Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

“When does training start?” he asked.

“Monday!”

“Yeah, that five-week program is a bit intense, but you’ll be fine.”

“That kind of is a long time, but I could use a change of scenery. Do you get to come home on the weekends at least?”

The only concern that crossed my mind was being away from Gage. Most of the time we got to see each other was during the week. Weekends were a rare occasion.

“Oh yeah, they fly you back and forth.”

That was a relief. Hopefully Gage and I would be able to handle the distance. Taking this job was a no-brainer. I had to do this for me.

“That’s good,” I said. “I can’t believe today is your last day.”

“It’s bitter sweet.” He said.

With a congratulatory hug and words of encouragement, I was out the door and back to my desk while he packed up his office.

Once back in my space, I replied to the e-mail with my acceptance, then grabbed my phone from my desk drawer. I couldn’t wait to share the news with Gage.

Me: I GOT THE JOB!

Gage: Congrats, babe! That’s awesome!

Me: Thank you! I’m so excited! Only downside…training starts Monday. And it’s for five weeks. And it’s in Atlanta.

Gage: I don’t get to see you for five weeks?

Me: Well, I get to come home on the weekends. Everything is paid for by the company.

Gage: That’s still kind of a bummer.

Me: I know. But we have to think positive!

Gage: I know. I’m happy for you.

A piece of me wondered if he actually was happy. It’s obviously hard to decipher someone’s tone through a text, but something about his words sounded off. I knew the five weeks was going to be hard, but if he couldn’t stick with me, then he certainly didn’t love me like he said he did. That was a difficult thought to process. I loved him with my entire soul. I would have given him anything, but I wasn’t always sure if that was reciprocated. And that hurt. I hated being an overthinker.

One positive side of the five-week training was being away from Marcus. I was sure he’d too be happy about the “break.” I’d wait to tell him about the job until we were both home that evening. There was no rush to text or call him. He didn’t care about me. He had more important things to tend to.

Per the orders in the follow-up e-mail, I began sorting through things and divvying tasks to other team members in the department. Then I began moving supplies and files from my tiny cubicle to Mike’s large office. My own office. After I’d spent most of my adult life not working, it was great to feel successful. As if I couldn’t be happier, a random message during the day peaked my mood a little more.

Gage: Since you are off tomorrow, can we meet? If not, I don’t know when I’ll see you again.

Me: I would love nothing more.

There was something off with him. He was acting as if he would never see me again. I almost felt as if he were trying to put distance between us, and that bothered me. It felt like the beginning of a bad break-up, and that’s something I definitely couldn’t handle. I didn’t need this right now. I needed him and his support. I thought I always had it. Although I wanted to send him a message and ask him if there was a concern, I couldn’t let my feelings show.

I needed things with Gage to be solid, but every time I thought we were good, another issue ensued, crumbling our bond a little more.

I’d become a good actress. No one could read my emotions anymore. Marcus and Gage were both blind to the truth behind my eyes. I’d perfected the art of being secret. Some things just didn’t need to be discovered.

***

Conversation between Marcus and I was basically nonexistent the last few days, but I was happy to tell him that I got the job and would be out of town for five weeks. He didn’t get home until nearly nine o’ clock, and I was already in bed, flipping through channels on the TV.

“Hey,” he said, entering the room.

“Hey.”

“Good day?” he asked.

“Yes. You?”

“I guess,” he shrugged.

“I got that job.” I said.

“Awesome.”

That’s all I got from him. A freaking awesome. Screw him.

“Training starts Monday. It’s for five weeks, and it’s in Atlanta…so I’ll be out of town for a while.”

“You going to be able to handle that?” he asked.

“Um. Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

“You’ve never been anywhere far by yourself for a long period of time. Just making sure you’ll be okay.”

What the hell ever. He didn’t care about my wellbeing.

“I’ll be fine. I get to come home on the weekends. Company pays for everything.”

“Well good. Good for you.”

That was it. I’d had enough. So maybe I was trying to start a fight, but something had to give. I wanted to push him over the edge. I wanted him to make the move.

“That’s it? Really, Marcus? What’s the deal? Why are things so weird between us?”

He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I know I upset you the other night. I was giving you your space.”

Another line full of crap. I just wanted him to tell me the truth. I wanted everything between us out in the air. Why can’t I be the one to do it?

“So not talking to me for three days is the way to solve our problems? Haven’t you ever heard that communication is key in a relationship?”

“Abby, I know. Things between us have been so tense lately, and honestly, I’m scared to confront it.”

“And why is that? Why have they been so