Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

I smiled, hugging him even tighter.

"I have to fly back tomorrow."

I pulled away and for a moment it looked like he was about to cry. Then he finally glanced back up, meeting my eyes.

"I don't know when this is going to be over, or how it will turn out, but—" His voice broke. "But at least I know that you still care.”

"I love you.” I gave him a sad smile. "And it will be ok." I knew I promised something I couldn’t control, but I hoped it made him feel a little better.

“They could throw me in jail.”

I choked back a sob, refusing to believe it.

“Not for somethin' you didn’t even do.”

He let out a deep sigh. "I might not be able to come for a long time.”

"I'll wait . . . I'll be here when it's over.”

He gave me a sad smile but didn't speak—he didn't need to. I could already see the emotion in his eyes and it couldn't be clearer that my words had touched him deeply. I smiled, feeling my own heart swell with emotion.

∞∞∞

Johnny fell asleep even though he said he didn’t want to miss a second of the time we had together. I didn't have the heart to wake him.

I sat in the darkness of my room, the covers wrapped around my body, and watched him as he slept. Even in sleep he looked troubled and tense.

I clasped my hands over my heart and prayed to whoever was willing to listen, begging for this to be over; for someone to help him through the darkness. If there was one person who deserved to be happy, it was Johnny. I only knew what he’d told me, and I was sure there was an even more tragic backstory which he hadn’t shared with me. But what he'd said, was more than enough. It was more than anyone should have to live with. And if that hadn’t been enough, now he was once again thrown into a hell so much worse than what I’d first imagined.

“Bree?”

His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Hey.” He sat up, reached out a hand to touch my face. “What’s wrong?”

“Just memorizin’ you.”

“I don’t wanna go back,” he whispered. “It’s lovely here—your family, the calm . . . you.” He turned his gaze away. “I always wanted a family like this, but—" His voice broke. “It was never meant for me.”

I struggled to not cry. “We are your family now. You’ll always have a place here. They all love you.”

His voice was thick with emotion as he whispered a broken, “Thank you.”

I lay down on my back, holding out an arm, and he shifted into my embrace naturally. I wrapped both arms around him, letting one travel to his hair to softy run through it in the way he loved.

“Try to sleep.”

“I don’t wanna waste this time,” he whispered into my neck. “Don’t let me fall asleep.”

“Ok.”

His body relaxed against mine, his weight familiar and comforting.

I closed my eyes, wishing I could freeze time. In just a few hours, dawn would break through the night and we’d have to get up and head for the airport.

“Are you really mine?”

“All yours,” he murmured. “For as long as you want me.”

A soft gasp slipped through my lips, and I didn’t know whether I should feel happy—or sad. How could he even say such a thing? What did he think he was to me? Some kind of toy which I’d throw away once I grew tired of it?

“I’ll never leave you.” I kissed the top of his head. “I love you.”

His smile tickled my skin, and he whispered the words back to me so low I could barely hear him.

“One day I'll tell you everything, if you want to know, I mean.”

I did and didn’t. In fact, I was terrified to learn more about his life, but I also wanted to understand him; to really know him and all of his demons.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

He let out a soft sigh, nuzzling his face a little closer to me and I smiled into the dark. No matter what would happen, I’d be forever grateful for the opportunity to have him in my life. The fact that he came back to me and wanted to stay was more than I’d ever dared to hope for. I’d been so sure, back on the island, that a future with Johnny was just wishful thinking and hopeless dreams. Now he was here, on my farm, in my bed, in my arms, and there was no place in this world he’d rather be. Hell, he’d even told me the exact words. It was unbelievable—but it was true.

Johnny Grey was mine. The Johnny Grey. When I thought of it like that, I was still in awe. But he wasn’t just the movie star with looks to die for, he hadn’t been for a long time. For me, he was just Johnny—my Johnny.

With or without you

Johnny

“Don’t drink so much,” Bree said, and I scoffed at her words.

“Do you want me to survive this trip, or not?” I didn't want to disappoint her, or worry her, or any other shit I was capable of. But I needed this, no doubt about that. In one hour, I’d be flying away from the only good thing in my life. Drinking was the only way to help me cope with the upcoming five-hour flight from Kentucky to LAX, not to mention what waited for me once I arrived. It was safe to say the overconsumption of alcohol was the least of my problems.

The constant buzz of voices around us made me wish I was back on the island, or on Bree’s farm. Anywhere where I could be alone to think—to breathe. I scanned the crowd; people of all sizes and colors were running around like ants, dragging suitcases, carrying backpacks, all of them too busy to notice me.

I stole a glance at the beautiful redhead next to me in the small but busy