Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

"No.” He inched closer. "I could never forget you." He took my hand, then looked down at our intertwined fingers. "Trust me, I tried,” he sighed. "I can't have you in my life, but I—" He let go of my hand and stepped away. "I can't live without you, either."

I was at a loss for words.

"I can't take it anymore." He ran a hand through his hair. It had grown longer. "I'm not allowed to leave the fucking state. But here I am." He pressed a hand to his forehead, taking a few deep breaths.

"Sorry." He gave me a small smile, then went on. “I don’t know what will happen.” He hung his head. “I’m trying to be positive but—" His voice broke, and when he spoke again, it was just a whisper. “I could lose it all.”

“It’s that bad?”

He nodded, clenched his jaw, and looked away.

"Hey." I closed the distance between us, laying a comforting hand on his arm. "It’ll be ok."

Before he could speak, I wrapped my arms around him and he tensed, letting out a ragged breath. His arms hesitated as if he was afraid of touching me, then slowly, he wrapped them around me, letting his body relax in my arms. "I forgot how good you make me feel," he whispered.

Tears filled my eyes, and before I could stop myself, I blurted, "I'll go with you."

The moment the words left my mouth I regretted them. Not that I didn’t mean it. Hell, I’d follow him anywhere, but it was definitely too much, and too soon.

A small gasp slipped from his mouth. He stepped away so he could look at me.

"You’d do that?"

I nodded.

He sighed, then shook his head. "I couldn't do that to you. You don’t know what it's like." That haunted look came over his face again and he looked lost, like he was far away in his own personal nightmare. "They’d rip you apart along with me."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I can’t imagine it."

"No," he said. "You can’t. I don't want you to." He took my hand, holding it for a long time before speaking again. "But thanks."

"Johnny."

He shook his head, silently begging me to leave it, to withhold the sympathy that I knew he needed—but dreaded.

"Bree," he whispered my name. "I . . ."

He played with my thumbnail, avoiding looking directly at me. “I—" He let out a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair to buy himself a few seconds of silence.

"I think I’m in love with you.”

I was stunned. Yes, it seemed he had that effect on me quite often, but this surely took the prize. Was he serious? Could he really?

He must’ve seen the disbelief on my face because he flashed me a quick smile. "Really.” He swallowed, biting his lower lip before continuing. "I should've told you before but I—" He muttered something I couldn’t hear, wiping sweat from his forehead, and I stared at him as he was struggling with the words.

"I just—I’m—" He tried to suck in a few deep breaths, once again running a trembling hand through his hair. Then he flashed me a quick smile and finally managed to gasp. “I’m terrified.”

When I still didn't speak, he turned his gaze away.

"Bree,” he began. "It's good if you don’t love me back. I'd understand. I’d be relieved because I shouldn’t do this to you, but I’m—”

"No!" I yelled, and he flinched.

"I'm just shocked. I—" Did he think I didn't care for him anymore? How could he even think such a thing? "I do love you," I blurted. "I love you." This time I whispered it, but the volume didn't matter, it was the feeling behind it that did. “I’ve missed you.”

I was in his arms before I realized what had happened, and his lips felt just as good as I remembered. Once we started kissing, I didn't want to ever stop. It had been too long, and if we didn't stop soon, things would turn into more than kissing—real fast. Just the thought of it was enough to make me tremble.

"Johnny."

He didn't listen, and why would it matter? We were far from the farm; no one ever came to look for me here. I wasn’t quite sure how Johnny had managed to find me.

The grass tickled my back as I lowered myself onto it, pulling Johnny down with me. The familiar warmth from his body as he moved over me made me think back to the island. I missed our time there, but having him here—now—made the island a distant dream. The place itself wasn't what mattered. It was Johnny. I was sure, being with him could make any place just as beautiful.

The sun painted the sky orange and red as it was about to set over the hills, and the hint of cold in the air didn't bother me. It could have been snowing for all I cared; nothing could ruin this moment as I lay wrapped in Johnny's arms.

"Why two horses?" I asked, glancing up at the animals, who were grazing peacefully in the nearby grass.

Then another thought struck me, and I frowned. "They're not from the farm. Where . . ."

"You see the palomino there?" Johnny gestured for a pretty mare with a golden body and pure white mane and tail. "That's Ladybug—but I call her Lady, and she's yours if you want her."

My mouth fell open.

“Wh . . .  what?" I was once again confused and totally amazed at how he never stopped surprising me.

"I remember when you told me about Bella, and . . . well, I thought you'd like Lady; she's a really nice horse."

My eyes once again filled with tears, and I managed to squeeze out a small, "Thank you."

"The brown one, he’s Jackaro, and I was hoping you'd take care of him for me. I'll pay for him of course. Until I come back.”

I turned in his arms, wrapping mine around him. "Of course, I will," I said. "Are you really comin' back?"

"I can't stay away from