Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

things into our suitcases while he sat in misery, gasping for air. The tightness in his chest was evident as he struggled to breathe. I hated him for what he’d done to us. I hated him for the person he made me become. It was in this moment that I realized maybe I didn’t hate him as much as I thought. Maybe the care I had for him was more than what I believed.

Paramedics came in, checked his vitals, and took him out in a rush. I carried all of our bags down to the lobby and checked us out of our room. As I made my way to the hospital, I thought about how I dreaded coming on this trip to begin with. Although I didn’t want to be here, I certainly didn’t want it to end this way.

Once inside the hospital, I stopped at the front desk to find out where he had been placed. He was in one of the small rooms shut off by a curtain. When I pulled back the curtain, he was lying in the hospital bed on his cell phone.

“How are you feeling?” I asked. Must not be too bad if you’re on your phone. He must’ve been filling in Katie on his medical condition.

“About the same. The chest pains come and go.” He said, setting his phone down beside him.

“Everything okay at work?” I asked, glancing at the device.

“I was just passing time while I wait for the doctor to come in.”

“Oh,” I said, nodding.

He picked his phone back up so I sat down in a seat across from his bed and pulled mine out too.

Me: Trip ended early. At the hospital with Marcus.

Gage: Please tell me you’re okay.

Me: I’m fine. It’s him.

Gage: I’d ask what happened, but I really don’t give a shit. How are you?

Me: I’m okay. Just ready to go home. I didn’t want to come here this weekend anyway. I miss you.

Gage: I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you again.

Me: Same.

After waiting for over an hour, the doctor finally came in and evaluated Marcus. She ran tests and drew blood, but there was no official diagnosis. His blood pressure was extremely high, so she strongly enforced the fact that he needed to see a cardiologist. She prescribed him some medicine for the pain, and we were off. As I drove us home, I couldn’t help but bring up what I’d been telling him all along.

“You know, I’ve been telling you to go to the doctor. I made you that appointment, and you skipped out on it.” Yes, after I went and physically made an appointment for him, he claimed he forgot, and still didn’t go.

He stared ahead and stayed quiet for a moment before he finally said, “I know.”

“Will you go now? This is the second hospital trip with the same issue and both times the doctor has said you need to see a cardiologist.”

“I guess I’m going to have to.”

“What’s the problem? Like, what’s stopping you? Obviously there’s an issue. Don’t you want that fixed, so you don’t have to worry about these episodes?”

“Honestly, Ab,” he said, sighing. “I’m scared. I don’t know what they’re going to say. What if it’s something life threatening?”

Hearing his admission of fright only made me think that guilt and paranoia were taking over his mind. Maybe he thought this was his payback for all the damage he caused. Surely that was the case…if he ever loved me at all.

“You don’t know until you go. I highly doubt it’s something life threatening, but it needs to be addressed.” I said.

“I’m going to go. For real this time.” He said, clearly defeated.

“Good.”

We drove in silence, stopping by the pharmacy to pick up his medication before we headed home. Once there, we unpacked our bags and crawled into bed. He took one of the pills for his pain, and soon he was off to sleep. I laid there awake, thinking about how crazy I had become. My heart and mind were being pulled in all kinds of directions. I longed for a sense of peace and normalcy, but was unsure if I’d ever actually reach that point in my life.

***

Monday morning, Marcus called the doctor to make an appointment and they worked him in that day. I went on to work as usual. I’d been working for a few hours when Mike called me into his office. I pulled out the chair across from his desk and sat down, anxious to know the reason for the meeting.

“I wanted to tell you before it was announced in a group setting, but I did put in my notice. I’ll be retiring at the end of the month.” He said.

I slumped down in my chair and sighed. “I was really hoping this wasn’t going to be what you called me in here for.”

“I’m sorry, Abby. I wish I’d have found you earlier. You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had, and I’m not just saying that. I really would like you to take my position.”

We joked about it often, but I’d never put any serious thought into that idea. “Really?” I asked.

“Absolutely. You’ve been my right hand since you started here and you know what you’re doing. You have it all together. I’ve already mentioned your name to my boss, but I definitely think you should go for it. Of course you’ll have to apply and interview, but I don’t think that will be a problem for you either.”

“Wow.”  I said, at a loss for words. “Okay. I mean, yeah, I definitely want to go for it.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He said.

“When will the job be posted?”

“Within the next few days. Just keep an eye out.”

“Okay. I will. I’m really bummed about this, but I appreciate