Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

"It's time to go; the dinghy is ready," he said, sounding just as coldhearted as he looked.

I turned back to Johnny with sorrow in my heart and tears in my eyes. The way he looked at me made the tears I’d been trying to hold back roll freely down my cheeks.

He took my face between his hands, leaning in to kiss me once more. One last time.

“Please remember me,” I managed to whisper. He gave me a short nod, then closed his eyes briefly. I studied his handsome face with a growing sense of panic. How could I leave him like this? How could I ever get over him after falling so hard for him? It didn't matter who he was—not any more. My heart didn't care whether he was a beggar or the richest, sexiest man to walk this earth. All I wanted was to be with him, in every way possible. It didn't matter that he was Johnny Grey, the fucking Johnny Grey, whom every girl would die to be with. For me, he was just Johnny, my Johnny, and I didn't want to lose him.

"Come on," Marc said. "The boat is waiting."

I blinked away tears. "Just give me a minute, please.”

Johnny took my hand in both of his and spoke in a voice thick with emotion.

"Thank you, for everything." He looked down at our joined hands. "I owe you so much."

I shook my head and managed to choke out, “I’d do it all over again."

He looked at me, emotion clear on his face.

I decided to go for it. What did I have to lose? With everything we'd been through, the last hour on this boat included, it wasn't too farfetched to tell him. It didn’t matter if he didn’t share my feelings, I was past caring about embarrassing myself. The words had been burning inside of me for too long, and if I didn’t say them now, I’d never get another chance. If there was even a one percent chance those little words could make a difference I needed to take that chance, no matter the cost.

"I love you," I said it before I had a chance to change my mind. The moment I said it I realized the words couldn’t possibly have the effect on him as I’d hoped. How many times per day had he heard girls screaming it to him? I was just one of millions in line to declare their so-called love for him.

“Not as a fan,” I quickly added. Knowing I should shut the hell up, I went on anyway. “I love you.” My cheeks burned with heat and I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze.

"I don't deserve that."

My head snapped up and my eyes widened as I stared at him. That wasn't what I’d expected to hear. Truth was, I didn't know what I’d hoped for. For him to say thanks? That he would say it back?

Keep on dreaming, my mind taunted, he’s Johnny Grey for Christ’s sake, it added. I wanted to sink through the floor. What was I thinking? Who he was did matter. It was the main thing standing between us. It was why being with him was nothing more than an impossible dream.

"Of course you do," I whispered. You're amazing, I wanted to add, but kept silent this time. He smiled then, and my heart melted at the sight of that beautiful grin. Then he reached out a hand, brushing his fingers over my cheek, catching a few tears with his thumb. He looked at me, those deep dark eyes burning into mine with so much emotion I had to look away. "Bree . . ." he began. “I—"

Marc cut him off. "We have to go, now."

Both Johnny and I looked at the man, irritated for being so abruptly interrupted. I looked back at Johnny, but the moment was gone. Whatever he’d been about to say was lost.

"Brianna.” Marc grabbed my arm and dragged me to my feet. "The boat is waiting, say goodbye now," he said.

It was obvious Marc knew the reason for the locked door, hell, the whole boat probably did, but I didn’t care. What made me wonder was Marc’s reaction to it all. He couldn't wait to get rid of me. The way he’d stormed inside when Johnny had unlocked the door; and the way he so abruptly kept on interrupting everything we wanted to say, just proved me right. I didn't understand, but I didn't dare to disobey.

Johnny got up on his feet, holding on to the wall for support. All the strength he’d had earlier had vanished, but still, he took the few steps separating us. “Let her go," he said. Marc began to protest, but one glare from Johnny made him drop my arm, and I flung myself into his embrace.

Then, all too soon, he loosened the grip and I had to do the same. Then one more kiss, and I was dragged away, up the stairs to the deck and down a ladder to the waiting dinghy.

"I'm sorry." Marc’s voice was surprisingly soft. "But the last thing Johnny needs is another girl to fuck up his life. Do you understand that?"

I blinked away tears, glaring up at the man. Not having enough energy to argue with him, I nodded, and wished I was back home on my farm. And soon I would be.

Far away from Johnny, my inner voice added. Far, far away and you’ll never see him again. 

Shut up, I muttered. Just shut the hell up.

The boat started with a jerk and then sped off. Marc stood on deck, staring at me as we left in different directions.

Tears blurred my vision until I couldn't see. My knees buckled and I sank to the floor. Once I'd started crying, I didn't know how to stop. The memories were too present, too painful. I could still feel the taste of him on my lips, hear his soft voice whisper