Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

Of course, he did, the little voice snapped. Why wouldn’t he? 

I’d been stupid to expect anything else. It didn’t stop me from missing him—from thinking of him, remembering him. If I closed my eyes, I could still see him as clearly as if he was standing right before me. Lying alone in bed at night, I imagined him right there with me. I could close my eyes and hear his soft breath in my ear. Or if I really wanted to torture myself, I imagined his lips on mine. I let myself recall those wonderful times together in that way—and relive them. I had a good imagination, so it wasn't hard to fantasize about all the things he’d do to me. How his body would feel in rhythm with mine . . .

It was a comfort at night, but when the morning came and the bright Kentucky sun once again reminded me that it was nothing but wishful thinking and hopeless dreams, I couldn’t help but wish I’d never met him at all.

Absentmindedly I picked up a small stone and threw it across the river. It skipped a few times before sinking into the depths.

The sun shone from a clear, blue sky, and the warmth felt wonderful on my skin. I came here a lot lately; the lone oak by the river had become some sort of a sanctuary. Surrounded by open fields of tall grass gently swaying in the warm breeze, I felt like I could breathe again. The farm lay far behind me across the hills, and no one ever came here. That was one of the reasons I loved this place.

Normally Bella would have carried me here, and sure, I could’ve taken another horse, but I wasn't ready for that yet. This had been our secret getaway, and now she was gone. Just like Johnny, my mind added, making me let out another deep sigh. Just like Johnny. 

I picked up another pebble, throwing it into the river. It made a little splash—then it was gone, too.

Thinking back to the day when I’d come home, the corners of my mouth stretched into a weak smile. My family had been so relieved they'd all been crying, and I, well . . . I had bawled openly.

They'd questioned me, and I’d been forced to tell them everything. The sad look on my face had been the only thing convincing them I'd actually told the truth.

I hated the thought of them all knowing how badly I’d fallen for Johnny, but at the same time, I was sure no one could blame me. What girl would not fall for him after a week like that?

Rick had told me to be patient and wait for things to settle, but I’d read about Nancy's accusations in the papers and the bitch clung to her story. I was sure Johnny would have a hard time getting out of the mess she'd created. I had no idea of what would happen to him if Nancy got her way, and it shouldn’t be my concern.

I wanted so badly to hold him in my arms once more and promise him it would be all right. I couldn't do that—because I didn't know if it would. I didn't know anything.

If Nancy didn't admit she’d made it all up, Johnny was in big trouble, even I could figure that out. I could only imagine how much the constant stress must be killing him.

The rhythmic beat of hooves against the hill brought me out of my thoughts. By the sound of it, there were two horses, galloping in a steady rhythm toward me. I didn't look up. Whoever it was would have to come closer if they wanted to get my attention.

The horses stopped. Their soft snorting made me realize they couldn't be more than a few feet away from me. Still, the riders were completely silent. It made me frown, and curiosity finally got the best of me. I turned my head, first only seeing eight muscular horse legs towering over me.

I got to my feet, annoyed at being so oddly interrupted in my session of self-pity.

"What do you want?" I snapped. "Why—" My voice died a quick death as my gaze finally landed on the person in the saddle. My mouth fell open and I could only stare, thinking for sure I imagined him there.

He kept on watching me with those deep brown eyes locked on mine.

When he finally spoke, his voice was just above a whisper.

"Hey."

I blinked, feeling myself slowly coming out of the shock. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. 

Say somethin', my mind screamed. For God’s sake, speak! I couldn't, not yet. And as I watched him, I realized he hadn't smiled, not even the slightest hint of one. In fact, he looked scared, and the sadness I'd grown so used to seeing in his eyes had spread across his face.

"Johnny," I finally managed to whisper. "What's wrong?"

I was afraid of the answer, but it never came. Instead, he slid off the horse, then hesitated a few seconds before walking up to me. He looked down at me and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"I missed you,” he said. "I had to come."

I gaped, trying to rule out the possibility of him being nothing but a hallucination. Had I gone crazy? Were the endless nights of imagining him finally playing tricks on my mind?

“Say something,” he whispered.

I couldn’t. I wasn’t even sure he was really there.

He shifted, averting his eyes. “Should I go?”

I slowly reached out a hand to brush it against his arm, and the warmth from his skin made me gasp. “You’re really here.”

He gave me a small nod. “I’m here.”

A hand flew to my mouth and tears sprung to my eyes.

We looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. It was surreal seeing him standing there right before me, just as I’d dreamt for so long.

"I thought you'd forgotten about