Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

And after everything he’d been through, it was no wonder he was exhausted. I had to let it go. Maybe I’d get another chance, but keeping his past in mind, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to make him see it in a different light, no matter how much time he was given. He’d been broken for so long I wasn’t sure all the pieces could be put back together. Some things were beyond repair.

I looked at him, feeling my heart break a little more as I gave up on the dream.

“We have to go.” I stood, holding out a hand. “You can do this.”

He looked up at me, then made a small nod.

I helped him stand, wrapping an arm around his waist as he staggered.

I didn't believe it myself, but said it anyway. “Everythin' will be fine.”

27

Please Remember

We only had a few hours left. The boat steadily plunged forward, and as it brought us closer to port, my heart broke a bit more. This was it. Once we stepped ashore, I’d have to go on with my life as if nothing had happened. But meeting Johnny had rocked my whole world. And I didn't know how I’d be able to go back to my old life. Did it even exist?

The cabin we were stuffed into was just big enough for two. The water splashed against the hull of the boat but I couldn't see anything from where we were. Johnny sat on a narrow bed, leaning against the wall, with eyes closed and that haunted look on his face. I was sure jumping into the water and swimming back to the island would’ve been more appealing to him than what awaited him.

Marc wasn’t pleased about leaving us alone, but he gave us our space. And here we were, trying to be brave while we were both breaking inside.

If I hadn't heard Johnny whisper that night on the island that he’d miss me, too, I wouldn't have believed it could be possible. Seeing him now, I was sure he was as sad as I was to know our time had finally come to an end.

"How are you feelin'?" I’d asked it so many times before, but I couldn't help myself. Knowing that I would have to leave him when he was sick troubled me to my core. I hated the thought of not knowing what would happen to him.

"Bree.” He smiled a small smile, shaking his head.

"I know,” I sighed. "I ain't gonna ask again."

He opened his eyes and let them rest on me. “I’ll be fine, don't worry," he said, trying to ease my mind. It wasn't working. I knew enough by now to understand that what had happened was nothing he’d ever want to face again, but here we were, heading right back into the same nightmare he'd fled from. The nightmare he had no idea how to cope with.

"What will you do when you get back?"

The unmistakable sadness in his eyes spoke louder than any words. But when he spoke, no trace of it was in his voice.

“It'll be right back to filming—if they haven't already fired me, that is."

I smiled despite the uneasy feeling inside of me.

"That movie ain't nothin' without you."

He gave me a small smile in return. “And what about you?"

"Back to work on the farm, I reckon, there's always somethin' to do around there."

He nodded. "Sounds great."

I frowned. “Really?”

"Of course,” he said. “I'd love a place like that.” He paused and then went on. “The privacy, the freedom of going wherever you want without . . .” He left the sentence unfinished and I mentally filled in the rest. Without a bunch of crazy fans running after him. Without a team of guards following his every move.

"It sounds like you already miss the island,” I said.

"I'm not always like this, it's just . . . it's been too much lately."

I nodded. Understanding.

“Just . . .” I didn’t know how to put it. “Even though I won’t be there, remember I'm on your side. I believe in you, no matter what she or the rest of the world says. You're not alone.”

Instead of speaking, he tugged at my hand, and held out his arms to me. I got up and stepped into his embrace.

"You have no idea how much that means to me," he said.

He was right, I didn't know, but I hoped with all my heart that he would remember. That it would be enough to help him through whatever Nancy was about to do next. I hated the thought of not being there myself. But he didn't want it, or didn't allow himself the comfort, the love—I didn't know which, and I tried not to think of it. Thinking wouldn’t change anything, and I didn’t want to let the scene in the bathroom ruin our last moment together.

How was I supposed to go back to reading about him on the net like any other fan? It would never be the same again; it would never make me happy the way it once had. In fact, it would only make the whole thing worse, but what choice did I have?

Johnny’s hot breath tickled my skin as he whispered my name into my neck. I pulled away just enough to be able to look at him.

“Sorry about . . . earlier. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

“I—"

He shook his head. “I’m ok,” he said.

I didn't believe him.

“Johnny—"

I was once again cut off.

“I know you read it,” he said.

My breath caught in my throat and my cheeks burned.

“I'm sorry, I . . .” I couldn’t meet his gaze, but the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips made me look back up at him.

“How—" I knew it before asking, but it didn't make me feel any less guilty. “I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.”

“No,” he said. “I mean I’m—" He paused to take a deep breath. “I’m glad you did.”

My eyes widened.

“You know . . .” He took my