Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

think we’re going to put the house on the market. I don’t want it and neither does he. We’ll split the profit. As far as our stuff, we’ll just divide it up.”

“I can’t believe everything is just that easy. Sounds like the smoothest divorce in history.”

“Yeah it’s kind of crazy. I’m just glad things worked out and it wasn’t a big fuss. I’m so relieved.”

“I’m sure you are,” I said. “Wish it would be that easy for me.”

“You don’t know the level of difficulty it will be for you because you won’t make the first move.”

Nope. I sure wouldn’t. I couldn’t. She didn’t understand the mess I was in. Not only were Marcus and I betraying each other, I had my own demons that literally ruled my mind. I wasn’t sure I’d ever win the battle between my emotions and mental state.

“If I felt like it was something I could handle, I’d do it. Just not a good time,” I said. “But this isn’t about me. Are you going to get an apartment?”

“I’m going to start looking. Will you be able to help me move?”

“You know I will. As long as it’s a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, I’m in. Just let me know when you need me.”

“You’re the best.” She said.

“I’m proud of you, Melinda. I know divorce is awful. Nobody goes into a marriage expecting it to end, but I’m proud of you for having the courage to end something that wasn’t right for you. It was a strength I wish I possessed.”

“You’re strong too, Abby,” she said. “You just have to believe in yourself and know that you have a support system. Don’t let the demons win. You’re not alone.”

Her words went in one ear and out the other. I wasn’t sure there was anything my best friend, or a therapist could say at that point to make me feel any differently. The majority of the time I felt alone and depressed. There was only one person who could shift my spirits.

Gage: We still on for tomorrow?

Me: Yes! I can’t wait! What time?

Gage: Would nine-ish be okay? As long as I’m able to check in the room?

Me: That would be good! How long will you have?

Gage: A couple hours. You?

Me: I don’t really have a time limit, but a couple hours will probably be safe.

Gage: I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for something before. To kiss you, to hold you, to feel you. Everything will be so much better now that we’ve admitted we love each other.

Me: I totally agree. I still can’t believe this is real.

Gage: Believe it, baby. I love you.

Me: I love you.

 

Every time he said those words my heart melted into a puddle. I could swim there happily forever. Despite all the woes and troubles in my life, he was the light in the darkness. I knew it from the moment I first met him. He was the puzzle piece I’d been missing.

The haunting demons that ruled my mind never let me stay at peace, though. They were always there to remind me that this was all too good to be true, and someone else’s husband wasn’t my soulmate or missing piece.

A war was brewing within my soul, and it was unclear which side would win the battle. I pulled for the side that said Gage was it for me. He ignited a fire that I’d never felt before, one I couldn’t stand the thought of diffusing. Despite all our struggles and all the trials, it always came back to my love for him. It was so strong that if I lost him again, I didn’t know how I could ever move on with my life. I never knew love could hold so much power and that scared the crap out of me. Worry often engrossed my brain, but I was in too deep. There was no going back now.

***

Marcus left out early Saturday morning, giving me plenty of time to prepare for my visit with Gage alone, in peace. My closet was a disaster as I tore it apart in search of the perfect thing to wear. I’d taken a shower, applied my make-up, and let my hair hang down long in loose curls. I wanted to look my absolute best. Honestly, I wanted Gage to realize what he’d been missing the time we were apart.

I finally settled on a black dress, my under garments black to match. I put on a pair of dressy sandals and looked at myself in the mirror, satisfied with my appearance.

Gage: I’m here.

My heart fluttered at the message. He’d gotten in the room. There was always the chance that he wouldn’t be able to check-in, but everything worked out and he was waiting on me. The thirty-minute drive to the hotel was going to drag. I couldn’t wait to see him.

Me: On my way.

 

The drive was torturous. Gage gave me the first-time butterflies every time I saw him. Things are always good in the beginning, but I didn’t know how I could ever get tired of this feeling.

He texted me the room number and I entered the lobby and climbed onto the elevator. I kept my head down the whole time, discreetly trying to be on the lookout for anyone familiar. That was all I needed, to run into someone I knew. That was a chance I was willing to take.

The elevator ride seemed like it took forever, but I finally made it to the fifth floor. I exited to the right and walked a few more steps before I arrived at my destination. I’d been waiting long enough. I turned the knob and stepped inside, locking the door behind me. The room was dark, the only light emitting from a few lit candles placed around the room. There