I thought danced better than I did, which made her exit quite scary).  But she had fallen into a few episodes of whining, and I had noticed the team captains shooting her the stink eye more than once.

Keeley’s cut in the fifth week seemed to come out of